johandav

52 yr old American male.

Favorite Films:
1. Much Ado About Nothing
2. The Lord of the Rings
3. The Scarlet Pimpernel (1982)
4. Casablanca
5. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Previous Signature Lines:

Goodness! People come and go so quickly here!

And I must have a cricket bat!

When I come back I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

I'll tell you right out that I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.

And that's all anybody said to anybody about anything.

Masochistic sheep: a mutton for punishment.

What would an actor want with a conscience, anyway?

Now . . . bring me that horizon.

You don't know? I thought you knew all the answers. I thought you was a wise guy from way back.

Look, I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor and I want my sausages!

That silly elf song is driving me crazy!

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas - perhaps - means a little bit more.

Ooohh! I shall probably hateth myself cometh the dawn!

Hot air balloon? Too expensive.
Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous.
Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!

Use the instrument panel, Loke. That's what it's there for.

I am not interested in discussing the grain and texture of Bill Cole's hair follicles before I've had my breakfast.

Boy breaks twenty-seven bones – avoids earache!

Fiddlesticks, boy! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds!

Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it a while.

If women are educated, who will make our puddings? – Timothy Dwight, President of Yale

Chum bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?!

Never liked seeing strangers. Maybe it's because no stranger ever good newsed me.

My cigar ash is fine. How are your shoelaces?

Ben Affleck - winner of one Oscar.
Martin Scorsese - winner of zero Oscars.
î‚©


I'll have three fingers of rotgut.
And you?
Lemonade, please ... in a dirty glass!

They say he's closed the eyes of many a man – and opened the eyes of many a woman.

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

My signature is so cool that if I told you what it was I'd have to kill you.


G-U-N-P-O-W-D-E-R ...duh ...tobacco! I am a good speller, I am! C-A-T: dog! B-A-T: Rhode Island!

Very exciting – two dead already!

This is supposed to be a 'appy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over 'oo killed 'oo.

Mama! Shell next week's pea and make soup!

There goes one hell of a dentist.

It's a hell of a thing, killin' a man. You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have.

For 3 nights I've listened to nothing but space shows, westerns, cartoon frolics and puppet shows!

A game-legged old man and a drunk. That's all you got?
That's what I got.

Look!! A runabout!! I'll steal it!! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!!!!

Imagination is a good servant, and a bad master.

I like making things up . . . that's my job, making things up. I'm an historian!

Smiley says . . . You're Under Video Surveillance!

Him? His understanding of African culture begins and ends with 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight'

Sittin' here restin' my bones, and this loneliness won't leave me alone.

One of our players was drafted by the St. Louis Browns.
I like the Yankees.
You would!

Skipper, believe it or not, there's a little Kong!
What? A little K- ... How little?

I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school!

Well, at least he made the sleighs run on time.

Stuffed animals – unstuff 'em!
When a child objects, rebuff 'em!

That is the greatest movie I've ever made!

He's scrambling with the dexterity of a lizard!

It's just the branches ... scraping against the house.
This is no time for your damned haikus!

One performance?! Who the hell do you think I am, Lyle Waggoner?

I said YOGI BERRA!
Yogi – that's a kind of religion, isn't it?
You bet it is!

Boy, giraffes are selfish. Runnin' around, looking after number one, gettin' hit by lightning.

Give me my pipe, my slippers and a beautiful woman – and you can keep my pipe and slippers.

I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken!

Hello, ball!!!

Certainty of death . . . small chance of success . . . what are we waitin' for?

Yeah, but if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

How do you say 'meat loaf' in French?
You don't.

Hey, where'd you get that piano?

Alas! Earwax!

Do you have a criminal record?
Well . . . nothing worth braggin' about.

She was voted cutest girl and I was voted cutest boy. Oddly, we came in third for cutest couple.

It's just the bally balliness of it all that makes it all so bally bally.

Alex, if that had been a Pop Tart . . . we'd be dead now.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

• Plato

Penguin, Joker, Riddler... and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!

