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themightymartin

Joined Jan 2003
Born in a small paper bag on the east side of the Thames, I was bought up by my father, a sewer rat, and my mother, a fourteen-year-old prostitute with attention deficiency disorder. At fourteen I ran away to join the circus where they put me in a freak show as "Bagboy", due to my natural instinct to find the smallest paper bags I could and curl up in them. After a few years I decided to go out and seek my fortune, so naturally I ended up working at Sainsburys.
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themightymartin's rating
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead

7.9
  • Apr 14, 2004
  • Belly Laughs and Body Bags

    Oz: Un monde extraordinaire

    Oz: Un monde extraordinaire

    6.8
  • Dec 27, 2003
  • The dark side of the rainbow

    I saw for the first time when I was about 8 years old but didn't remember much about it. The BBC showed it just before christmas and as I watched all my memories came flooding back.

    Return to Oz was the first horror film I ever saw. That's right... HORROR film. This film is so damn dark and, at times, almost unbearably scary!

    Anyone expecting Judy Garland to come dancing across the screenwith Toto at her heel is in for a real shock with Return to Oz. Munchkins, living trees and Emerald City folk have been replaced with men made out of stone (Nomes), a witch who can swap heads (Mombi) and freakish things with wheels for hands and feet (Wheelers).

    As you can tell, Oz has changed. The Nome King has conquered the kingdom and imprisioned the Scarecrow King and, you've guessed it, it's up to Dorothy to save the day.

    Many of the characters are similar to the characters in the original film and book. There's Bulina the talking hen (toto), Jack Pumpkinhead (The Scarecrow), Tik Tok (The Tin Woodsman) and some sort of Mooses head attached to a sofa(The Cowardly Lion, and you really have to see the film to understand).

    Overall, Return to Oz is a fantastic film. It pretends to be a kids film but I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone under the age of 10. In fact there are many scenes which I'm suprised got past the censors at all. Watch it to find out what I'm talking about.
    Knightmare

    Knightmare

    8.1
  • May 19, 2003
  • Top 10 most memorable Knightmare rooms

    10. The Antechamber. This is the room where Treguard, his assistant and the advisers would spend the entire quest, watching over the dungeoneer.

    9. Level 1 Clue Room. Consisted of a table with several objects on it, of which the dungeoneer could only take a maximum of 2, and usually a wall monster who would ask the dungeoneer a question or two before they were allowed to take any objects.

    8. The Room of Choice. Usually the first room in the dungeon. A rotating disc with four doors with logos above them. Adventurers would have to choose which quest to go for out of the crown, the goblet, the shield and the sword.

    7. Smirkenorff's flight. Not really a room as such, but as the series went on and the adventure branched out beyond the confines of the dungeon a new method of travelling between levels 1 and 2 was required (in earlier series this involved the dungeoneer climbing into a well). Smirkenorff was a large friendly dragon who would fly dungeoneers between the two levels, for a small fee.

    6. The Catacombite room. A large chamber containing a gigantic monster. The Catacombite was a large skull with two massive legs made of bone. Id the dungeoneer came into contact with this terrifying (well, terrifying when you're seven years old) monster it would mean instant death.

    5. Merlin's Chamber. Basically exactly how it sounds. A large-ish room with walls lined with books and a chair in the middle. Adventurers would have to work out how to summon Merlin, who would then give them magic in return for them answering a few riddles.

    4. The Cogs of Doom. Timing was of major importance when crossing the cogs of doom, as the path only stayed intact for a few seconds. Advisors would have to guide the dungeoneer across two giant cogs without him/her falling into the pit below.

    3. The Beast's Stomach. Perhaps the most disgusting room. Sometimes a dungeoneer would somehow end up swallowed by a snake or another monster and not die. Instead they would come here. There is only one way out of this place (well, two ways I suppose, but we won't go into that) and the adventurers would have to work out how to give the monster an "upset stomach". This usually involved throwing salt down or rubbing the stomach lining with soap.

    2. Causeways. There were hexagonal blocks reaching across a large chasm. The blocks would have symbols or numbers on them to tell the adventurers which blocks were safe to step on and which would send them plummeting downwards into oblivion. Usually the dungeoneer would have been told the proper combination earlier, in exchange for giving a character an object, answering a riddle or through the use of a spyglass. The combinations often ranged from the relatively easy (earth, fire, wind, water) to the insanely hard (removing a piece of a shape in each tile to work out which way it was pointing). Needless to say, many dungeoneers failed thanks to these devilish rooms.

    1. The Corridoor of Blades. Imagine this: You're standing on a conveyor belt heading down a narrow corridoor. Suddenly, a large circular buzzsaw sticks out of the wall to your left. You narrowly miss it by jumping out the way, then find you have to dive underneath another one that has suddenly appeared on the right. Now imagine you're doing this blindfolded and are relying on three panicky fools to warn you when and where the blades are coming, and you have The Corridoor of Blades.

    In my opinion these are the most memorable rooms in the history of Knightmare. You may disagree, if so then why don't you post yours up here as well?
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