Tails-5
Joined Aug 1999
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Tails-5's rating
An insane crewman is starting a mutiny on a huge colonist spaceship, but the captain and his potentiates must stop him before they mess up the entire mission. But the whole farce ends up being an hour-and-a-half long bore. It features pretty sloppy dialogue, painfully slow action scenes, and tiresome cheap special effects. All in all, it's a great way to waste time and feel scummy afterward.
I know that many of Chuck Norris' movies are filled with cliches and ripoffs of Dirty Harry and other such movies, but this one lays less off of Dirty Harry and instead goes for low immature humor and painfully bad scriptwriting. A pack of stupid kids protect the rainforest from a greedy troupe of redneck lumberjacks, with the help of the ghost of a part-Indian mountain man (played by none other than Chuck Norris) who happens to know karate. The film features a handful of Walker, Texas Ranger regulars, in addition to perhaps the most painful scriptwriting anyone has seen on this planet. But then again, what can we expect from Aaron Norris, who is Chuckie's little brother?? Also, did I forget to mention that the acting REALLY sucked!?
*The following may ruin your appetite for the show. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Well, schlock art is at its sourest in this collection of Walker, Texas Ranger episodes. Here we see an expressionless, bulletproof Ranger Cordell Walker, who is part Indian and part shoe leather. He has a friend/deputy, Trivet, who's possibly supposed to look like Sidney Poitier. To make matters worse, Walker's ugly and shrill girlfriend, Sheree-eeeek Wilson, gets into all sorts of trouble with rednecks, hicks, and general fiends with grandiose plans to take over Texas in various ways. Remember that not even cruise missiles can put a dent in Walker's indestructable Dodge Ram pickup truck, and his gun is radar-guided and has 100% accuracy (and bad guys use blank cartridges.) And don't forget -- if you think you'll be safe at Walker's Rocking-Horsemeat Ranch, you're wrong! If you're dying for a quick laugh and are accustomed to making fun of shoddily written scripts, poorly cast characters, and those dang annoying little conveniences that just have to pop up from time to time, this is your series.
Well, schlock art is at its sourest in this collection of Walker, Texas Ranger episodes. Here we see an expressionless, bulletproof Ranger Cordell Walker, who is part Indian and part shoe leather. He has a friend/deputy, Trivet, who's possibly supposed to look like Sidney Poitier. To make matters worse, Walker's ugly and shrill girlfriend, Sheree-eeeek Wilson, gets into all sorts of trouble with rednecks, hicks, and general fiends with grandiose plans to take over Texas in various ways. Remember that not even cruise missiles can put a dent in Walker's indestructable Dodge Ram pickup truck, and his gun is radar-guided and has 100% accuracy (and bad guys use blank cartridges.) And don't forget -- if you think you'll be safe at Walker's Rocking-Horsemeat Ranch, you're wrong! If you're dying for a quick laugh and are accustomed to making fun of shoddily written scripts, poorly cast characters, and those dang annoying little conveniences that just have to pop up from time to time, this is your series.