DrSmooth
Joined May 1999
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Reviews12
DrSmooth's rating
I was relaxing at home at midnight with a plate of take-out and a beer. I figured that this was a great time for a turn off your brain movie, so I started flipping through the wasteland.
I landed upon a 12:05am showing of Wushu Warrior on The Movie Channel. I figured this would be great. Cheesy kung-fu movies and beer are a winning combination. Unfortunately, what I got was a cheesy kung-fu movie that took itself way too seriously.
If ever there was a movie that should realize that it didn't have the budget, fight choreography, acting talent, writing and post production work needed to take itself seriously, it should be this one. I mean, in the opening "I want to learn your ways" bit a guy teleports, and then tells the main character that there's a dragon inside everyone.
The movie's big fight sequence is literally about 60 seconds long, apparently both because there wasn't anyone on the film that could fight convincingly and because the screenwriter thought his plot was freaking amazing. The story's hackily-written cliché upon cliché, and when it isn't being poorly dubbed in English, it's being delivered with all the ability of a elementary school performance.
Bottom line, this isn't even worth killing time at midnight, and the laughs from the poor production can't justify wasting your time on this. Much sadness.
I landed upon a 12:05am showing of Wushu Warrior on The Movie Channel. I figured this would be great. Cheesy kung-fu movies and beer are a winning combination. Unfortunately, what I got was a cheesy kung-fu movie that took itself way too seriously.
If ever there was a movie that should realize that it didn't have the budget, fight choreography, acting talent, writing and post production work needed to take itself seriously, it should be this one. I mean, in the opening "I want to learn your ways" bit a guy teleports, and then tells the main character that there's a dragon inside everyone.
The movie's big fight sequence is literally about 60 seconds long, apparently both because there wasn't anyone on the film that could fight convincingly and because the screenwriter thought his plot was freaking amazing. The story's hackily-written cliché upon cliché, and when it isn't being poorly dubbed in English, it's being delivered with all the ability of a elementary school performance.
Bottom line, this isn't even worth killing time at midnight, and the laughs from the poor production can't justify wasting your time on this. Much sadness.
Overall, I liked the film, but instead of a 7, this could easily be an 8-8.5. There are so many pointless scenes in this movie that are supposed to be "developing characters" but the majority of them are so awful and awkward, you're more wondering why the heck they were included rather than learning about the characters.
There are long, extended sequences with Megan Fox and Shia LeBouf that drag on unconscionably long. The sequences with the hackers are abysmal, as well. That whole story arc has almost no bearing on the film, and the most annoying part of it all is that the development of the Transformers was sacrificed in order to develop an abundance of useless characters.
Forgiving the plot holes and other weirdness (Why would the Secretary of Defense be constantly addressing the nation in a time of crisis?) the movie's decent.
I really wish Bay would have tossed far fewer "Oh look, nobody noticed the GIANT CG ROBOT IN FRONT OF ME" sequences and slowed down the robot fighting sequences so you could possibly see what the heck was going on. In nearly every sequence, all you can see is, "Oh, there's a mass of metal." If Bay would have cut the hackers, and trimmed the some of the awkward character sequences this would be a fine 1 3/4 hour film with some nicely fleshed out Transformers, with more than 4 lines to differentiate explain why the Autobots were not jerks, and that the Decepticons were.
Also, the lips do look weird.
There are long, extended sequences with Megan Fox and Shia LeBouf that drag on unconscionably long. The sequences with the hackers are abysmal, as well. That whole story arc has almost no bearing on the film, and the most annoying part of it all is that the development of the Transformers was sacrificed in order to develop an abundance of useless characters.
Forgiving the plot holes and other weirdness (Why would the Secretary of Defense be constantly addressing the nation in a time of crisis?) the movie's decent.
I really wish Bay would have tossed far fewer "Oh look, nobody noticed the GIANT CG ROBOT IN FRONT OF ME" sequences and slowed down the robot fighting sequences so you could possibly see what the heck was going on. In nearly every sequence, all you can see is, "Oh, there's a mass of metal." If Bay would have cut the hackers, and trimmed the some of the awkward character sequences this would be a fine 1 3/4 hour film with some nicely fleshed out Transformers, with more than 4 lines to differentiate explain why the Autobots were not jerks, and that the Decepticons were.
Also, the lips do look weird.