lor_
Joined Jul 2001
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lor_'s rating
A truly embarrassing script & dialogue (undoubtedly written by Joe Sarno himself) signals the condescending silliness of this erotic fantasy, coming near the end of his career when Sarno directed so many no-budget quickies. Trademarks of the crummiest of sets, transition scenes of the cast walking down the sidewalks of Queens, crappy music used over & over, plus ridiculous overacting are all present.
Rick Savage gets the Razzie award for his portrayal of a Lithuanian mad scientist (replete with thick phony accent) making fun of the cliches of old "Frankenstein" movies. He even does a little "Igor" the hunchback impression to boot.
He and fellow crazed scientists Heather Hunter, Siobhan Hunter and Robert Bullock are all driven sexually crazy by tiny Tami Monroe in the title role. She's supposedly the Swedish "daughter of the high priestess of the Moon", a descendant of the Vikings. Siobhan found her working in a Queens soda shop, and Savage zaps her with 10,000 volts to create a low-budget sex goddess who likes to walk around topless.
With no special effects budget, she manages to zap the cast into an erotic frenzy, enough to generate five lousy sex scenes. If Sarno thought this was going to turn out funny, he was wrong.
Rick Savage gets the Razzie award for his portrayal of a Lithuanian mad scientist (replete with thick phony accent) making fun of the cliches of old "Frankenstein" movies. He even does a little "Igor" the hunchback impression to boot.
He and fellow crazed scientists Heather Hunter, Siobhan Hunter and Robert Bullock are all driven sexually crazy by tiny Tami Monroe in the title role. She's supposedly the Swedish "daughter of the high priestess of the Moon", a descendant of the Vikings. Siobhan found her working in a Queens soda shop, and Savage zaps her with 10,000 volts to create a low-budget sex goddess who likes to walk around topless.
With no special effects budget, she manages to zap the cast into an erotic frenzy, enough to generate five lousy sex scenes. If Sarno thought this was going to turn out funny, he was wrong.
Fred Lincoln took this porn-parody quite seriously, and with an A-list cast got fine performances in what amounts to be a sequel/homage to the Bogie classic "Casablanca".
John Leslie is suave in the Bogart role, as owner of Dick's Cafe, where piano player Samantha (Angel Kelly) tells us the tale of his adventure there in 1946. Just after the war, the story deals with stolen atomic secrets, with Joey Silvera as Pepe entrusting the plans to Leslie for safekeeping.
Unscrupulous types including Paul Thomas (in the Claude Rains role) and Buck Adams affecting a German accent as an ex-SS captain, are vying for the plans. Nina Hartley plays Inga, the Ingrid Bergman role, and she reminisces with Leslie about their romance years before in Tangiers (rather than Casablanca).
John Leslie is suave in the Bogart role, as owner of Dick's Cafe, where piano player Samantha (Angel Kelly) tells us the tale of his adventure there in 1946. Just after the war, the story deals with stolen atomic secrets, with Joey Silvera as Pepe entrusting the plans to Leslie for safekeeping.
Unscrupulous types including Paul Thomas (in the Claude Rains role) and Buck Adams affecting a German accent as an ex-SS captain, are vying for the plans. Nina Hartley plays Inga, the Ingrid Bergman role, and she reminisces with Leslie about their romance years before in Tangiers (rather than Casablanca).
Starring the beautiful Crystal Breeze, John T. Bone's movie is one of innumerable porn flicks based on standard industry propaganda. The straight, mainstream world is corrupt, while pornography represents freedom of expression for its workers -that's how the XXX party-line goes.
Here, the idiotic dialogue of a tongue-in-cheek script plus soap opera acting makes it clear from the outset that the message is phony and not meant to be taken seriously. Crystal Breeze is not ashamed to be a porn star (named Crystal Blue), but her sister Tiff Storm is heartbroken to see her having sex on screen. By the end of this movie, TIff is illogically having sex with porn producer Ron Jeremy in order to get a part in one of his movies.
Crystal decides to go straight and asks her buddy Samantha Strong to help her get a job. Sam goes to her uncle to find that job and ends up (again illogically) humping Dan T. Mann, one of unc's vice presidents. The uncle is played smugly by Steve Drake, as a total sleazeball (predating Elon Musk by a few decades) who constantly humps his busty secretary Buffy Davis and boasts about dumping toxic waste. He's meant to symbolize the world outside of porn, a ludicrous caricature.
I suppose Bone, who made a handful of mainstream movies ("Hindsight" is a personal favorite of mine) alongside hundreds of gonzo junkers, is entitled to make fun of his profession, but this one is ridiculous.
Here, the idiotic dialogue of a tongue-in-cheek script plus soap opera acting makes it clear from the outset that the message is phony and not meant to be taken seriously. Crystal Breeze is not ashamed to be a porn star (named Crystal Blue), but her sister Tiff Storm is heartbroken to see her having sex on screen. By the end of this movie, TIff is illogically having sex with porn producer Ron Jeremy in order to get a part in one of his movies.
Crystal decides to go straight and asks her buddy Samantha Strong to help her get a job. Sam goes to her uncle to find that job and ends up (again illogically) humping Dan T. Mann, one of unc's vice presidents. The uncle is played smugly by Steve Drake, as a total sleazeball (predating Elon Musk by a few decades) who constantly humps his busty secretary Buffy Davis and boasts about dumping toxic waste. He's meant to symbolize the world outside of porn, a ludicrous caricature.
I suppose Bone, who made a handful of mainstream movies ("Hindsight" is a personal favorite of mine) alongside hundreds of gonzo junkers, is entitled to make fun of his profession, but this one is ridiculous.
