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Conan The Destroyer (1984) Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, Tracey Walter, Mako, Sarah Douglas, Olivia d'Abo, Pat Roach, Jeff Corey, Sven-Ole Thorsen, André the Giant and Ferdy Mayne Directed By: Richard Fleischer Review THE MOST POWERFUL LEGEND OF ALL IS BACK IN A NEW ADVENTURE. After the first Conan film making it big at the box office a sequel was on the cards an not just a sequel but apparently Arnold was signed on for a ten year contract with Deno De Laurentiis, the plan was to produce a Conan movie every two years. After watching this I wish that was the case. Conan the Destroyer features the hero (Arnold Schwarzenegger) as he is commissioned by the queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) to safely escort a teen princess (Olivia D'Abo) and her powerful bodyguard (Wilt Chamberlain) to a far away castle to retrieve the magic Horn of Dagon. Unknown to Conan, the queen plans to sacrifice the princess when she returns and inherit her kingdom after the bodyguard kills Conan. The queen's plans fail to take into consideration Conan's strength and cunning and the abilities of his sidekicks: the eccentric wizard Akiro (Mako), the wild woman Zula (Grace Jones), and the inept Malak (Tracey Walter). Together the hero and his allies must defeat both mortal and supernatural foes in this voyage to sword-and-sorcery land. This follow-up was made to address the issues fans had with the first movie. They put in a higher fantasy element and the film was more outlandish and colorful much like the comic from Marvel(funny actually) from the 1970s-1993. It left fans of the first film disappointed(shocked I am not) many cited the change of tone and push for a more family- friendly approach as the wrong way to go but on the plus side some critics felt it was a fun sword/sorcery film that was obviously faithful to the Marvel comics, since Edward R. Pressman suggested that the writer of those comics Roy Thomas write the script. The ending was suppose to have a demon instead but things seemed to expensive and they had to be scaled down. Roy and Gerry weren't happy with the end result of the script. Universal and Dino wanted to maximize profits for the sequel and the best course of action was to try and reduce the rating to a PG and appeal to younger viewers. Arnold expressed his concern on the reduced violence he felt they were going to alienate the fans and would cause problems with its success, but he still had fun making the film. Arnold is back and he does a pretty good job in the film, I can't necessarily say that he was just as good as he was in the first because I don't think hes that good here but hes still the person that will always come to mind when I think of Conan. He put on an extra ten pounds for the role. Sarah Dogulas who plays queen Taramia is just as great as she is in another comic book movie Superman II. Grace Jones plays Zula a character who was originally a man and created by Roy Thomas in the Marvel comics. Olivia d'Abo in her film debut and was only 15 years old at the time of shooting plays the beautiful princess Jehnna, for her film debut she did pretty good but was mostly screaming every time she got captured which for some could be pretty annoying but it didn't bother me. Tracey Walter plays Malick a thief who works along side Conan and is a bit of a coward who doesn't care much for the quest. Mako is back as Akiro the wizard to help Conan fight off other wizards along the way and is only other returning cast member from the first movie. The movies visual effects are still pretty great despite usage of blue screen. But the miniatures are the effects that are the best, like the castles and expand the world. The beast the wizard turns into is a nice design but doesn't give the actor much to do with his facial features. The winged creature that he also turns into is also nicely executed. The films goal was not only to capitalize on the success of the first film but to also make a more comic book style sword and sorcery adventure. The story and other characters do feel pretty weak given how good there performers are. The film does have quite a few problems such as that and can suck you out of it if your looking for something more. The tone is also not consistent with its first movie which is kind of problem considering how masterful I think that movie is. Conan The Destroyer is a fun watch but don't expect the first movie. Its goal was to have a higher fantasy elements and be more colorful towards children. With that in mind I think its great as a stand- alone film not as a sequel and I'm a huge sucker for sword/sorcery. It has good performances and great action and music but it is weak on story and side characters. Call me crazy but I still love it just as much as the first but for totally different reason I'm giving Conan The Destroyer a five out of five.

