imdb-2920's reviews

And it just goes downhill from there. What's astonishing is that the writer and director, Dean Craig, is credited this year for writing a movie I enjoyed, The Estate. He also wrote Death at a Funeral a few years back, which was solid. What the actual hell, Dean?

Everything the first reviewer said is true. This is a painfully terrible film with stock jokes, stock characters, and actors with no chemistry. If there were to be an article in the New York Times in a month about how the script was written and characters were selected by an AI that had ben fed a corpus of sub-5-star films, I wouldn't be surprised.

There are, of course, worse films out there. I'd like to congratulate the continuity staff for ensuring that the characters wore the same clothes from scene to scene. Also everyone involved remembered the plot all the way through.

Wolf hound? You'll be the one howling with laughter at this thing. Come for the gigantic brass star of David pendants apparently all Jewish flight crew were issued. Stay for the big plastic swastika flag melting.

This flick ticks all the cliché boxes: We've got a creepy scientist who looks like a cross between the Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark and Gollum. We've got the now-obligatory Black soldier(s) and French resistance woman. We've got a guy yelling "nooo" when someone gets shot in slow motion, with the surrounding firefight thoughtfully remaining silent for a minute so dying guy can say his last words. We've got a big musclebound Nazi who strips down to his wifebeater for the big fight scene. We've got a guy saying "This ends now" and "Let's finish this."

We've got so much modern language going on ("brainstorm"? Really?), that you expect the evil commandant to bust out a "Hashtag Jews be bad, yo."

Four stars for the story managing to hold together and for the effort the Nazi officers put into sucking in their cheeks to have cheekbones.

Technically excellent and wonderful special effects, but seriously, they should have cut at least 50 minutes from this thing. I have utterly failed to care about a chick going through life like a Rooma hitting baseboards.

Tried to make a movie and this was the result. If you're a fan of lousy community theater and plots that make no sense, this is the movie for you!

If only the scriptwriter put half as much effort into the script as these shill reviews.

Having actually worked in NYC publishing in 1995, we stopped watching after an hour because the protagonist is a naïve dumbass and her boyfriend is a lazy stereotype. The only interesting character is played by Sigourney Weaver, and even that is so over-the-top as to be ridiculous.

Four stars for the production. It's beautifully filmed, but the characters are garbage.

I like these cheeseball Christmas moves. I'll watch a few minutes here and there before I go to sleep. This is the first one this year in which I checked the time, wondering just how much was left in this terrible thing and it was half over. Ugh. I jumped ahead to the end.

Okay, the obvious. A travel writer who doesn't go to a strange town with an open mind. Also, she takes a random train to get there as opposed to renting at car at the airport. Sure, being dependent on the dude to take you to the B&B gets the action started, but it's unrealistic. And shall we talk for a moment about her boss who sent her there because she needed her Christmas Mojo restarted?

And the dude. What's going on with the prole worker denim jacket? Not a single other person in the town dresses like that.

A town that's so pathetic that they care what some random travel writer writes.

"Santa" at the inn laughing at nothing throughout the movie. I seriously thought he was supposed to be mentally disabled until he actually spoke a few sentences at the end. Huh. I guess the movie did have a twist ending after all.

I actually checked IMDB to see if I had downloaded one of those Royal Engagement Wedding Christmas Dognapping films by mistake. The initial story sort of made sense, running as a First Lady in conjunction with the single president. But then there's this castle and a king and I'm wondering where in the world that came from. And then the king, who apparently loves costumes, is somehow just allowed to slouch around the White House and I'm out.

This would have been a one-star review, but I tossed in an extra for the "hot" opposition wife with the fake dog who has more strings on her neck than a guitar. Very brave casting.

Dumb premise for a story, utter ignorance of how writing and publishing works, and the story just falls apart in the last half hour.

Y'know how some movies are so bad they're good to make fun of? This isn't one of them. Don't waste your time.

I knew this movie would have everything I hate about "mystery/thriller" films. The obligatory psychiatrist who gets sucked into her patient's reality, the obligatory creepy-ass kid, and the obligatory unreliable narrator storyline, but I was an idiot and decided to watch it based on the shill reviews. What a steaming load. I could have spent this time doing something more rewarding, like scrubbing bathroom grout with a toothbrush.

The cinematography is nice, but you've seen this film a million times since the '70s. This version doesn't do anything any better, although you can entertain yourself trying to decide if the creepy-ass kid is a boy or a girl.

I downloaded this movie because I wanted to know how a film with this subject could really have a 2.7 rating. I mean this thing must be garbage from start to finish, right?

Wrong. I mean it's not perfect, relies too much on drugs to provide character transitions between acts, and could use some editing, but it's fun to watch this collection of unlikable characters pretend to get along. It's even better when they just stop trying. There are a few excellent lines and funny scenes.

If I were going to write some sort of essay I'd probably write about how both of the primary male characters are both control freaks, but in completely different ways. Happily, though, I'm not in school so can just enjoy watching them be jerks.

FYI, every 10-star review for this movie is the only review posted from that IMDB account. Nice try, shills.

If you like contrived family drama, whitebread characters living dreary lives in sterile McMansons, and big setups with no payoff, consequences, or resolution, this is the movie for you!

Sue Schaffel (a low-budget Fran Drescher) provides intermittent entertainment with her inconsistent accent. Coming in second is the mole on Anna Fagan's cheek, which appears and disappears from scene to scene. Chris Kozlowski manages to make no impression whatsoever. I hope everyone else got college credit or hours stuck off their community service sentences for participating.

It's an okay movie, but compared to the usual "o noes we have to save Christmas" garbage out there this is a masterpiece. The movie has bits that are much more clever than one would expect to find in a family friendly Christmas movie. Unfortunately, it runs out of momentum before the climax, and the obligatory resolution and reveal of the sitcom lie feels even more forced than these things usually are.

1. The most successful GenXers are drunk all day, every day.

2. When you turn 45, you're not going to look remotely like you did when you were 18.

3. Wives who aren't blonde are miserable.

4. Wussy "nice guys" aways wear a gingham shirt.

5. If you increase the amount of time you spend buzzed by half an hour per day every year, eventually you can be buzzed all your waking hours.

6. Lines paraphrased from "Some Kind of Wonderful" sound really pathetic when coming from middle-aged actors.

7. When one bad boy taunts another, if the victim doesn't get angry, it's because he's recording it all on a cell phone.

8. 45-year-olds still care about whose daddy is richer, even when daddy is dead.

Too many actors plod their way through this interminable wannabe ripoff of Magnolia. I don't blame them--the acting was adequate (aside from the imaginary friend, who was obviously getting paid by the expression), but every scene dragged in this drama wankfest of clichés.

The entire film could have been cut by 25% without losing anything. Did the actors not sense the lack of chemistry of the scenes? Was the director playing video games on his phone while the dialog clomped along to the inevitable?

The "surprise" endings were as implausible as a homicide detective bothering to pull over a speeder or a client threatening a hitman to negotiate a price. Ugh.