Reviews
And Punching the Clown (2016)
Can't seem to get it right.....
When I first heard about 'Punching Henry' I did not know quite what to expect.
The theme of a 'can't-get-anything-right-everyman' has been tried, and not all attempts have been successful.
Then I saw 'Punching Henry.'
In the context of a guy's attempt at fame and art, everything he did, except for one thing, somehow worked against him (I will leave out the 'one thing' so as not to spoil it for those on the fence.)
The timing was right; the pace was spot on; the humor was there; and the inevitability of it all, from the two cabs to the wrong turn off the elevator, and everything in between, worked.
I'd recommend this for anyone who has wondered 'What does it take to make it in the entertainment industry?' and, more importantly, 'Just how many wrong turns can my career take?'
Take This Waltz (2011)
There's a phrase that fits....
....and it is the four-year-female-feral-sexual-cycle.
Evolutionary biology equips us (for better or worse) with an ingrained memory of a short life, and an even shorter reproductive cycle.
Back in the caveman-and-cave-woman days, women would reject their mates roughly four years after the 1st offspring; the reason is quite simple: the need to avoid congenital defects.
(Let me be the 1st to admit that I'm not a biologist or a psychologist, but I have read a little about the phenomenon. And let's not forget that culture matters - society-wide, the concept of life-long marriage, a general disdain for divorce and the need to raise children with both parents have pretty clear purposes, but the notion of 'falling out of love' has its roots in the four-year-female-feral-sexual-cycle.... furthermore let's also keep in mind that some men really can be jerks, but that's not the case here).
This plays out in 'Take This Waltz.' Margot has been married to Lou for five years, meets a dark, handsome stranger and all-of-a-sudden finds there are 'gaps' in her life.
She then feels somewhat guilty about leaving her husband, but by the end of the movie we see how effective that guilt really was.
Michelle Williams did a great job as Margot, and Seth Rogen, surprisingly, was not a jerk, but a sensitive guy who simply cannot read his wife's mind.
I give it an 8 out of 10, because it really does put women in a less-than-flattering light (most TV and a not-a-few movies follow the 85% rule - since women make or influence 85% of consumer purchases, never portray a woman as anything less than perfect and avoid showing men in a sympathetic light); hats off to the director for a 'warts-and-all' approach to portraying partners in a relationship.
Uchû senkan Yamato 2199 (2012)
How to properly reboot a series
I remember the day in late August (maybe early September) of 1979 that I caught 'Star Blazers' on WNYC TV (before Fox became Channel 5 in my area) and I was immediately hooked. Simply nothing else like it was available on TV or in theaters at the time (Star Wars was re-released earlier that year but ESB was next year, and The Flannel One's creation was not a regular TV series).
Fast forward three decades and now the animated series is rebooted (due to the popularity of the live-action movie).
Despite some flaws (I won't get into them here; too nit-picky, some would say) this is simply the BEST reboot of any series that I have seen. I have caught 22 of the 26 episodes. Each episode, most of which had counterparts in the original series (some differ greatly but remain consistent) tells another dimension of the story, and all of it adds up. I cannot wait for the final four.
The characterizations are stronger, the movement and image crispness are a wonder to behold. Kudos to Studio Xebec. The design of the EDF and Gamilon capital ships, as well as the fighters, bombers and other small vehicles (many of which were lifted from or inspired by the original series) are EVERYTHING that I wanted in a reboot of 'Star Blazers/Yamato.' I can't say this enough: this series is ripe for a competent Hollywood adaptation. It's a combination of Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Saving Private Ryan and M*A*S*H with the musical theatricality of Les Miserables (thankfully there are no song and dance routines, but the music is awesome).
If you have not had the chance to view it, do so immediately. If you are a fan of Star Wars or the re-booted BSG, you will enjoy it. And, if you are a fan of the original, either the Japanese version or the American 'Star Blazers,' you owe it to your self to sit down, and spend 22 minutes per evening - one episode per night until the series is complete - for the ride of a lifetime.
The New Guy (2002)
Not entirely there....
...but not entirely missing either.
It had its moments, and it sagged in some areas.
The Patton scene was funny; but DJQ shrieked a little; Ed Rollins as the tattooed warden was funny; Tony Hawk's appearance gave me a chuckle.
