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sjcoek

Joined Oct 2004
Welcome to the new profile
We're still working on updating some profile features. To see the badges, ratings breakdowns, and polls for this profile, please go to the previous version.

Reviews3

sjcoek's rating
Maléfique, Les Couloirs de l'Enfer

Maléfique, Les Couloirs de l'Enfer

5.2
1
  • Sep 26, 2006
  • unbelievably bad

    This film makes Plan 9 From OPuter Space look like Casablanca, and the direction makes Ed wood look like Hitchcock. It's a shame films like this are even able to get made when there are filmmakers with REAL talent out there who can't get a break. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about DUG -- the plot is insipid, the sets and lighting amateurish, the acting abysmal, and the entire story line gets tired after five minutes. Worth buying if you need an extra DVD case or coaster, but don't waste your time and brain cells by actually watching it. A rerun of Gilligan's Island has more substance, and is infinitely more rewarding.

    The Privateers

    7.2
    1
  • Nov 3, 2004
  • Pure, unadulterated, un messed-with...

    Trash. This thing is even worse than Demon Under Glass, a product of the producers. The plot is beyond amateurish, the writing lame, the acting so mediocre it hurts, the photography lousy. There's just nothing there and it just goes nowhere. The fact that they got an actor from Star Trek only goes to show how busy he wasn't. The poor guy really must've needed the bucks. And apparently, other than a VERY small cult, nobody cares. Maybe it's time Warner and Cunningham, who know how to whip up hype then deliver nothing at all, stop torturing people and admit to themselves they need to be in a field other than film or TV. Politics, maybe? Lotta false hype there.
    Maléfique, Les Couloirs de l'Enfer

    Maléfique, Les Couloirs de l'Enfer

    5.2
    1
  • Oct 11, 2004
  • They don't come much lamer

    Consider: The Government wants to capture a vampire and keep him in a hermetically sealed coffin and study him. Why they do this is never really revealed. But hey, it's the government. So basically, the vamp is poked and prodded every day and locked in the box every night. Deep, huh? Oh yeah, he's nicknamed Vlad (highly original) and is captured, as the description tells you, with the help of a "beautiful" female cop. The photography, direction and especially the writing border on terrible and more than once cross the line into putrid. ("Sir, you presume too much!!"). The acting ranges from competent to hammy (and BAD hammy) to non-existent. All in all, a waste of almost 2 hours. Pauly Shore has more depth.

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