victorherm54

I've been using IMDB for about 20 years, but I hardly ever write reviews for films. I had to on this one, though, after seeing so many glowing reviews from people giving it 9s and 10s (are you kidding me?) as well as it having a 7.5 average rating on here, which is quite high for IMDB movies.

First off, the movie is by no means GOOD. I'm not saying it is BAD, but there just isn't anything GOOD that gets pulled off during its overly long runtime. For example, in a pivotal scene where the Matt Damon character gives a speech during a meeting, it's supposed to be a great inspirational scene and great speech...BUT IT'S NOT. It's just not. That's what I'm talking about, that nothing in the movie ever really stands out or approaches greatness - to borrow a basketball analogy, it's like watching an NBA team in pregame warmups shooting free throws and midrange jump shots. You'd be like "Yeah, that's a nice shot, but everyone can make that, I'm not seeing anything out of these paid professionals that would qualify as world class or as something I wouldn't be able to do."

Not to mention the questionable historical accuracy of the film, especially when it pertains to Nike's finances at the time and also the role M. Jordan's mother played during this whole recruitment.

I mean, I guess LOOPER was pretty good. Other than that, we have his Star Wars 8 movie which needs no mentioning, the original Knives Out, and this. As far as the original Knives Out, how that mediocre whodunit got the praise it got (including an Oscar win I think?) was beyond me. For pete's sake, that movie featured a ridiculous contrivance where one of the characters literally has to vomit every time she tells a lie -wut??? Kind of a useful plot device to implement in a whodunit if the writer is feeling lazy.

As for this Glass Onion movie, it is just so shallow, with silly characters, silly murder mystery, etc. It pales in comparison to other whodunit murder mysteries of the past like Death On The Nile or Murder On The Orient Express, which weren't even THAT great, but compared to Glass Onion they are excellent and intriguing. You're better off using these 2 hours to play a spirited game of Clue.

Been rating movies on IMDB for years, but hardly ever sit down to contribute a review. Well, I had to for this one. I've been a fan of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu ever since I saw his debut film AMORES PERROS in Mexico City, and upon leaving the theater, Alejandro was waiting there outside greeting people and asking us what we thought. We all congratulated him for such a great work. For me it was the type of Mexican movie I'd been waiting my whole life to see. Fast forward several years and other movies like 21 Grams, Babel, Revenant, Birdman, I like them all, to varying degrees.

Unfortunately, for this BARDO one he keeps building on that "artsiness" that started to rear its head in Birdman, but here he cranks up the artsy to 11. This reminds me of another much hyped artsy movie by a Mexican director: Roma. If you liked that tripe, then you might like this one too. For me, it felt much too artsy and European quirky, with characters I really didn't care much for, some artsy hallucination sequences, and it even throws in some very HAMFISTED hacky stuff "boo hooo Brown people are discriminated against by elitist Mexicans, so much classism there is" and also "boo hooo Mexicans are discriminated against in the USA, often times by other people of Mexican descent". They even throw in some shots at Hernan Cortes the colonizer, ffs. It was hamfisted stuff that is quite frankly beneath a director of Gonzalez's track record.

Give me more AMORES PERROS and less of this artsy quirky "introspective" identity crisis stuff that is way too long (2:30) and that only stuffy nerds from the New Yorker consider brilliant and a masterpiece.