[pre] Serve God . . .
love me . . .
and mend.[/pre]

He is the son of God, our Messiah . . . King of the Jews!
And that's Capricorn, is it?

So much can happen in a year.
So much can happen in a day!

Gosh, drink is a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.

Who are you? How did you get in here?
I'm the locksmith. And . . . I'm a locksmith.

Where are Bob and Emily?
Probably gluing on their beards.

I must be dreaming. It couldn't be this easy!

I'll offer him $10 . . . . Will, uh, will this get us anything?
Sure, two fives.

How do you like your brandy, sir?
In a glass.

I know this is a bad time for you. We'd have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead yet.

Officer, these men are Tunisian camel jockeys!

Your grandfather, he died in Australia, in a penal colony. And your father, he was a good man too.

He must be a South Pole elf.

Oh, Nick! I'm so glad you're not a detective anymore!

It is a big sky . . .
and a darned great land!

This made the tea unsuitable for drinking. Even for Americans.

'Baby talk'? That's not a saying.
No. But 'baby fish mouth' is sweeping the nation.

They know what they like.
If they knew what they liked, they wouldn't live in Pittsburgh!

Who is responsible for Bonnie Kleinschmidtt?
Two Germans?

Check in the music dept. between the Ish Kabibble kazoos and the Rudy Vallee megaphones.

Anybody who can't speak no perfect English ought to be de-exported the hell out of here!

I'll lie, steal and cheat for this company, but I won't compromise my integrity.

If George Washington had given up at Valley Forge, we'd all be speaking English today.

I've been watching television. In color.

Or should I say Ëœrobot Bob sponge chef pants . . . I put the brain in the robot, you know.

Do you know how to use that thing?
Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.

How's it going, royal ugly dudes?

Cheer up. Did I tell you I saw a robin yesterday?

If there's anything I hate . . . it's you!

A platypus? ...  … [hat is put on] ... PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?!?!

�She's got a face that would make any man forget his sardines. �

You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Begin.

Male models don't think for themselves.
That's not true!
Yes it is.
[meekly] Okay.

Every year there's gonna be another one . . . and every year it's never gonna be me.

Fink-Nottle:
Lay off the sausages. Avoid the ham.
Bertie

My shirt was full of bees.
Really? I would have guessed Cs.

Mr. Oxley's been complaining about my punctuation, so I'm careful to get here by nine.

I was born Mary Patterson, but I married and took my husband's name so now I'm Neil Patterson.

Did the court say denied?
Do bees buzz?

Hmm . . . well, it needs work. I have to go.
*slams door*

You won't catch a monkey that way.
Did you ever catch one?
Did I - lady, you'd be surprised.

Which one is Ephraim and which one is Daniel?
(Together) I am.

Say, you don't look too good. The sight of blood bother you?
Only my own.

The first morning saw us up at six, breakfasted and back in bed at seven.

There was once a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

I QUIT the debating club last Spring!!!

Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water is crazy!

Every age is the same. It's only love that makes any of them bearable.

A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Jack and Locke are too busy worrying about Locke and Jack.

Hello. I am a dramatization of a doctor.�

My, that Veta Louise certainly is a whirlwind, isn't she?

Hey, there, Mr. . . . Brownshoes. How's that local sports team?

Armando Benitez, the human train wreck who always runs on time.

New IMDb rule: signature can be max of 50 characte

I'm a big girl.
And in all the right places, too.�

Gentlemen! We can't *all* be the Honey-Nut Cheerios honeybee!

What's a bell-bell, Belle?
(exasperated) Only in America!

If you found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, there'd be a tax collector sitting on the lid.

I'm going to be a mime.
You don't say.

You think you're smart, but you're not. You're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me!

She doesn’t get eaten by the eels at this time.

They say they gotta stay home and shampoo each other!

Why couldn’t I be Governor of Idaho? Kill a few potatoes; who’d care?

Whistling Wolf should get more camera time . . . he’s like a young Pacino!

Alas! The next word is ‘pigs’ bristles’. We are undone, my good Watson!

Careful, Tiny, don't bang the furniture with the crutch.