Bastard_Christ
Joined Dec 2003
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.
Badges2
To learn how to earn badges, go to the badges help page.
Reviews1
Bastard_Christ's rating
Ok, first of all, this b-movie is very very bad. I don't know what kind of a retarded bunch of lobotomized apes could ever conceive this utter sh*t, but what the hell, what's done is done, and I'm here to review this piece of crap.
The film starts with this prologue with a corny voiceover and Star Wars like words against a space backdrop (the voice and the words aren't even synchronized!) The story is very lame, basically telling about the war between Lucifer and God and how Lucifer is banished to hell, and then comes this Eye of Satan (or what have you) which supposedly frees the Devil and his demons so that they can enslave mankind (Is it just me or does this sound like Lord of the Rings)
Anyways, we cut to some place in a CGI Middle East where archaeologists dig for this eye of satan, something goes wrong when some very typical Islamic terrorist (which is a white guy, funny eh?) shoots a coupla scientists. The gate of hell is opened and a bunch of demons are released (They look like a cross between Predator AND Alien, not the kind of demons I had in mind)
The whole movie is just about how 2 macho marines and a female scientist (funny that they are always young twenty-something females with big tits) kill the demons.
This movie is terrible, but not a complete waste of time though, because there are some scenes which will leave you rolling on the floor laughing, such as the rapping devil and the black marine ripping each other off, funny how most of the demons and the monsters act like foul-mouthed thugs (there was a lot of "yeah i'm gonna F**k your daughter like how I f**ked the Blair Witch) The end of the movie is completely ludicrous and amusing, but I won't give it away.
The CGI in the movie is amongst the worst I've ever seen in any film, mini-series, pc game or flash animation. Some of the stuff could be done on microsoft paintbrush, but this altogether adds to the humor when you point out its utter trashiness. At some point (or most) I feel really bad for the director for creating this, or anyone involved for...umm, getting involved. But in the end it was a joyous experience. I give it a * out of *****, i would have give it a 0 if it didn't make me laugh this hard, which this film succeeded in doing.
ps. can't believe i wrote so much for this crap.
The film starts with this prologue with a corny voiceover and Star Wars like words against a space backdrop (the voice and the words aren't even synchronized!) The story is very lame, basically telling about the war between Lucifer and God and how Lucifer is banished to hell, and then comes this Eye of Satan (or what have you) which supposedly frees the Devil and his demons so that they can enslave mankind (Is it just me or does this sound like Lord of the Rings)
Anyways, we cut to some place in a CGI Middle East where archaeologists dig for this eye of satan, something goes wrong when some very typical Islamic terrorist (which is a white guy, funny eh?) shoots a coupla scientists. The gate of hell is opened and a bunch of demons are released (They look like a cross between Predator AND Alien, not the kind of demons I had in mind)
The whole movie is just about how 2 macho marines and a female scientist (funny that they are always young twenty-something females with big tits) kill the demons.
This movie is terrible, but not a complete waste of time though, because there are some scenes which will leave you rolling on the floor laughing, such as the rapping devil and the black marine ripping each other off, funny how most of the demons and the monsters act like foul-mouthed thugs (there was a lot of "yeah i'm gonna F**k your daughter like how I f**ked the Blair Witch) The end of the movie is completely ludicrous and amusing, but I won't give it away.
The CGI in the movie is amongst the worst I've ever seen in any film, mini-series, pc game or flash animation. Some of the stuff could be done on microsoft paintbrush, but this altogether adds to the humor when you point out its utter trashiness. At some point (or most) I feel really bad for the director for creating this, or anyone involved for...umm, getting involved. But in the end it was a joyous experience. I give it a * out of *****, i would have give it a 0 if it didn't make me laugh this hard, which this film succeeded in doing.
ps. can't believe i wrote so much for this crap.