KubrickCRM114

From all the hype I've heard, I really expected more from this movie. It was like a high school play written and performed by the special ed. class. Each actor is so wooden, you'd think they were reading from cue cards and focusing on pronouncing the next word rather than being convincing. There is no story, really, and Linklater's portrayal of high school is utterly retarded. Maybe it's just been too long but I sure don't remember being taunted with hollow threats like, "I'm gonna make this next year hell for you, FRESHMAN!" That's the kind of thing you ONLY hear in extremely stupid movies and television shows. More than likely, this movie gained it's popularity from illiterate stoners and such, but in all reality, this movie sucked, and Richard Linklater should be nominated for every Razzie for the next ten years.

Once upon a time in Wisconsin, in a small town where Alan Hale is the sheriff (Oh! the horrors!), a strange fireball comes down from another dimension and releases giant spiders. At least, that's what was supposed to happen. Actually, some really horrible characters meander around and a VW Beetle with a big fuzzy shell on it drives around. Not much of a story, and the acting is tremendously bad, so director Bill Rebane makes up for it with...nothing. This has to be one of the worst pseudo-horror films ever made, and that is what makes it fun to watch, with the protection of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, of course. As a serious horror film, 0 out of 5.

Yes, anyone who saw the MST3K version is aware that Leonard Maltin gave Laserblast two and a half stars, and this simply proves that he is insane. Now, the film itself centers on Billy, a young man who looks like he has problems with heroin and shirt buttons. Billy is sort of taunted by Sherrif Fuzzy Marshmallow, then Eddie Deezen & Co., so he goes to the desert. Seems logical. Upon arrival in the desert, Billy finds a laser gun that was left behind by two turtles minus shells. Billy soon begins destroying things, and Bill Bixby shows up in town. Billy's thinner than life girlfriend insists Billy go to Dr. Roddy McDowall, and the good doctor removes a lump of metal from his chest and calls a Lenscrafter technician.

Confused yet?

Don't bother trying to understand what's going on in this movie, it will just make your head hurt. No good acting, I don't even think it was directed, and written by a chimp with ADD. Do not watch without the safety net of MST3K. 1/10