Conan The Barbarian (1982) Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Cassandra Gava, Ben Davidson, Gerry Lopez, Mako, Valérie Quennessen, William Smith, Luis Barboo, Franco Columbu, Nadiuska, Jack Taylor, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Pilar Alcón, and Jorge Sanz Directed By: John Milius Review THIEF. WARRIOR. GLADIATOR. KING. This is the big one, the most recommended sword/sorcery movie. This created that sub-genres boom in the 80s for being pretty successful at the box office. Based on Robert E. Howard's most famous character, the film follows the most famous sword/sorcery character Conan as a child he watches his family get slaughtered right before his eyes. Young Conan is taken and enslaved until he is disbanded to learn how to become a killing machine. Conan becomes a thief with his new companions Subotai and Valeria. After having stolen from a serpent group, the king asks them to rescue his daughter the princess. Now Conan and his companions must use there skills to rescue the princess and put an end to Thulsa Doom. The film has very little dialogue which amplifies the performance of each actor on screen. Apparently not only did Arnold get acting tips from James Earl Jones but he also had to slim down a little for those awesome moments when he would have to spin the sword around. Max Von Sydo who plays the king Osric wanted to take on the role for his son who is a huge fan of the comics and he thought it would be a lot of fun. Sandahl Bergman who plays Valeria was a professional dancer had to learn how to do all her own stunts in the film nearly losing a finger in the process. Gerry Lopez was a good friend of the directors and John thought he would be good for the part after a screen test. Mako plays the Wizard and is the narrator, this dude well hes just awesome. The effects in this mostly still hold aside from the obvious blue screen in the opening of the film. We can assume that is why the director chose to go low-key on the fantasy element. That way he wouldn't have to rely on too many effects. The best effect in the film however is the giant snake in the temple of doom. Basil Poledouris the composer of the film had composed two hours of music being attached very early on. The director had envisioned this film with very little dialogue. Its a fantastic score that keeps you in tune with the film. They made it production wise as a very believable world as if this might have happened long ago. I wasn't really disappointed at the fact that there is no big battle between Conan and Doom because throughout the film I knew that most memorable thing about this film would be its performances, music, direction and overall story. This is a grand epic tale. Conan The Barbarian is one of the greatest fantasy epics but I choose to see it as more dramatic adventure film than anything else. I heard that Arnold and Chris Morgan have being trying to bring back Conan, Arnold has come back as the terminator I only hope he makes a big return as Conan sometime soon. I'm giving Conan The Barbarian a 10 out of 10.

Kull the Conqueror (1997) Starring: Kevin Sorbo, Tia Carrere, Thomas Ian Griffith, Litefoot, Roy Brocksmith, Harvey Fierstein, Karina Lombard, Edward Tudor-Pole, Douglas Henshall, Joe Shaw, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Terry O'Neill, Pat Roach, John Hallam, and Peter Petruna Directed By: John Nicolella Review COURAGE CONQUERS ALL. Epic this was not. The 90s is when sword & Sorcery movies really turned into even major stinkers. This is based on another Robert E. Howard character Kull of Atlantis. It makes sense considering the most financially successful sword/sorcery film was Conan another one of Robert's characters. This I feel bombed because woof. Not to mention before he created Conan he created Kull. This was even suppose to be the third Conan movie. The sword and sorcery genre was even making a comeback but mostly on television with Xena and a Hercules show with Kevin Sorbo as Hercules who would be Kull in this movie. A barbarian named Kull becomes ruler after defeating the old king in battle, thus receiving his crown. But direct heirs of the king, trying to topple Kull and regain the throne, bring an old witch queen Akivasha back to life. Their plan backfires, however, as Akivasha plans to have her demon lords rule the kingdom alone. The only thing that can stop her is the breath of the god Volka, and Kull. The film starts off with text about a demon that's read to you. Apparently the movie thinks we're idiots who can't read. If a movie has text I don't think it should ever be read to you. We cut to Kull battling men in an army to join the ranks of the kingdom. It is given the word that the king was assassinated Kull kills the kings killer and is proclaimed as the new king. The more with move on the more bored I got, it doesn't help that the film has no charisma. Everyone here looks like their bored as hell which made me bored. The action scenes some were okay others were just lame. The special effects and production design are terrible almost as if they were made for a TV movie. The end when you see the demon in its full form is some horrendous CGI. The backdrops look like there green screen in some shots, I bet they were. The direction from John Nicolella is just as awful as the production design. He should have asked for a better script and done a better job at shooting some of the fight scenes. The only decent I can say about this movie is Karina Lombard is one hot woman. Kull the Conqueror is not a great introduction to the character and is another poor adaptation on one of Robert E. Howard's characters much like Red Sonja, only thing is this is even worse. I'm giving Kull The Conqueror a one out of five.