Thomas_Neville_Servo
Joined Oct 2003
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Thomas_Neville_Servo's rating
"Non-stop action" is what all the reviews said, neglecting to mention that said action is poorly choreographed with awful beats/rhythm, shoddy CGI blood and gore, stunt guys waiting to get hit, and hits that so clearly aren't connecting.
The action scenes - the supposed draw of this crapfest in the first place but that actually slow the film down - are a complete slog, a poor excuse to watch a bunch of nameless, identity-less idiots play at massacring each other with razor blades, machetes, billiard balls, air conditioners, sides of frozen beef, shards of glass, firearms, grenades, etc. All follow the exact same routine: 1) room full of baddies grabs some weapons and run at the good guys, 2) closest baddie takes obviously slow and wide swing that in no way would hit the good guy even if the good guy did absolutely nothing, 3) baddie knows he's finished after one bad swing, but does nothing (doesn't retract his arm or leg, no attempt to dodge good guy's telegraphed finishing move, nothing) as he waits for the good guy to give him a vivisection or a lobotomy, 4) rest of the baddies follow suit ad nauseum. They are wholly uncreative, without impact or meaning, and are, again, poorly staged and executed.
By the end of the film, I just wanted everybody to die - because everybody deserved it. They are all insanely stupid characters who speak in growls and inhabit a film whose director's attempts at myth-building are a complete and utter joke. There is no story. There is no characterization. There are no motivations to be found anywhere. It's not a film FOR children, but it is definitely a film made BY children - children who still giggle at the word "wee-wee" and think that 2 hours of macho posing and screaming makes for a cool movie. If you honestly think that this juvenile stunt reel somehow qualifies as a solid action film, then all I can do is ask: How the heck old are you? Have you honestly even seen other action/martial arts films? Hong Kong was churning out films that bested this by a mile 30 years ago. Seriously, expand your horizons and stop watching crap like this.
The action scenes - the supposed draw of this crapfest in the first place but that actually slow the film down - are a complete slog, a poor excuse to watch a bunch of nameless, identity-less idiots play at massacring each other with razor blades, machetes, billiard balls, air conditioners, sides of frozen beef, shards of glass, firearms, grenades, etc. All follow the exact same routine: 1) room full of baddies grabs some weapons and run at the good guys, 2) closest baddie takes obviously slow and wide swing that in no way would hit the good guy even if the good guy did absolutely nothing, 3) baddie knows he's finished after one bad swing, but does nothing (doesn't retract his arm or leg, no attempt to dodge good guy's telegraphed finishing move, nothing) as he waits for the good guy to give him a vivisection or a lobotomy, 4) rest of the baddies follow suit ad nauseum. They are wholly uncreative, without impact or meaning, and are, again, poorly staged and executed.
By the end of the film, I just wanted everybody to die - because everybody deserved it. They are all insanely stupid characters who speak in growls and inhabit a film whose director's attempts at myth-building are a complete and utter joke. There is no story. There is no characterization. There are no motivations to be found anywhere. It's not a film FOR children, but it is definitely a film made BY children - children who still giggle at the word "wee-wee" and think that 2 hours of macho posing and screaming makes for a cool movie. If you honestly think that this juvenile stunt reel somehow qualifies as a solid action film, then all I can do is ask: How the heck old are you? Have you honestly even seen other action/martial arts films? Hong Kong was churning out films that bested this by a mile 30 years ago. Seriously, expand your horizons and stop watching crap like this.
By the title of my review, you might think I would chide films for imitating Hollywood out of some sort of reverence for the latter, but that couldn't be farther from the truth as Black House's imitation is its ultimate downfall. Being a fan of Korean cinema and having seen the original film (Kuroi Ie from Japan), I was disappointed to find that director Shin Terra basically removed the deeper aspects of psychology from the story and chose instead to focus on developing the plot along in the most basic of manners.
At the beginning of the film, insurance agent Jun-oh is drawn into a complex web of death, dismemberment, and deceit as he suspects the apparent suicide of a client's son was not suicide at all. What would seem like simple insurance fraud grows into something much more sinister as Jun-oh encounters a true psychopath. But where the film goes wrong is in focusing on Jun-oh and his generic, last-minute back story rather than on the nature of a psychopath. Let's face it, Jun-oh the character is not interesting in the least. He goes through no changes throughout the film and his immovable belief in humanity at the end of the film is all the more laughable and ridiculous after the graphic horrors he witnesses. Sure, as you say, the killer is just like you. They just like to rip the heads off of dogs and cut people into little pieces. But they're just like you. Where Kuroi Ie goes right in this aspect is first depicting the psychopath from the very beginning of the film. You know who you're dealing with, so the whole movie carries a tense atmosphere. Black House, on the other hand, chooses to go the red herring route with an oh-so-obvious red herring and oh-so-obvious culprit. The ultimate revelation for Jun-oh is neither surprising nor shocking. Kuroi Ie scores here in a second manner by depicting the psychopath with a true disconnect, a real sense of going through life without a care, rather than as a bland and boring caricature TRYING to act like a psychopath.
