M0KUJIN
Joined Aug 2004
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M0KUJIN's rating
I viewed UNBREAKABLE on the recommendation of a friend.
STUPID.
The movie was tedious from beginning to end. An exercise in ULTIMATE patience, which even the Dalai Lama would ultimately fail.
The movie starts off with the birth of a baby boy named Elijah (Samuel L. Jackson) but taking a closer look at him his arms and legs are broken for some reason, and through out life he gets the name Mr. Glass because he breaks easily. Fast forwarding to the present an unhappy married security guard named David (Bruce Willis) discovers that he is the sole survivor in a train crash and surprised he doesn't have a scratch on him, but when Elijah discovers David he is drawn to him, whilst David doesn't seem to be interested in what he is capable of. Seeing how the two are the opposite of each other Elijah talks about heroes, villains and comic books trying to..........Y'know what? F*CK IT! I cannot be ass'd explaining the shitty non-existent plot. The story starts off 'old man' slow, gets even slower and then just slips into a coma.
This movie is not worth renting, or even watching for F-R-E-E. I am totally serious. I didn't begin to write this review/opinion piece just to bring down the movie's rating but to inform the level-headed individuals of the world, as to how much of a steaming pile of elderly woman's turd UNBREAKABLE genuinely is.
Its a total excremental mess from the get go. The kind of movie you are glad not to have spent money about, but regret wasting your time with. I wonder how many people came out of a movie theater literally swearing about this ridiculously slow, inconclusive, mass of nonsense.
It's rare to see a film that has absolutely no redeeming qualities at all, but UNBREAKABLE achieves this with EASE.
Congrats Shyamalan.
Rant OUT!
STUPID.
The movie was tedious from beginning to end. An exercise in ULTIMATE patience, which even the Dalai Lama would ultimately fail.
The movie starts off with the birth of a baby boy named Elijah (Samuel L. Jackson) but taking a closer look at him his arms and legs are broken for some reason, and through out life he gets the name Mr. Glass because he breaks easily. Fast forwarding to the present an unhappy married security guard named David (Bruce Willis) discovers that he is the sole survivor in a train crash and surprised he doesn't have a scratch on him, but when Elijah discovers David he is drawn to him, whilst David doesn't seem to be interested in what he is capable of. Seeing how the two are the opposite of each other Elijah talks about heroes, villains and comic books trying to..........Y'know what? F*CK IT! I cannot be ass'd explaining the shitty non-existent plot. The story starts off 'old man' slow, gets even slower and then just slips into a coma.
This movie is not worth renting, or even watching for F-R-E-E. I am totally serious. I didn't begin to write this review/opinion piece just to bring down the movie's rating but to inform the level-headed individuals of the world, as to how much of a steaming pile of elderly woman's turd UNBREAKABLE genuinely is.
Its a total excremental mess from the get go. The kind of movie you are glad not to have spent money about, but regret wasting your time with. I wonder how many people came out of a movie theater literally swearing about this ridiculously slow, inconclusive, mass of nonsense.
It's rare to see a film that has absolutely no redeeming qualities at all, but UNBREAKABLE achieves this with EASE.
Congrats Shyamalan.
Rant OUT!
In "PATRIOT GAMES" (1992) Ford is.... the "everyman" good guy, who saves his family from the ruthless IRA. Family re-unites.
In "AIR FORCE ONE" (1997) Ford is.... the "everyman" good guy, who saves his family from cold-blooded Russian terrorists. Family re-unites.
In "FIREWALL" (2006) Ford is.... The "everyman" good guy, who's perfect family are kidnapped by a bad man.... good guy kills bad man at the end of the movie. Family re-unites.
Now, I maybe onto something here, and call me cynical, but there seems to be a pattern forming. Just when have we seen this process before?
This movie perfectly demonstrates exactly everything wrong with modern day Hollywood. Washed-up, has-been actor, lack of experience of the topic of the movie and the recycling of old movie B.S. plots and clichés.
If you're really a fan of - Mr. Harrison "GOTTA SAVE MY FAMILY YET AGAIN!" Ford, and want to actually sit through this chor of a movie, rent it (with someone else's money) first, or if you're desperate to purchase it, wait until you can find it in the garbage bins out back at the local Wal-Mart / Costco / Target store/s. As it is right now, it ain't worth $HIT.
Harrison Ford.....your career is OVER. The sentence is BOX-OFFICE DEATH.
Leading man no more.
In "AIR FORCE ONE" (1997) Ford is.... the "everyman" good guy, who saves his family from cold-blooded Russian terrorists. Family re-unites.
In "FIREWALL" (2006) Ford is.... The "everyman" good guy, who's perfect family are kidnapped by a bad man.... good guy kills bad man at the end of the movie. Family re-unites.
Now, I maybe onto something here, and call me cynical, but there seems to be a pattern forming. Just when have we seen this process before?
This movie perfectly demonstrates exactly everything wrong with modern day Hollywood. Washed-up, has-been actor, lack of experience of the topic of the movie and the recycling of old movie B.S. plots and clichés.
If you're really a fan of - Mr. Harrison "GOTTA SAVE MY FAMILY YET AGAIN!" Ford, and want to actually sit through this chor of a movie, rent it (with someone else's money) first, or if you're desperate to purchase it, wait until you can find it in the garbage bins out back at the local Wal-Mart / Costco / Target store/s. As it is right now, it ain't worth $HIT.
