Mihnea_aka_Pitbull
Joined May 2004
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Mihnea_aka_Pitbull's rating
As if the mindless carousel of moronic violence in "Rambo IV" wasn't enough, poor Sly really made a point to show us that if he really wants to make a retarded movie, he's up to it anytime! Definitely, this is one of the most amateurish, boring, irritatingly dumb flicks we ever saw. The scenario is simply an exercise in olygophrenia. An obsolete type of story devoid of any originality and logic, awkwardly knitted together, as if there was no such thing as screen writing, with its rules to learn and apply.
Further, the directing is slow-paced, bumbling, unable at least to communicate in a coherent way the so-called "story". Instead of "characters", we have a bunch of lifeless mannequins, with no identity or personality, mixing together in a ridiculous saraband of gratuitous brutality. As if by accident, most of them are played by some performers whom we remember for really good roles, in some old movies. Among the top-most moronic blunders of this "movie", one could mention the "Stallonian sling" (a childish unworking version of the "Tchekhovian gun"): Mr. Church (Bruce Willis' character) warns Sly at the beginning: "Don't try to take the money and run, because me and my people will find you!" - and this is about all! Not even by accident such an occurrence is brought again to the audience mind - for certain, till the end, Sly forgot that he put it there! (The same as he forgot that it's the same thing that he did to the audience: he got their money and ran away, without delivering anything else but another unprofessional and bad taste piece of trash. And, of course, the title: these is no such thing as "expendable heroes" here (as, for instance, in "Rambo II" or "The Losers"). They are simply idiotically invincible and, as such, sent to slaughter a whole army as if it was made up of faulty puppets.
Further, the directing is slow-paced, bumbling, unable at least to communicate in a coherent way the so-called "story". Instead of "characters", we have a bunch of lifeless mannequins, with no identity or personality, mixing together in a ridiculous saraband of gratuitous brutality. As if by accident, most of them are played by some performers whom we remember for really good roles, in some old movies. Among the top-most moronic blunders of this "movie", one could mention the "Stallonian sling" (a childish unworking version of the "Tchekhovian gun"): Mr. Church (Bruce Willis' character) warns Sly at the beginning: "Don't try to take the money and run, because me and my people will find you!" - and this is about all! Not even by accident such an occurrence is brought again to the audience mind - for certain, till the end, Sly forgot that he put it there! (The same as he forgot that it's the same thing that he did to the audience: he got their money and ran away, without delivering anything else but another unprofessional and bad taste piece of trash. And, of course, the title: these is no such thing as "expendable heroes" here (as, for instance, in "Rambo II" or "The Losers"). They are simply idiotically invincible and, as such, sent to slaughter a whole army as if it was made up of faulty puppets.
A really worthy piece of entertainment, honest and true for all ages and all types of (intelligent) audience. It has the sparkle of good-taste parody, full of referential puns that really make it into a panoramic mirror of the James Bond-type of movies in the last decades. Definitely, the best joke is the name of Kitty Galore (inspired by the innocently-obscene Pussy Galore in "Goldfigner") - but the top quality fun abounds all over. It really shows what means cinematic excellence. One should also point out the ridiculous rating it got on this doubtful scale of values that the present flock of mindless voters gregariously endeavors to put up. Not surprising at all, considering the astronomic ratings of some of the sickest pieces of trash one ever saw on screen (including the other one I reviewed today). But, thankfully, real valor and quality will always turn up - no matter the frivolous tastes of all this mindless bunch.
It's a pleasant surprise, to see that a blockbuster's sequel can be also made in a honorable way. The first "Iron Man" was in itself a pretty good movie in the superhero genre - and the second one stands true to the trend. The conflictual premises of the protagonist are correctly structured, and the general setup, with the political and global background, is way better than in many of the other similar movies.
It's true that the antagonist, played by Mickey Rourke, is somewhat sketchy and short-spanned - but the good news is that the character leads to a valid final confrontation, that also deserves laurels for the smart and resourceful ways of combining all the elements - the hacking angle being the most generous of all. Unfortunately, less can be said about Hammer, an improbable caricature, and about the simplistic satire around the politicians. The target is the right one, but the means to touch it, too cheap.
The photography and the visual effects, of course, are commendable, although the narrative rhythm might be lacking here and there, mainly in the first third of the story - more precisely, up to the Monaco incident, that is masterfully shot. All in all, it delivers, so it would be unfair to demand more. Good thing that the superhero action movie are also able to offer great entertainment - at least, from time to time.
It's true that the antagonist, played by Mickey Rourke, is somewhat sketchy and short-spanned - but the good news is that the character leads to a valid final confrontation, that also deserves laurels for the smart and resourceful ways of combining all the elements - the hacking angle being the most generous of all. Unfortunately, less can be said about Hammer, an improbable caricature, and about the simplistic satire around the politicians. The target is the right one, but the means to touch it, too cheap.
The photography and the visual effects, of course, are commendable, although the narrative rhythm might be lacking here and there, mainly in the first third of the story - more precisely, up to the Monaco incident, that is masterfully shot. All in all, it delivers, so it would be unfair to demand more. Good thing that the superhero action movie are also able to offer great entertainment - at least, from time to time.