In the end, Black House tries to differentiate itself from the stale output of vengeful ghost films, but it falls instead into the generic thriller camp. Too stupid to be scary, and too boring to be intelligent. Couple all that with a cheesy, tacked-on ending about the cycle of violence and you've got yourself the worst kind of film - one that thinks its being artsy.
At the beginning of the film, insurance agent Jun-oh is drawn into a complex web of death, dismemberment, and deceit as he suspects the apparent suicide of a client's son was not suicide at all. What would seem like simple insurance fraud grows into something much more sinister as Jun-oh encounters a true psychopath. But where the film goes wrong is in focusing on Jun-oh and his generic, last-minute back story rather than on the nature of a psychopath. Let's face it, Jun-oh the character is not interesting in the least. He goes through no changes throughout the film and his immovable belief in humanity at the end of the film is all the more laughable and ridiculous after the graphic horrors he witnesses. Sure, as you say, the killer is just like you. They just like to rip the heads off of dogs and cut people into little pieces. But they're just like you. Where Kuroi Ie goes right in this aspect is first depicting the psychopath from the very beginning of the film. You know who you're dealing with, so the whole movie carries a tense atmosphere. Black House, on the other hand, chooses to go the red herring route with an oh-so-obvious red herring and oh-so-obvious culprit. The ultimate revelation for Jun-oh is neither surprising nor shocking. Kuroi Ie scores here in a second manner by depicting the psychopath with a true disconnect, a real sense of going through life without a care, rather than as a bland and boring caricature TRYING to act like a psychopath.
In the end, Black House tries to differentiate itself from the stale output of vengeful ghost films, but it falls instead into the generic thriller camp. Too stupid to be scary, and too boring to be intelligent. Couple all that with a cheesy, tacked-on ending about the cycle of violence and you've got yourself the worst kind of film - one that thinks its being artsy.
As the saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out." What do you get when you combine a hack director, silly story, annoying lead, and amateur choreography? You get a profoundly bad movie. Coming on the heels of other equally bad movies such as Dynamite Warrior, Tom Yum Goong, and Born to Fight, Chocolate is meant as another showcase for contemporary Thai action film-making sensibilities. But together, they are the Hanna-Barbera in the world of action cinema, films so bad, unoriginal, and repetitive that they take action cinema BACK to the dark ages.
Comparisons to Hong Kong action cinema abound, but whereas the classic films of Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, and others have charisma to spare as well as a keen sense of visual action, Chocolate suffers from a frankly stupid story with an untalented, annoying lead who has a voice so harsh you could sand wood with it. Skilled in martial arts she may be, but you wouldn't know it by the uninspired choreography which mainly consists of her doing a bunch of standing kicks, few acrobatics, and wire-assisted stunts while the stunt performers (the real stars of the film) go flying, trying their best to act like they're actually getting hit. I'm all for women kicking butt, but this girl is no Michelle Yeoh or Cynthia Khan. Watching her is about as exciting as watching Sarah Michelle Gellar try to do karate in Buffy.
What's really sad about this film is that the action scenes actually slow down the film. Hong Kong filmmakers knew that action scenes allowed for an enormity of inventive film-making possibilities, from camera angles to editing to stunts. While Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong displayed minute amounts of creativity, Chocolate just abandons originality in favor of mundane action set to bland techno music. To the person who commented that this film is near on par with Bruce Lee's films, I advise you to actually watch his films. The comparisons that you mention between this and Lee's The Big Boss are purely visual in nature, mostly relating to set design. That's a weak comparison. Bruce Lee imbued his films with a deep, underlying philosophy about life and humanity. Chocolate and director Prachya Pinkaew engage in crass commercialism and populism.
Check this out only if you're really desperate for something to watch. Otherwise, check out the classic Hong Kong action films for some real action film-making.
Comparisons to Hong Kong action cinema abound, but whereas the classic films of Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, and others have charisma to spare as well as a keen sense of visual action, Chocolate suffers from a frankly stupid story with an untalented, annoying lead who has a voice so harsh you could sand wood with it. Skilled in martial arts she may be, but you wouldn't know it by the uninspired choreography which mainly consists of her doing a bunch of standing kicks, few acrobatics, and wire-assisted stunts while the stunt performers (the real stars of the film) go flying, trying their best to act like they're actually getting hit. I'm all for women kicking butt, but this girl is no Michelle Yeoh or Cynthia Khan. Watching her is about as exciting as watching Sarah Michelle Gellar try to do karate in Buffy.
What's really sad about this film is that the action scenes actually slow down the film. Hong Kong filmmakers knew that action scenes allowed for an enormity of inventive film-making possibilities, from camera angles to editing to stunts. While Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong displayed minute amounts of creativity, Chocolate just abandons originality in favor of mundane action set to bland techno music. To the person who commented that this film is near on par with Bruce Lee's films, I advise you to actually watch his films. The comparisons that you mention between this and Lee's The Big Boss are purely visual in nature, mostly relating to set design. That's a weak comparison. Bruce Lee imbued his films with a deep, underlying philosophy about life and humanity. Chocolate and director Prachya Pinkaew engage in crass commercialism and populism.
Check this out only if you're really desperate for something to watch. Otherwise, check out the classic Hong Kong action films for some real action film-making.