Dollar$ to Donut$ the script was written (and re-written, and re-written) some time in the 1990's....don't ask me why I think that.
I could watch Eliza Dushku impersonate Richard Nixon, and DJ Qualls should probably spend some time in a gym (so the ladies could have some eye-candy). The Cheer Leader squad was amazing to look at.
I liked the idea of the transformation via jail cell, and the homage to Dr. H. Lecter was amusing too.
I had too much to drink tonight so don't be surprised that I am rambling.
All the best, peace out!
The Polar Express (2004)
Destined to be called 'Classic'
This one goes right up there with FROSTY the SNOWMAN and RUDOLPH the RED NOSED REINDEER.
I had heard a great deal about the movie before I saw it, so I had some high expectations; when I finally got to see it, I was blown away.
Years from now, children will beg their parents to watch it ONE MORE TIME, and if the studios have any common sense, they will re-release it during upcoming holiday seasons.
I can only hope that Chris Van Allsburgh is hard at work on another story, in a similar vein, with the same creativity that he brought to this one.
A Dirty Shame (2004)
Worst movie of the 21st Century
I saw this Friday night with some friends and I am convinced that it would be cinematic ally impossible for Hollywood (or anywhere else, for that matter) to produce a movie as, for lack of a better term, putrid as this. Sexuality centered humor can work if done right. "Dirty Shame" is a shining example on how to get it wrong in every capacity. If I had to select any phrases to describe "Dirty Shame" they would be: aimless (where were they going with this?), irrational (people do not act this way, not even in Charles Manson's worst nightmares), scatological (I will never be able to think of the phrase 'double-decker' IN ANY CONTEXT without getting sick again), humorless (I could not laugh @ anything in this movie, which for me is rare), over-the-top (I can't remember any actors who refrained from screaming their lines), logic-free (nothing suspended my disbelief). In short, I only wish that I had received an invitation to a goat sacrifice instead of this movie. That would have been more fun.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Does Whatever a Spider Can...
'Spiderman' exceeded my expectations; Spiderman2 is a worthy continuation of the story; certainly more depth than the first. I was always a fan, and I had hoped that Hollywood's treatment would be well done; I was not disappointed. For the 1st movie to be successful, the lead had to be believable not only as Spiderman but also as Peter Parker. Tobey Maguire did an outstanding job. The supporting characters also made the movie; where would Spiderman/Peter Parker be without MJ? Any movie with a bad match would be just like Luke w/o Lord Vader; Cookies and Cough Syrup; Ice Cream and Broccoli; Catholic school and excitement. All in all, terrific movie; even superheroes get into a rut!
S.W.A.T. (2003)
Multiple Head Scratching
I saw the movie today, and I just can't help but wonder one thing: Some of the characters names in the movie were IDENTICAL to the names in the TV SHOW (Street, Hondo); they even used the TV theme in the parts of the movie!
Now, I am all for in jokes; the driver at the end; "No Disintegrations" (from SW:ESB) and practically anything out of "Hot Shots" or "Scary Movie" or "Mafia!" but this was ridiculous.
I'll bet the studio had a meeting JUST LIKE the studio meeting in the SPRITE commercial:
Marketing Director - Do you have a script? Cronies - Nah, but we can bang one out in about two weeks...
The action was OK, but I really would have liked a weeeee bit more development, some conflict, and perhaps better dialog.
But I guess I will have to wait for SWAT 2 - Script Doctor's Nightmare.
28 Days Later (2002)
Nasty Indigestion
All in all the movie is pretty good, and I enjoyed the graininess of the images, and the bleakness that it implied (most UK movies from the 1970's and 1980's seem to have this quality, and I think the director may have been paying a subtle homage to this quality).
The movie was lacking, however, in that there was insufficient explanation on who created the virus, why it was so lethal, why the victims became vomit-zombies, what happened in mainland Europe and the rest of the world, why some were infected and others were not, maybe a few flashbacks to the riots, and perhaps having some kind of confrontation with the originator of the virus (they had to survive, they always do).
I don't know, maybe I just need to have things explained to me, but I would have liked more of a story-driven movie (see above) than a theme-driven movie (bleak, desolate survival).
But it was entertaining. WWWRRRRRETCHHHHHH!!!!!
