hayabusa-1
Joined Jul 2002
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Reviews31
hayabusa-1's rating
The movie is not funny. The special effects are lousy. There is no reason at all for this movie to exist, it is a slap in the face to the entire Ghostbusters franchise.
People who say "The Item" is the worst movie of all time have obviously never seen "Ax 'Em". Don't get me wrong, "The Item" is a horrible movie, and deserves it's spot among the worst stinkers of all time such as "Nukie", "Birdemic", "Fun in Balloon Land", "Leonard Part 6", "The Last Jedi", "The Amazing Bulk", "Foodfight!", "The Oogieloves", "Cool Cat Saves the Kids", "Jurassic Shark", "The Rise of Skywalker", "3 Dev Adam", Backyard Dogs", every Os Trapalhões movie, every Kirk Cameron movie, every Kevin Sorbo movie, etc.
"The Item" is the film you'd get if "Ax 'Em" wasn't out-of-focus every frame and wasn't plagued with muffled audio throughout. For as truly painful an experience it was to watch "The Item", at least every shot was in focus and the audio was recorded competently. Hell, with some of the cheesy sound effects that accompany the atrocious special effects, I'm pretty sure this movie is self-aware that it's trash, and laughing at itself. Like the comedic cartoon sound effect that plays when a character literally springs up at the speed of light from a sitting position. Or characters that "run" faster than any human could run, with the background scrolling smoothly as if they were on skateboards. I got a good chuckle out of the scene where a laptop computer is being used to "get in touch with the client" and what is seen on screen is a linux directory listing with one file clearly being a simlink to a file in /usr/bin/ . I'm pretty sure you need to do a little more than issue the "ls" command in linux to communicate with someone. And the next time we see the computer screen, there's an oddly truncated GUI showing Netscape Navigator running on what I believe to be CDE. One more argument for why this isn't the worst movie of all time, the narrative was cohesive enough for me to to effectively loathe the main character. That takes some talent in the writing and acting departments.
"The Item" is a truly awful, un-enjoyable, low-budget piece of trash. While it ranks among the worst movies of all time, it can't hold a candle to the undisputed champion of worst movie ever: "Ax 'Em".
"The Item" is the film you'd get if "Ax 'Em" wasn't out-of-focus every frame and wasn't plagued with muffled audio throughout. For as truly painful an experience it was to watch "The Item", at least every shot was in focus and the audio was recorded competently. Hell, with some of the cheesy sound effects that accompany the atrocious special effects, I'm pretty sure this movie is self-aware that it's trash, and laughing at itself. Like the comedic cartoon sound effect that plays when a character literally springs up at the speed of light from a sitting position. Or characters that "run" faster than any human could run, with the background scrolling smoothly as if they were on skateboards. I got a good chuckle out of the scene where a laptop computer is being used to "get in touch with the client" and what is seen on screen is a linux directory listing with one file clearly being a simlink to a file in /usr/bin/ . I'm pretty sure you need to do a little more than issue the "ls" command in linux to communicate with someone. And the next time we see the computer screen, there's an oddly truncated GUI showing Netscape Navigator running on what I believe to be CDE. One more argument for why this isn't the worst movie of all time, the narrative was cohesive enough for me to to effectively loathe the main character. That takes some talent in the writing and acting departments.
"The Item" is a truly awful, un-enjoyable, low-budget piece of trash. While it ranks among the worst movies of all time, it can't hold a candle to the undisputed champion of worst movie ever: "Ax 'Em".