girlafraid-2

Obviously people here do not "understand" cinema. This is one of the most luminous pieces of celluloid (I mean VHS) master pieces to have ever graced my grocery store shopping cart. The 99 cents I spent on this movie was too cheap a price to pay. I payed 99 cents for poor martial arts action from a middle aged goon whose love of his students get's the better of his judgment. So that's like 90 cents for action, 5 cents for drama, 3 cents for making sense, and that leaves one cent left for Thumper. With names like, "Thumper" how can you go wrong. The opening sequence is wonderful and deliciously shot poorly. The chase scene was incredulously long and very anti-climactic. It involved, cars, bikes, and chainsaws, running through the woods and streams. Don't forget all of the poorly executed stunts. This movies charms it's way into your heart via the phrase "I don't see no anchor tied to your ass boy!" and all of the obligatory "crotch" grabbing sequences. I mean, The Instructor grabs so many testicles in the first fight alone! How can that not be awesome. He dodges bullets, fights goons with swords, and through poor editing seamlessly kicks a guy off a motorcycle (that's probably the best scene, aside from the ninja picking his nose). It is well worth a watch. It made me laugh harder than any other honest attempt to make a martial arts film, ever, from a guy that looks like the Instructor. Through it's poor acting and editing it makes me yearn for the days of America Ninja 4, when Micheal Dudekoff was way too "good" to be in any subsequent sequels since American Ninja 2. Oh, the glory of '83. Instructor, I say "Thank You!" for Instructing....me....how to....um....laugh...or something. that's a ten baby, for Jawsome!