lowtaxico
Joined Jan 2013
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.
Badges4
To learn how to earn badges, go to the badges help page.
Reviews1
lowtaxico's rating
This is the perfect movie for people who do not want to see both karate and warriors. Or six of them. As stated in the title, a fat man with a mullet pedals his bike into the side of some foreign national's limousine. He pretends to be injured and a man covered in mysterious robes with a highly foreign accent gives him $20,000 to not report the accident. The accident in which he didn't get injured. He brings the money back to his friends, who naturally laugh at him and begin tearing the money up for reasons I cannot comprehend. Then he says the money is for them to go to Europe and hands out travel flyers which somehow manifested into his possession.
As you can expect, when they get to Europe they see a mermaid in a lake, and bring all their money and clothes to bathe naked and take photos of the mermaid so they can sell them to the news channels. Unfortunately the mermaid is actually a man in a wig, and an Italian man runs off with all their possessions. Because they are really stupid.
As you would expect, the fat mullet man pretends to be a tour guide and show Americans around Greece. It doesn't work, so they decide to get money from winning a dirt bike race. All these events and scenes make sense to somebody, I guess. They find a broken dirt bike in a girl's garage and somehow repair it with parts that just appear, and they completely fix the bike by using flipping page wipes repeatedly.
Fortunately one of them is a professional dirt bike racer, and he wins the race. Then a very motionless Italian man threatens them and takes their money, which he says they will receive it they can beat him in combat. We're at the 48n minute mark and there has been no karate. This is how great this movie is.
A lengthy and confusing training montage begins, as one of them somehow found an Asian man in Greece who is a master of the martial arts and has nothing better to do than train a random obnoxious American who has appeared. He does all the typical training stuff and learns a special move, and it turns out that, surprise, he must use the special move to defeat his Italian nemesis. He wins, they use the money to go back home, to America.
The movie ends with the fat mullet head kid seeing the foreign limousine, literally running into it, and then getting beaten by its driver. His friends laugh as he is comically beaten to death. The end.
I cannot name a single character in this movie. I do not know who the protagonist was supposed to be. I do not know why the director hired a stunt coordinator who was either drunk or a zombie. The fighting scenes are absolutely horrendous, and punches land miles away from their target who flies backwards anyways. I do not believe this movie had a script. If it did, I would yell at the 12 year old who wrote it.
As you can expect, when they get to Europe they see a mermaid in a lake, and bring all their money and clothes to bathe naked and take photos of the mermaid so they can sell them to the news channels. Unfortunately the mermaid is actually a man in a wig, and an Italian man runs off with all their possessions. Because they are really stupid.
As you would expect, the fat mullet man pretends to be a tour guide and show Americans around Greece. It doesn't work, so they decide to get money from winning a dirt bike race. All these events and scenes make sense to somebody, I guess. They find a broken dirt bike in a girl's garage and somehow repair it with parts that just appear, and they completely fix the bike by using flipping page wipes repeatedly.
Fortunately one of them is a professional dirt bike racer, and he wins the race. Then a very motionless Italian man threatens them and takes their money, which he says they will receive it they can beat him in combat. We're at the 48n minute mark and there has been no karate. This is how great this movie is.
A lengthy and confusing training montage begins, as one of them somehow found an Asian man in Greece who is a master of the martial arts and has nothing better to do than train a random obnoxious American who has appeared. He does all the typical training stuff and learns a special move, and it turns out that, surprise, he must use the special move to defeat his Italian nemesis. He wins, they use the money to go back home, to America.
The movie ends with the fat mullet head kid seeing the foreign limousine, literally running into it, and then getting beaten by its driver. His friends laugh as he is comically beaten to death. The end.
I cannot name a single character in this movie. I do not know who the protagonist was supposed to be. I do not know why the director hired a stunt coordinator who was either drunk or a zombie. The fighting scenes are absolutely horrendous, and punches land miles away from their target who flies backwards anyways. I do not believe this movie had a script. If it did, I would yell at the 12 year old who wrote it.