gregkae

A horrifically disfigured man in New York City gets a magical medical makeover, transforming him into someone moderately attractive. He ditches his old life and takes on a new identity - because who's gonna deny him that? The real twist: not a single likeable character in sight. Not even the cat. Honestly, it's impressive how thoroughly unpleasant this entire world is. For something billed as a dark psychological comedy, it's shockingly light on both psychology and comedy. Instead of a dark and twisted, we get painfully awkward - and not the fun, cringe-laugh kind. If there were jokes, they must've slipped into a witness protection program, because I didn't see them. Three stars for Sebastian Stan and the photography.

Teenagers in space. I wish I was joking. An amalgamate of regurgitated ideas from the whole franchise, only with no flair, no vision, no drive, no originality, and no respect for the source material. Dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. Stripped of suspense and basic logic and humour.

How did it get a rating above 0 only IMDb knows. Gordon Ramsay wouldn't e able to save this recipe from disaster.

Poor little alien is not scary any more than an animatronics gorilla. It's been aptly and irreversibly castrated at the root. We watch with abandonment its demise. An unworthy successor for generation Z and alpha.

This is truly one of the vilest and meanest shockers I have ever submitted myself to. 'Human Centipede' is a children's fable full of warmth at this point.

All actors are portraying simpleton morons, even Tom Skerritt has been castrated clean at the base. Aside from nothing going on, there is constant gibberish of drag-queeny women who lost their last two braincells to hairspray fumes.

Sugary soundtrack treacles through the scenes. Syrupy facial expressions, stripped dialogue delivered with wonky accent, cutesy, sappy outfits seemingly from a bygone era play violin to the molassy colour palette. What's with the teased up hair, are they hiding stash in them? This got an Oscar for the amount of saccharine ever used in a movie I guess, can't see any other rational explanation. The tension came from waiting for this dollish Shelby character to kick the caramel filled bucket, so it had some build-up. Stay away or you'll be wide awake with the lights on for most of the nights of the rest of your life trembling in fear of seeing an unexpected atrocity like this again, pink shellack claws on a chalk board sound creeping up on you from the distance.