dave_last-edition
Joined Jan 2009
Welcome to the new profile
We're still working on updating some profile features. To see ratings breakdowns and polls for this profile, please go to the previous version.
Badges2
To learn how to earn badges, go to the badges help page.
Ratings100
dave_last-edition's rating
Reviews2
dave_last-edition's rating
A wild 2 headed Sharpedo appeared. It used pixelate. It's not very effective ...
Suddenly, after about one minute, a vicious two-headed shark shows its teeth and consumes two innocent babes as if they were his hors d'oeuvre. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for 90 minutes of the most preposterous nonsense ever recorded on film.
In fact there is not even much to say about total failure number twenty thousand of 'The Asylum'. Really stiff dialogues, lousy acting, miserable directing, hopeless CGI, SFX and the typical, but equally desperate storyline. However, this time there are no scientists or special agents involved. The shark is only confronted with a boat of voluptuous and muscular students, who, of course, parade happily with their breasts and biceps, but ultimately only let the vocal cords work.
It can be said that the shark is essentially a young, healthy man, with an immaculate interest in the female sex, even though he presents himself at times as a juvenile peeper. But, generally it doesn't take long before he comes trotting with a whopper of an opening line, and starts courting the giggling girls. A lasting relationship, however, is not an option.
We know by now that our friends from 'The Asylum' aren't very pragmatic in approach, but of all the plot holes there is only one that I can not fathom. If that shark has two heads, then why didn't Carmen Electra have four breasts? Food for thought.
Suddenly, after about one minute, a vicious two-headed shark shows its teeth and consumes two innocent babes as if they were his hors d'oeuvre. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for 90 minutes of the most preposterous nonsense ever recorded on film.
In fact there is not even much to say about total failure number twenty thousand of 'The Asylum'. Really stiff dialogues, lousy acting, miserable directing, hopeless CGI, SFX and the typical, but equally desperate storyline. However, this time there are no scientists or special agents involved. The shark is only confronted with a boat of voluptuous and muscular students, who, of course, parade happily with their breasts and biceps, but ultimately only let the vocal cords work.
It can be said that the shark is essentially a young, healthy man, with an immaculate interest in the female sex, even though he presents himself at times as a juvenile peeper. But, generally it doesn't take long before he comes trotting with a whopper of an opening line, and starts courting the giggling girls. A lasting relationship, however, is not an option.
We know by now that our friends from 'The Asylum' aren't very pragmatic in approach, but of all the plot holes there is only one that I can not fathom. If that shark has two heads, then why didn't Carmen Electra have four breasts? Food for thought.
2010: Moby Dick is another Asylum production that is based on a well-known novel. I assume everyone knows the name of that novel, since the makers of this horrendous picture only added the useless '2010' to the title. If Melville, the writer of the 19th century novel had known this eventually would have ended up in the claws of The Asylum, he'd never written it of course.
A film that is way ahead of its reputation. A very dull 'monstermovie' that has nothing positive about it. Lousy acting, stupid script & ditto adaptation and a highly incompetent director. Not to mention the extremely cheap SFX. The eye of Moby Dick for instance, looks like it ran away out of a Nintendo 64.
I feel truly sorry for O'Connor, who, after years of duty as Gabrielle in Xena:Warrior Princess', has sunk to this level.
2/10
A film that is way ahead of its reputation. A very dull 'monstermovie' that has nothing positive about it. Lousy acting, stupid script & ditto adaptation and a highly incompetent director. Not to mention the extremely cheap SFX. The eye of Moby Dick for instance, looks like it ran away out of a Nintendo 64.
I feel truly sorry for O'Connor, who, after years of duty as Gabrielle in Xena:Warrior Princess', has sunk to this level.
2/10