ZevII

I know this is going to sound preposterous, but try to imagine a politician who is completely incompetent. An idiot. A total buffoon. That is the story of Sen. Melvin G. Ashton, played by William Powell.

Ashton, planning for a career after being a senator, decides that the only other job he's qualified for is to become president. He seeks the job not just for himself, but for the benefit of all the relatives he has on his payroll. Through the movie, he quickly shows the wisdom he has picked up from his years in office with lines like, "If you can't beat 'em, bribe 'em!"

Ashton commences on a coast-to-coast tour to announce that he is NOT running for president and take some courageous stands on issues ("Ashton is against inflation, against deflation, for flation.") The villainess in the movie is a reporter played by the fetching Ella Raines, who vows to kill Ashton's campaign by quoting him accurately.

For some reason, the party leader doesn't want Ashton to be president. However, Ashton has kept a diary through the years that detail the shenanigans of other politicians and he's ready to use it as blackmail. The only problem is he loses the diary, and then the search is on to find it, by both party people that want to destroy it and others that want to publish it.

The people who will like this movie best are the ones that enjoy light comedies. I absolutely loved it. After seeing it, I'm sure you'll join Steven Colbert in asking, "Melvin G. Ashton: Great senator or greatest senator?"

I'm a horse racing fan, so I enjoyed seeing the color footage of the Churchill Downs and Keeneland racetracks from the 1950s. The footage they used for Glory's Kentucky Derby was from the 1955 Derby, when Swaps and Bill Shoemaker beat Nashua and Eddie Arcaro in one of the all-time great matchups.

Aside from the peak at history, the story is so hokey that it makes "Leave It To Beaver" seem like a gripping reality series. It's one of those really campy movies where you might want to invite some friends over, pump 'em full of beer, and have fun laughing at how bad the plot, dialog and acting are.

Call it "Plan Nine From Churchill Downs."

It's like the filmmakers watched "The Last Action Hero" and copied every overused cliche. The suave GQ villain, the stupid authority figures, the expendable cops that blindly rush head-first into death, the supermodel/assassin, the hero that outruns an explosion and survives when the villain talks instead of shoots--they're all there.

In place of suspense, they just blow up something every 2.3 seconds.

Lucy Liu shows the artistic range of Lurch.