Hollywood Homicide (2003)
Great Concept, Sketchy Execution
Following on their successful collaboration in this summer's blockbuster "Hollywood Homicide" Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett are going to release a 'crossover' album of the rap/hip-hop/house music genre.
It will feature brand new songs such as "Horribly MisKast" "Kissing my Chances for an Oscar Goodbye," "That Damn Ben Affleck gets all the Media Attention and J-Lo too" and the classic "Who is the Bigger Fool (My Agent or Me for Accepting This Role)?"
You will also be dancing with your sweetheart beneath the mirror ball to the slow tune "Donuts and Vitamin V...A tribute to over the hill action star."
Also, Smokey Robinson and Gladys Knight will be performing back up vocals, with Ludcris, Snoop Doggie, R Kelly and P Diddy on Violin, Cello, oboe and soup can, respectively.
Special appearances by Grouch Marx, Karl Marx, Bruce Greenwood, Mark Hamill, Hillary Clinton and Scott Peterson have been rumored but are unconfirmed at this time.
X2 (2003)
A worthy sequel, and a darn good film in it's own right
It isn't too hard to satisfy my cinematic demands [I wasn't wild about, but tolerated Jar Jar; as you can guess I am as big an X-Men fan as I am a Star Wars fan], so when something like this comes along, I can be forgiving of its flaws.
The first of which is that the movie was several days to short. That's right, my chief complaint is that the movie was too short.
When I was about ten years old, I bought my first X-Men comic book. I waited 21 years for the characters and story to hit the silver screen; 2000's "X-Men" was worth every minute of the wait.
Now, two years later, this was not only a worthy sequel, but it surpasses the first movie in many ways.
I want George Lucas to hand over the director's reins to Brian Singer, and have Wolverine make a guest appearance in Star Wars: Episode 3: the Undecided Title.
I would have love to have seen some cross-pollination; that is, someone should have been reading a newspaper, and it should have been a copy of "The Daily Bugle."
The movie seems to have been inspired, to some extent, by 1982's "God Loves, Man Kills" an X-Men story that I enjoyed greatly.
If you are a fan, or if you say "X-Who?" this is an enjoyable movie, and I hope that I one day can take my kids to see "X-Men 7 - Wolverine Shaves!"
Anger Management (2003)
Very Funny Cameos
First off, I must admit that I am not the harshest of critics (OK, I really didn't mind Jar Jar that much). That being said, I think this would be a semi-compelling rental.
First off, what worked for me were the cameos. Heather Graham may make a Red Sox fan out of me yet, and I can only wish that just one girl would bite someone's toe off for me (see the movie to get the reference). Additionally, Woody Harrelson was very funny in, shall we say, a demanding role. John C. Reilly could inspire a whole team of childhood bullies to be come Buddhist Monks.
Overall, the humor needed a bit more tweaking. I got the impression that the writers were getting all the laughs, and not too concerned if the audience even cared.
The airplane scene was a funny, if sad, indictment of the mentality of the airlines flight attendants, I mean, stewardesses, as well as the Department of Fatherland Oppression. Additionally, the courtroom scene was constructed to appeal to a hard-core cynical view of the justice system (punish the innocent, protect the guilty, etc.)
And the porn-duo! The both of them could turn goat milk to gasoline!
But, to be truthful, it lagged, the jokes wore out quickly, the cat looked like animatronic and Jack Nicholson should have had more dialog; he should have had better motivation (whatever that means).
Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Well Worth Watching!
I read a less-than-enthusiastic review about BILB in the NY Daily News, and I approached the theater with low expectations.
When I saw the crowd (in NYC, Lincoln Plaza Cinema) waiting for the 10:40 PM show, I thought "What's going on?"
By the time it was over, I lost all respect for the movie critic who gave it a "sort-of-OK" review.
Knowing as much about English popular culture as I do about Indian cinema (which is to say NOTHING), I had little trouble picking up on the conversations and the humor.
It was a bit on the formulaic, predictable, feel-good side, but in light of the economy, war and the dismal state of Hollywood today (DareDevil excepted) this was a treat, delight and a barrel of laughs.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable movie and I would recommend it to anyone who knows how to laugh, and a few who don't.
Daredevil (2003)
A worthy translation to the Silver Screen
Ok, I'll admit that I'm not a harsh critic; in fact, I even LIKED SWEp1:ANH (don't get me started on that one).
