glamberson-2

Well, that was a total waste of time. I knew better than to get my hopes up, but I allowed the optimism of friends to infect me. I'm not sure what makes this a "reboot" instead of just another sequel, because it isn't another adaptation of Clive Barker's novella "The Hellbound Heart." I couldn't care less that there's a new Pinhead, or that she's a woman now. Works for me. But this movie was a full two hours long and when it didn't need to be, and it was the DARKEST movie I've ever seen in my life, darker than the darkest episodes of GAME OF THRONES and HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. "Watching" it was like listening to a radio drama. It sounded like the story and performances were okay, but totally wasted by the cinematography and color grading. I turned off the lights, closed the curtains, nothing helped. Even the daytime exteriors were too dark, with sunlight! I stopped paying attention after 90 mins. Then in the last THREE MINUTES there was LIGHT, and I could finally see the CGI at work. Total. Waste. Of. Time.

This low budget indie reminded me of LOVERS AND OTHER STRANGERS and other minor 70s comedies with ensemble casts that are largely forgotten today. There's no star power, but several of the supporting actors do a good job - Scott Rubin (who also wrote and co-directed, Mel Gorham, Josie Di Vincenzo, and John Patrick Patti - and show real comic skills. The central concept is funny, but a little patience and forgiveness may be required to see it through. Not an ideal. Not an ideal vacation like THE WHITE LOTUS, but worth the trip in my opinion: a diamond in the rough. Support indie film! Apparently my review is "too short," and I have to keep writing so I haven't wasted my time. Another film this reminds me of is NEXT STOP, GREENWICH VILLAGE. Remember that one?