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bheyer

Joined Jun 2004
Self-employed, freelance writer, specializing in
screenplays. Currently working on a script
designed to be a joint project, with Elizabeth
Hurley & Joan Collins in mind.
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

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Reviews16

bheyer's rating
L'aube de l'apocalypse

L'aube de l'apocalypse

6.9
1
  • Feb 27, 2005
  • Laughable, Stupid, Implausible, Insipid, Dimwitted, Bordering on Soap Opera!

    Based on the previous reviews I read, here, I have to conclude that P.T. Barnum WAS right: "There IS a sucker born, every minute!" I served four years in SAC (Strategic Air Command), including a year-and-a-half at Offutt Air Force Base (Headquarters SAC, Omaha, Nebraska), and if ANYONE disobeyed orders, and behaved irrationally (like some of the "professionals" depicted in this awful, awful, awful movie did), they'd have been shot on the spot. Or, at least, we'd HOPE they would! MY GOD, the BAD acting in this movie, plus the BAD writing, the BAD production values (can you believe one reviewer on this board said, "top notch production values"? Yeah, based on WHAT, "Plan 9 From Outer Space"?!), the BAD special effects (on a level with the 60's TV series, "Batman," actually!) and the BAD direction, had me CRINGING in my seat! I quite literally HAD to watch this turkey to its unlikely conclusion, JUST TO SEE HOW BAD IT COULD GET! The ABSOLUTE WORST "acting" was perpetrated by the pilot, and co-pilot, of the B-52 crew (Powers Boothe and Rebecca De Mornay); DO you think the writer of this schlock could've had them on the same page, for at least two minutes??? I mean, one minute he (Boothe) is at her throat, and the very next minute he wants to "canoodle" with her! He calls her the BEST co-pilot he's EVER had, and a heartbeat later, he's giving her cyanide, and ordering her OUT of the cockpit! He (Boothe) engages in fisticuffs with another crew member, and later, THAT crew member ejects himself from the aircraft! JEEZE, at least Slim Pickens DIDN'T have THESE kinds of problems in the FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR superior, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb." In that classic, the B-52 commander (Pickens) ONLY had to contend with a malfunctioning A-bomb. Speaking of "Dr. Strangelove," one of the crew members from that earlier movie returns in this one: James Earl Jones. Man, HIS character is SUPPOSED to be a SAC-trained professional? He waffled, so much, I wanted to call him "Aunt Jemima!" You want to take MY advice, and the advice of a few other sane, rational and intelligent posters on this thread? SKIP this crud, and watch the vastly superior "Dr. Strangelove," and "Fail-Safe." Even "On The Beach," with Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner and Fred Astaire, for end-of-the-world scenarios. BOTTOM LINE: Even the spoof, "Airplane," with Leslie Nielsen (!!!), made more sense than this bottom-feeder did.
    5 femmes à abattre

    5 femmes à abattre

    5.3
  • Feb 21, 2005
  • The Biggest Waste of Time Since My Last Blind Date (Harelip, Clubfoot)

    I just purchased "Caged Heat," partly as a result of "reviews" that I read, here. Are you people ON drugs, or something? Are YOU substance abusers? All I can say is, AFTER watching it, I GOT ROBBED!!! It cost me $13.24 to buy the DVD, I feel like using it as a frisbee, now! WHAT, you get the distinct impression I didn't like the movie? Let me put it like THIS: If Ed Wood's, "Plan 9 From Outer Space," were pitted against Jonathan Demme's, "Caged Heat," for Best Picture of the Year, Ed Wood would walk off with the statuette, with Bela Lugosi on one arm, and Tor Johnson on the other! I don't care IF Leonard Maltin gave "Caged Heat" two-and-a-half stars, in his Movie & Video Guide. In the Special Features portion of the DVD, Maltin interviews the legendary Roger Corman (he refused to finance "Caged Heat," but he did distribute it), and Maltin kisses his posterior, up-one-side-and-down-the-other! Folks, I'm here to tell you that Leonard Maltin is a whore! IF you want to learn about BAD acting, BAD writing, BAD directing, BAD production values, BAD musical scoring, BAD sound, BAD cinematography, BAD costumes (WHAT costumes, the prison inmates ALL wear civilian clothes!) and BAD everything else, BUY or RENT (RENT is better!), "Caged Heat." I absolutely LOVE (ADORE!!!) Barbara Steele (she plays Warden McQueen), but she embarrassed herself by appearing in this insane piece of crud! NO STARS!!!
    L'Associé du diable

    L'Associé du diable

    7.5
    4
  • Jan 5, 2005
  • Yet Another Al Pacino "By The Numbers" Movie. All "Shtick" And CGI

    See all reviews

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