andrewgage

I watched Burlesque! because my manager at work thinks it's a great movie, and he plays the soundtrack at work. All. The. Time. So much for his taste. Ugh. I mean, even being familiar with the music didn't help me enjoy this lame dog.

Like the title of my review says, it's 42nd Street (with all of the catty remarks) meets Showgirls (with all of the catty remarks) with a dollop of Moulin Rouge tossed in for good measure (insofar as the filming goes) in some seedy Hollywood back alley (with all of the hookers).

Another reviewer said it more succinctly: There's 2 hours I'll never get back. 'Nuff said.

Look, I've seen a lot of bad movies in my day, and at least this one is watchable. It's definitely a low budget production and it shows in the details which we're supposed to ignore. Like, in an old house that hasn't been lived in for a long time there are modern stone countertops and plumbing fixtures in the kitchen. And a coiled up hose in front. And that the furniture is new. And the blue recycling container at the end of the driveway. We're not supposed to notice those things that the art director had to work around. For people like me who absorb everything in the background, that takes away from the story's authenticity, like putting a 1962 automobile in a movie that is set in 1956.

Other than that I liked it enough to watch it all the way through.

If ever a movie was made for Mystery Science Theater 3000, Kronos, Ravager Of Planets is it. It's one of those so-bad-it's-good films. So bad,in fact, that even Wade Williams doesn't own it. It's campy, ridiculous, ultra-low-budget, scientifically challenged (their computer is named SUSIE, for Synchro Unifying Synometric Integrating Equitensor. A few of those words don't even exist in the English language.), and yet, it's got a storyline that, if re-written with better dialog and action, and updated for the current times, could be a good contemporary science fiction movie. I recall two scenes from the film, which I saw as a child, and perhaps that nostalgia contributes to my enduring love of it. Another thing about Kronos is the set design. OMG!!! Dr. Eliot's office at Lab Central is filled with fun mid century things. Take special note of the lighting fixtures, which are all high end and very trendy for the time. There's also a great big, swanky clock designed as a starburst inside of a ring hanging in the lobby hallway. And the background painting of the observatory is something to behold.

Pay attention to the shadow of the helicopter blades when the scenes cut to the inside of the helicopter and tell me if you think that whirlybird could stay in the air.

Barbara Lawrence (who could pass as Beverly Garland's sister) gives the best performance in the film, IMO. Morris Ankrum, who played a judge on many episodes of Perry Mason, delivers an OK performance and a slightly bigger name than his male cast mates. The rest, well, they give the movie its character.

Watch the movie and decide for yourself, if it's the BEST sci-fi movie of the 1950's, or if it's the WORST (in a good way).