Darkweasel
Joined Feb 2003
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Darkweasel's rating
A biker gang stumble across a satanic cult holed up in an EVIL CHURCH. Using drugged wine and bread shaped like giant biscuits, the cult send the gang to sleep and possess one of the female members, turning her into a werewolf.
If I learned anything from Werewolves on Wheels (surely a contender for the best film title ever) is that being a biker in the early '70s was clearly HILARIOUS. When the gang aren't beating up rednecks, stealing gas, or shagging each other, laughing at absolutely everything everywhere definitely seems to be the best pastime. Look! A gas pump! HA HA HA!! Hey, a tree! HAAAAAA!!! Beer!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SATANISTS IN ROBES!!! WOOOOO!! HAHAHAH! And so on and so forth.
The laughter stops briefly when, after waking up, the gang walk into the EVIL CHURCH and beat up all the satanists. They're quickly giggling and guffawing like children again though, stopping only the next morning when they discover two of their friends have been savaged by something bitey. Soon enough, as expected, everyone's laughing again. Well, everyone with the exception of their hippiest member, Tarot. See, Tarot's figured out something's not quite right and in his best hippy language tries to warn their leader, Adam, about it - "that was no accident. It was heavy. Somebody's controlling the vibes".
Adam's having none of it though and the laughter quickly turns to fisticuffs. Fisticuffs turn into a serious kicking, and then a serious kicking quickly escalates into a fireside werewolf battle before the remaining gang members decide to go back to the EVIL CHURCH and kill the cultists. ONLY THE CULTISTS ARE ACTUALLY THEMSELVES. Yeah, it was the '70s, people. Hallucinogenic drugs were in plentiful supply and endings to Bikersploitaiton films didn't have to make any sense.
Not that you'd believe it by reading this, but Werewolves on Wheels actually has an awful lot going for it. It's fun, it moves along at a nice pace, and it's even pretty well acted in places. Not to mention the werewolves, tits, and sexy naked snake dancing. It also has quite possibly the funniest Satanic ritual ever filmed. After killing a cat (cue funny death screech) and doodling something in blood while saying a load of evil-sounding mumbo jumbo, cult leader "One" (Severn Darden from the final two original Planet of the Apes movies), ad-libs like a boss, mumbling something along the lines of "rabadabadabadadamabarambarambararararabbabadada" and hoping for the best. The thing is, being the early '70s, he probably got away with it.
The soundtrack is excellent, some moody guitar based country for the title theme with a couple of other similar tracks along the way. And whether it's a recommendation or not, Rob Zombie clearly loves the film as he used a line of dialogue at the start of his song, Sick Bubblegum.
"Hey, we all know how we're gonna die, baby. We're gonna crash and burn".
If I learned anything from Werewolves on Wheels (surely a contender for the best film title ever) is that being a biker in the early '70s was clearly HILARIOUS. When the gang aren't beating up rednecks, stealing gas, or shagging each other, laughing at absolutely everything everywhere definitely seems to be the best pastime. Look! A gas pump! HA HA HA!! Hey, a tree! HAAAAAA!!! Beer!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SATANISTS IN ROBES!!! WOOOOO!! HAHAHAH! And so on and so forth.
The laughter stops briefly when, after waking up, the gang walk into the EVIL CHURCH and beat up all the satanists. They're quickly giggling and guffawing like children again though, stopping only the next morning when they discover two of their friends have been savaged by something bitey. Soon enough, as expected, everyone's laughing again. Well, everyone with the exception of their hippiest member, Tarot. See, Tarot's figured out something's not quite right and in his best hippy language tries to warn their leader, Adam, about it - "that was no accident. It was heavy. Somebody's controlling the vibes".
Adam's having none of it though and the laughter quickly turns to fisticuffs. Fisticuffs turn into a serious kicking, and then a serious kicking quickly escalates into a fireside werewolf battle before the remaining gang members decide to go back to the EVIL CHURCH and kill the cultists. ONLY THE CULTISTS ARE ACTUALLY THEMSELVES. Yeah, it was the '70s, people. Hallucinogenic drugs were in plentiful supply and endings to Bikersploitaiton films didn't have to make any sense.
Not that you'd believe it by reading this, but Werewolves on Wheels actually has an awful lot going for it. It's fun, it moves along at a nice pace, and it's even pretty well acted in places. Not to mention the werewolves, tits, and sexy naked snake dancing. It also has quite possibly the funniest Satanic ritual ever filmed. After killing a cat (cue funny death screech) and doodling something in blood while saying a load of evil-sounding mumbo jumbo, cult leader "One" (Severn Darden from the final two original Planet of the Apes movies), ad-libs like a boss, mumbling something along the lines of "rabadabadabadadamabarambarambararararabbabadada" and hoping for the best. The thing is, being the early '70s, he probably got away with it.
The soundtrack is excellent, some moody guitar based country for the title theme with a couple of other similar tracks along the way. And whether it's a recommendation or not, Rob Zombie clearly loves the film as he used a line of dialogue at the start of his song, Sick Bubblegum.
"Hey, we all know how we're gonna die, baby. We're gonna crash and burn".