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Michael_John

Joined Dec 2003
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We're still working on updating some profile features. To see the badges, ratings breakdowns, and polls for this profile, please go to the previous version.

Reviews2

Michael_John's rating
To Catch a Yeti

To Catch a Yeti

2.1
  • Jul 6, 2004
  • Like slowly being dipped in feces...

    Folks, I am a movie buff. Not just that, I am a BAD MOVIE buff. And a Tolkien nerd. Therefore, few are as worthy to comment on this movie as me, Captain Worthy-riffic.

    This is the single worst piece of art ever.

    I have seen 'The Stupids'. I have the scene where Christopher Lee says 'Release the Drive Bee' on my computer. I have graphed Costner's slow decline into the abyss. My Jamaican roommate and I have had many discussions into the actual net-worth of Billy Baldwin, and found that we could pawn him on the black market for several Eagles, if both the Eagles and the Eagle-seller didn't know what a movie was. But we can all agree, there is not a work in humanity worse than 'To Catch a Yeti'.

    Granted, it tries hard, although I have assumed it was made by a sadistic epileptic ferret, the only explanation. I can forgive the fact that you can see the strings controlling the Yeti, which was almost certainly bought in the discount bin at K-Mart. I can forgive the fact that you can see the outline of a city building in the background of the scenes where the explorers are in the Tibetan mountains. And I can forgive the fact that I am considering dropping out as an English major, because any language that can take it up the tailpipe with dialogue like this probably won't survive much longer.

    BUT I CAN"T FORGIVE THE HALF AN HOUR WHERE THE HUSBAND OF THE HOME ON ANY-STREET USA BERATES HIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE THINKS THEY STOLE HIS PUMPKIN PIE. MAY DEATH FIND THIS MAN SLOWY, PAINFULLY, AND PREFERABLY IN THE TALONS OF A MAJESTIC EAGLE.

    Remember Folks,

    Do not meddle, In the affairs of Dragons. For you are crunchy, And taste good with catsup.
    Le Seigneur des anneaux : Le Retour du roi

    Le Seigneur des anneaux : Le Retour du roi

    9.0
    10
  • Dec 17, 2003
  • Holy Frigging Crap!

    It's awesome. To those of you who haven't seen it on the first day yet, it's awesome. That's all I need to say.

    Well, maybe I would have liked to see Gandalf blow up something, but just for fun, not as part of the film.

    Wow.

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