Harrison Ford.....your career is OVER. The sentence is BOX-OFFICE DEATH.
Leading man no more.
Mel Gibson plays a rural Pennsilvaniya farmer. A rural Pennsilvaniya farmer who doesn't do a single second of farming during the entire movie.
It gets worse.
Mel's mundane celibate existence is rudely interrupted when 7 foot furry green aliens, who fart at the wrists, decide to invade the planet...but more specifically, have set their nefarious EXTRA TERRESTRIAL sights on seeking "THAT" global strategic position that every nation on Earth is vying for...yup, that's right...RURAL "P-e-n-n-s-i-l-v-a-n-i-y-a". (sarcasm laden heavy sigh~~~~~~)
However these are no ordinary aliens. No sir! They've managed to travel billions of light-years through space, only to be stymied by the uber-complex technology of boards and nails that Mel has erected around his home.
Yes, a race of beings for whom water is as caustic as INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH ACID select as the target of their invasion a planet whose surface is no less than 70% covered by water, inhabited by beings whose bodies contain more than 90% water.
(Just how did they traverse through Mel's dew laden cornfields at night without being burned to a f**king crisp?!?!?)
The humans are no Einsteins either, the radio communications used by the aliens, easily picked up by a common baby monitor, somehow escape the higher tech scrutiny that you'd expect from the scientific community or the military. And where is the military? At no time are there big explosions from the usual response to a threat, oh, say invisible hostile alien spaceships hovering over major cities all around the world.
Nope, it's a "wait and see" approach here (maybe they were praying for rain). And what were the aliens going to do with the planet or us after we'd been conquered? A planet covered mostly by water,which is hardly an ideal vacation paradise for them is it? Perhaps they were going to tow it away and Ebay it. I dunno....and neither does M. Night Shymalan I bet.
Furthermore, keep in mind that human beings are made of mostly water, so these invaders can't exactly devour us, nor can they enjoy the pleasures of sex with us. So maybe they'll burn us as fuel. Or Ebay us. Given these aliens observed level of technical sophistication, you could suppose their spaceships might have been of the steam powered variety.
Of course, the Shymalan-fans-deep-in-denial are going to come back with howls of outrage that I "DON'T GET IT!". I can hear them now... "Dumbass! It's not about sci-fi or horror, it's about family, faith and spirituality!".
Nah....
It's a pathetically crap drawn-out hack written / directed drama pretending to be Sci-Fi. Both this movies alien attack plot and themes of faith and religion fall apart under the slightest bit of scrutiny (and I ain't even trying). SIGNS is another overly self important film by the most overrated HACKS of his time. Shyamalan fanatics and apologists will eat it up like excrement, while normal folks will retch violently and then upchuck.
Oh, did I happen to mention that the aliens fart at the wrists?
It gets worse.
Mel's mundane celibate existence is rudely interrupted when 7 foot furry green aliens, who fart at the wrists, decide to invade the planet...but more specifically, have set their nefarious EXTRA TERRESTRIAL sights on seeking "THAT" global strategic position that every nation on Earth is vying for...yup, that's right...RURAL "P-e-n-n-s-i-l-v-a-n-i-y-a". (sarcasm laden heavy sigh~~~~~~)
However these are no ordinary aliens. No sir! They've managed to travel billions of light-years through space, only to be stymied by the uber-complex technology of boards and nails that Mel has erected around his home.
Yes, a race of beings for whom water is as caustic as INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH ACID select as the target of their invasion a planet whose surface is no less than 70% covered by water, inhabited by beings whose bodies contain more than 90% water.
(Just how did they traverse through Mel's dew laden cornfields at night without being burned to a f**king crisp?!?!?)
The humans are no Einsteins either, the radio communications used by the aliens, easily picked up by a common baby monitor, somehow escape the higher tech scrutiny that you'd expect from the scientific community or the military. And where is the military? At no time are there big explosions from the usual response to a threat, oh, say invisible hostile alien spaceships hovering over major cities all around the world.
Nope, it's a "wait and see" approach here (maybe they were praying for rain). And what were the aliens going to do with the planet or us after we'd been conquered? A planet covered mostly by water,which is hardly an ideal vacation paradise for them is it? Perhaps they were going to tow it away and Ebay it. I dunno....and neither does M. Night Shymalan I bet.
Furthermore, keep in mind that human beings are made of mostly water, so these invaders can't exactly devour us, nor can they enjoy the pleasures of sex with us. So maybe they'll burn us as fuel. Or Ebay us. Given these aliens observed level of technical sophistication, you could suppose their spaceships might have been of the steam powered variety.
Of course, the Shymalan-fans-deep-in-denial are going to come back with howls of outrage that I "DON'T GET IT!". I can hear them now... "Dumbass! It's not about sci-fi or horror, it's about family, faith and spirituality!".
Nah....
It's a pathetically crap drawn-out hack written / directed drama pretending to be Sci-Fi. Both this movies alien attack plot and themes of faith and religion fall apart under the slightest bit of scrutiny (and I ain't even trying). SIGNS is another overly self important film by the most overrated HACKS of his time. Shyamalan fanatics and apologists will eat it up like excrement, while normal folks will retch violently and then upchuck.
Oh, did I happen to mention that the aliens fart at the wrists?