Beentwoo
Joined Dec 2023
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Reviews6
Beentwoo's rating
I was kinda on the fence with this one. I see a lot of b-movies, but to call this a b-movie would be a disservice to the people of the world who make actual b-movies like Robert Kurtsman or the Crum brothers or Barney Benson. These guys make real b-movies and they are American heroes. The people who made "Bigfoot vs the Illuminati" are a disgrace-this is a d-movie. I guess now I should talk about the racism. They are promoting old school 1840s style racism. I heard slurs I never knew existed. They made Bigfoot a racist stereotype, and it pisses me off when they call him uppity. Mostly because they're right: he is uppity and it's stupid that they wrote his character that way. Bigfoot doesn't deserve that. Free Bigfoot! They also imply that Van Helsing almost saved America from 9/11. This is unrelated to the movie...so why imply it? I'm done with this. I have been turned off from all alien movies until the end of time. I was planning on watching the sequels to this: "Bigfoot vs Megaladon" and "Bigfoot vs Megaladon 2" but you can forget that! I'm just tired...it's tiring...I don't wanna be around anymore. Like I said, I was on the fence with this one in the beginning and after five minutes, I jumped off and I fell far. I wish I was dead.
I went down to my local video store and picked this one up. The guy at the desk made me show him my ID before buying this. This is very strange because I've only ever been carded once before at this place (despite buying a bunch of rated R movies). The only other movie I've been carded for was a smut film called Lake Fear 2: The Swamp which ends with a pregnant nude woman being crucified upside down and the fetus is ripped out of her and thrown in a fire. So naturally, I thought I was in for a wild ride on this one. After watching it...I have no idea why I got carded. This movie is way more tame than others I've bought, but that's all besides the point.
Here's a list of notes I took while watching the movie: After watching the opening scene, my friend said "I bet this guy kills that family because the dad threw out the guy's weed wacker." That turns out to be the actual motive.
A couple is in the market for a house. Someone forgot to tell the real estate agent that they aren't shooting a p*rno today.
At one point a brother and sister fight to the death. The girl wins...unrealistic. I appreciate the twist, but this would not be the outcome in real life.
Love the makeup work on the guy who got his eyelids cut off. Every time they show his stupid-wide gaze is hilarious.
It seems the writer of this movie hates women. Seriously, the women are called derogatory and misogynistic terms before getting killed in a brutal fashion. Like for real...where does this writer get off?!
Here's a list of notes I took while watching the movie: After watching the opening scene, my friend said "I bet this guy kills that family because the dad threw out the guy's weed wacker." That turns out to be the actual motive.
A couple is in the market for a house. Someone forgot to tell the real estate agent that they aren't shooting a p*rno today.
At one point a brother and sister fight to the death. The girl wins...unrealistic. I appreciate the twist, but this would not be the outcome in real life.
Love the makeup work on the guy who got his eyelids cut off. Every time they show his stupid-wide gaze is hilarious.
It seems the writer of this movie hates women. Seriously, the women are called derogatory and misogynistic terms before getting killed in a brutal fashion. Like for real...where does this writer get off?!
Huge fan of the first lake fear. The sequel "lake fear 2: The Swamp" was a huge disappointment as they used a different setting and cast of p*rnstars (It also featured one of the most heinous endings that has ever been put in a movie. I'm pretty sure owning this dvd got me on an FBI watchlist).
This movie had the potential to be great as it saw the return of the Crum Brothers. Their reunion with Shannon Sneeden is a huge help. Side Note: Crazy that they used a chunk of the small budget of this movie to pay for the surgery to augment her chest. I was excited to see Shannon Sneeden, but they killed her off so early.
There's a lot of unnecessary slow motion shots in this movie. I think it's because they only had 50 minutes of footage and had to slow it down to get over the one hour mark.
The road head scene was a weird inclusion. I'm not saying I didn't like...I'm just saying it was weird.
There's a sick moment when Vincent has to finger his arm hole to get the demons out. It works.
No shade to Josh Winch for this mess-the dude acted his a** off in this movie. No one can act as unphased to this stuff as him. He has the best reactions to getting sprayed. He gets sprayed like six times in 2 minutes and it's the highlight of this movie. I swear...I ain't lyin-this guy is a star. Just wish they gave him more one liners in this movie.
I think the biggest deficiency in this movie is the lack of pigman. Pigman was my favorite part of the first movie and they left him out. You would think the Crum brothers would have known cash cow (or cash pig rather) when they see one but apparently not.
I can't even tell you what happened in the second half of the movie. Some one forgot to set up lights in every scene. That is kind of the director's tactic for these movies.
It's a shame because I'm such a huge fan of the franchise. I hope for nothing but the best for the Crum's, but this is just bad guys.
This movie had the potential to be great as it saw the return of the Crum Brothers. Their reunion with Shannon Sneeden is a huge help. Side Note: Crazy that they used a chunk of the small budget of this movie to pay for the surgery to augment her chest. I was excited to see Shannon Sneeden, but they killed her off so early.
There's a lot of unnecessary slow motion shots in this movie. I think it's because they only had 50 minutes of footage and had to slow it down to get over the one hour mark.
The road head scene was a weird inclusion. I'm not saying I didn't like...I'm just saying it was weird.
There's a sick moment when Vincent has to finger his arm hole to get the demons out. It works.
No shade to Josh Winch for this mess-the dude acted his a** off in this movie. No one can act as unphased to this stuff as him. He has the best reactions to getting sprayed. He gets sprayed like six times in 2 minutes and it's the highlight of this movie. I swear...I ain't lyin-this guy is a star. Just wish they gave him more one liners in this movie.
I think the biggest deficiency in this movie is the lack of pigman. Pigman was my favorite part of the first movie and they left him out. You would think the Crum brothers would have known cash cow (or cash pig rather) when they see one but apparently not.
I can't even tell you what happened in the second half of the movie. Some one forgot to set up lights in every scene. That is kind of the director's tactic for these movies.
It's a shame because I'm such a huge fan of the franchise. I hope for nothing but the best for the Crum's, but this is just bad guys.