I loved both X-Men and Spiderman, so I approached DD high hopes.
Those hopes were not dashed. I was a fan of the Frank Miller's DD when I was growing up and it appears so were the creative staffers. While not perfect, the director and visual effects crew did a superb job of conveying the notion of ol' Horn Head's Radar Sense, as well as his enhanced senses.
Also, DD's origin was well fleshed out; a relatively simple story to film, it was easily understood by my former college roommate, who is a comic book fan but was not familiar with DD.
The fight scenes were dark, but DD was a night owl anyway.
Jon Favreau was a great choice for Foggy Nelson, even though his physical appearance differed from the comic book character.
Never having watched Alias, I did not know what to make of Jennifer Garner as Elektra. As the movie unfolded, she did a wonderful job. I can't wait for the DVD to see if there were any cut scenes that would have detailed Elektra more.
And finally, Ben Affleck as Matt Murdock/DD was a good choice after all; I was sort of afraid he'd ruin it; but he nailed the character down pat.
Personally, I can't wait for the sequel. Maybe he'll encounter Spiderman/Peter Parker or do an interview for the Daily Planet.
I can dream, can't I?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Can't hold a candle
In brief, this was a disappointment. Some of the jokes were passable and Cal Kitt, or whatever his name is was amusing, but all in all, I feel there was too damn little nudity, too little humor and too few genuine sound effects.
In no way can this even hold a candle to Animal House.
May you bury your enemies in the garden of their own ideology,
Moneybagzz
No Such Thing (2001)
Could've gone somewhere
I saw a preview screening of 'No Such Thing' so my commentary will be on that, not the finished product.
It started out rather interesting, but I kept scratching my head about pretty much everything that went on.
The dialog, the characters, their motivation....what the director was trying to accomplish was a complete mystery.
Perhaps I consume too much entertainment pablum [I actually liked the idea of JarJar Binks, but not the accent, found 'On the Beach' engrossing, if depressing, and would really like to see Fox produce Temptation Island 3] but this was a little too much for my taste.
Don't get me wrong.... intellectual, indirect and non-mainstream cinema can work for me, but this did not.
Evolution (2001)
I watched the whole damn thing and not one laugh
Not only did I not laugh, but if I saw it in a theater, I would have walked out in disgust.
Seemed like a good idea, at first but quickly went downhill.
Had there been more focus on the shower with the girls' volleyball team
and a little bit of nudity, it MAY have had some redeeming qualities.
Other than that false hope, it was a total waste.
Space Battleship Yamato (1979)
Way ahead of its time
The show was a refreshing break from all cartoons about critters dropping pounds of TNT on one another and assorted silliness. It rode the heels of the popularity of Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, despite the fact that, in Japan, it preceded them.
The greatest flaw was that it was not properly marketed, and has been confined to a niche category.
Disney made an attempt a few years ago to resurrect and modernize the property, but it seems to be stuck in dev-hell. From what I understand about the script, it should stay there until a better script makes its way through the bowels of Hollywood.
Sorority Sex Kittens 3 (1997)
Pointless, but it *DOES* have Ashlyn Gere
The plot line was about as confusing as Chinese Communist politics, but it *DOES* have Ashlyn Gere, and that's all I need.
Oh, and did I mention she is in an all-girl orgy?
A classic. Simply a classic.
On the Beach (2000)
It gave me nightmares....
I wanted to see the opening of the movie, but I never got the chance during the first time it was broadcast on SHOWTIME.
A few nights later, I was hit with a case of insomnia, and turned on the last seven eighths at around 2AM.
I had nightmares for a week! It was the end of the world as you know it!
Overall, it was a well done message movie. I liked Armand Assante as the captain, and he butted heads particularly well with Bryan Brown. Rachel Ward was also convincing, as were the married folk.
I had a few questions, such as: [a] where were the hardened shelters? how did the Chinese nuclear arsenal grow so quickly?
[c] what happened to the rest of the globe's navies? [d] how did the Australians get the same blue suicide pills that the Alaskans used? [e] how many detonations did it take to create a cloud that pervasive? [f] why was there an absence of religious figures [priests, rabbis] during the end of the world? All in all, a good movie, but one that can deeply frighten.