andymras
Joined Jul 2001
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andymras's rating
Golan-Globus were shameless ripoff artists of the 80s who could take a formula from a successful film then turn it into atrocious cinema. How anyone outside of the third world could have been suckered into seeing Jungles Raiders, instead of Raiders of the Lost Atk, from which most the whole concept comes, is beyond me.
Bela Lugosi was to Ed Wood, what Lee Van Cleef is to this film the only recognizable actor, past his prime but clearly content to collect a paycheck for the grandkids. For the most part the rest of the actors were Italian hacks whose dubbing is almost (but not quite) laughably bad. My favorite feature of the looping is what would appear to be a rule: all actors that are onscreen at any given moment must be talking or at least making utterances. Never mind that their mouths may now be closed, or that there is no reason for them to be talking they are gonna make some noise and there's nothing you can do about it.
It's like bad porn, where the girl is moaning with her mouth shut (or occupied). Furthermore, these Italians must go to the School of Gusto Laughs where all male actors are taught to end all dialog lines with a hearty pirate's laugh. Just watch it could make a good drinking game.
In a nutshell, however, this movie is bad with a capital A. Not bad enough to be good, as I had hoped, but just plain bad. No story (and the story elements there are are taken directly from Raiders of the Lost Ark), no acting lots of action with no motivation or reward in the last 20 minutes of the film.
Although some companies take great pains to maintain the quality of their film stock archives, noone should shed a tear if the entire Golan-Globus stock were to go up in flames tomorrow. The shelfspace is worth more.
Bela Lugosi was to Ed Wood, what Lee Van Cleef is to this film the only recognizable actor, past his prime but clearly content to collect a paycheck for the grandkids. For the most part the rest of the actors were Italian hacks whose dubbing is almost (but not quite) laughably bad. My favorite feature of the looping is what would appear to be a rule: all actors that are onscreen at any given moment must be talking or at least making utterances. Never mind that their mouths may now be closed, or that there is no reason for them to be talking they are gonna make some noise and there's nothing you can do about it.
It's like bad porn, where the girl is moaning with her mouth shut (or occupied). Furthermore, these Italians must go to the School of Gusto Laughs where all male actors are taught to end all dialog lines with a hearty pirate's laugh. Just watch it could make a good drinking game.
In a nutshell, however, this movie is bad with a capital A. Not bad enough to be good, as I had hoped, but just plain bad. No story (and the story elements there are are taken directly from Raiders of the Lost Ark), no acting lots of action with no motivation or reward in the last 20 minutes of the film.
Although some companies take great pains to maintain the quality of their film stock archives, noone should shed a tear if the entire Golan-Globus stock were to go up in flames tomorrow. The shelfspace is worth more.