steveholdenmail's reviews

Been wanting to see this one ever since hearing Mark Kermode rave about it a few years ago and for anyone who enjoys 'occult horror' this brooding gem will tick many boxes.

It was obvious it was one of those films you absolutely had to be in the right frame of mind to watch otherwise it was never going to hit the spot.

So glad I managed to get myself in the right headspace to watch what can only be described as a psychedelic stroll through Ben Wheatleys' twisted imagination. Shot in black and white and with a constant almost nightmarish undertone this never gets above walking pace but always keeps you hooked.

The tent scene is incredibly unnerving and will probably stay with you for quite some time.

A Field in England is arguably a bit of a masterpiece and well worth a visit.

Flicking through Prime I came across this pleasant surprise.

Stacked full of clichés and corny dialogue this shouldn't be any good. But it's a good solid couple of hours entertainment.

Jason Statham keeps his side of the bargain putting in a very passable turn with his trademark 'cocky geezer' impression and is ably assisted by Paddy Considine as his 'straight laced' partner.

If you can see past the obvious plot holes you will be rewarded for your time.

This is no Oscar Winner, just a well put together piece of lightweight daft as a box of frogs bubblegum light entertainment.

Do yourself a favour, pour a cold one, turn off your phone, sit back and enjoy.

So if you're into time travel, special effects, explosions, action or super heroes then move on, there is nothing for you to see here.

However if your idea of enjoyment is top class acting, a perfect script, dark humour and endlessly quotable lines all served by an ensemble cast to challenge anything I've seen then you're going to love Glengarry Glen Ross.

Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey, Alan Arkin, Jack Lemmon, Jonathan Pryce, Ed Harris & a scene stealing all too brief appearance by Alec Baldwin means this will live long in the memory for all who hit 'play'.

It has you gripped and intrigued right from the off and you will not want to take a toilet or refreshment break.

Grab yourself your snacks and drinks, turn your phone off, sit back and enjoy.

Argylle is daft as a box of frogs....... Imagine... the combined offspring of The Kingsmen & LaLa Land..... directed by Ru Paul & Jackie Chan..... on acid.... laydeeez & gents I give you ARGYLLE! Daft as a box of frogs...... 2h 20m of 10/10 entertainment...... faaaaantastic....... I think you'll enjoy it......

It does exactly what it says on the tin...... it entertains. I've read plenty of negative comments but all seem to be missing the point completely.

And as for Henry Cavill being tipped to be the next Bond? Yup... give the guy the tux & the Walther PPK, fire up the Aston Martin and call off all bets. He looks the part and has the air of knowing cynicism to carry it off with absolute aplomb.

So my advice..... go see Argylle, enjoy yourself and pop into the bookies on the way home and splash your hard earned on Henry for the new 007. Simples!

Just watched this again to see if it was as bad as a remember and it did not disappoint, in fact it was immeasurably worse than I recalled.

Dreadful beyond belief, this Hollywood take on the whole 'hooligan thing' is hilariously acted out with laugh out loud references to 'rhyming slang', scarred Northern 'baddies' and the evil psychotic 'sarf landanna' Tommy Hatcher, oh and the slimy yank pantomime baddie Van Holden is definitely worth a mention too.

Anyone watching this and imagining the reality comes anywhere close is not from this planet.

A far superior but still ridiculous effort is The Football Factory. Green Street is just a dreadful film made for Yanks and failing dismally on every level.

I don't know finance, in fact I'm awful with numbers full stop. But this film lays it all out in a way that 'almost' makes perfect sense. Essentially bankers are ****ers (who knew?!).

Steve Carrell is brilliant, Christian Bale is as always perfectly cast (how does he do that thing with his 'glass' left eye??).

This film is as scary as it is entertaining as it is eye opening, but right from the get go it grabs you by the lapels, punches you in the stomach, kisses you on both cheeks and then pats you on the behind and tells you to have a lovely day.

A great couple of hours entertainment that you will not regret.

This 2nd installment of the M. I series is beyond belief. I mean absolutely atrocious. The first 30 mins is just a John Woo shampoo advert that makes Face Off seem acceptable and the remainder of the film? Well...... words just fail me.

From the opening rock climbing hilarity including a magnificent smouldering TC look into the camera to the appalling slow motion set pieces that litter this tripe from start to finish, all full of TCs flowing locks and a hilarious motorcycle chase including mid-air homo erotic ballet and you have the very worst of the M. I franchise.

A plot as mad as the proverbial box of frogs with plot holes big enough to sail the USS Nimitz through (see what I did there?) but nonetheless pure unchallenging bubblegum entertainment.

Great film.

As corny as they come but absolutely perfect entertainment. It's almost a pantomime with cartoon like baddies, ballsy damsels in distress..... and the hunky handsome Prince.

Tongue in cheek, great set pieces, perfect dialogue....

More please!

Was genuinely looking forward to watching what I had been led to believe was a bonefide classic. What a huge disappointment. Dreadful acting, appalling dialogue and just boring beyond belief. Dont believe the hype, this is utter rubbish.

And this is just confirmation of what British TV is still capable of. Gritty, gut-wrenching, brilliantly written and stunningly acted out. Stephen Graham as always put in a prize winning performance but Sean Bean is the stand out in this one.

Every now and then you stumble across a genuinely pleasant surprise.

Palm Springs is one of those perfect Sunday afternoon films that you can just sit back relax and enjoy. Daft as a box of frogs but entertaining as hell.

The point at which the 007 franchise finally reached rock bottom. Just appalling.

....Night entertainment!

Just a great couple of hours spent eating takeaway and supping a cold one. Great acting, Clintwood at his miserable growling best. A few tongue in cheek stereotypes add to experience and some genuinely amusing set pieces make this great viewing.

...how sad, nevermind!

Having heard so much about this one i had high hopes, but ultimately what a huge disappointment. For two thirds the build up is promising, a few jumps and all fairly standard fayre but then it falls off a cliff in spectacular fashion. Essentially just turns into a huge Poltergeist rip off with none of the shtick, originality or humour of the 80s classic.

Avoid....

They don't come any closer to a perfect film than this one. Within the first 2 minutes you'll be totally hooked... and then just feel the tension slowly slowly rise. JK Simmons is unbelievable.

Film film making, perfect acting..... just perfect.

What a load of overblown, tedious, pretentious, boring, poorly acted, atrociously sung and appallingly choreographed rubbish.

By the time the credits rolled there was a collective and audible sigh of relief around the room.

Apparently a classic..... good grief.

....but almost worth the wait. But the one thing this isn't is a horror film, its a psychological thriller at best. Well worth a watch but I'd hardly call it a masterpiece.

Almost faultless throughout. Unexpected twists and turns as you'd expect with a touch of the text book Cronenberg 'graphic gore' added in for good measure. Harris is sinister, VM is cool and Hurt is, well..... Just watch it for yourself.

Some decent acting and enough of a story to make it well worth watching but British Made still somehow falls short of being anything more than just a bit 'meh'.

As close to the source material as any 2000AD fan could wish for. Karl Urban is perfect as Dredd right down to the perpetually upturned mouth with the set pieces right on the money. Stallones effort was an insult, this film is the polar opposite.