oxymoron-3

This is one of the poorest directed movies I have ever seen. It's only saving grace is the fine acting of James Cromwell but even he couldn't save this poorly done beast of burden, terribly directed disjointed junk. With the most horrid portrayal of young George Imaginable turned in by jonathan Rhys Meyers turning in a totally overacted and efeminate performance that ruined the story totally and utterly.

This film had two saving Graces. First Chris Christoferson was killed off early,... mercifully. Secondly In spite of a rather silly story, and even through heavy Monkey Make up and costuming Tim Roth's wonderful acting abilities and power shined through. When you are an actor who is so powerful that you can overcome a crappy story, silly dialouge, heavy make up...neigh full body and face masks, and still come through powerfully, That is Brilliant Acting. To Tim Roth I say WELL DONE. As for the rest of this film it is Politically Correct, Ultra liberal Rubbish, repleat with Gun Control and "The uppety House Homo-Sapien" What utter drival. If that weren't so bad we then have a Captain who disobeys a Lt Generals Direct order in the first ten minutes of the movie. Hmmmm Where was General Patton when we needed him? Well of course disobedience is to be expected, after all we here on planet earth have changed our armies moto from "Be all that you can be" to "A One man Army" (sic) So this rebel disobeys the general not to save the universe from some great plauge, or solar or neutron or nuclear distruction but to chase a Chip into a time Warp...you see, there were no instruments or technology advanced enough to detect what may exist in this mystic ciderial "coal mine" the scientest just had to send a chimp with the brain the size of a potatoe flying his little pod into the unknown.....yeah right! What ever the faults of the first Planet of the Apes Series of Films, They are Masterpieces compared to this disaster.

What Can one say but...."Siesta?"

Remember that line in Amadeus...when Salieri asked Mozart what he thought of his music?..."What can you say but Salieri?" this was his answer, trying not to insult... Actually that would be a grossly inaccurate an unfair comparison since Salieri had more than a Modicum of talent. Also, I am no Mozart. Although the cast was replete with some here to for fine actors, they were lost in this paradise of tripe. This film has no such molecules of anything resembling quality or lyric profundity Mozartian, Salierian or otherwise to worry in it's furrowed pseudo intellectual brow over.

At the end of this film my first thought was... What were these fine actors thinking of when they read and ACCEPTED this dreadful script? Surely it must have been ..'I need a movie in which I can really do a terrible job... and that will possibly help me destroy my career, Hmmm?..this will do nicely!' This movie is quite possible one of the 10 worst films I have ever seen.....and I have never seen worse direction ...not ever. Some "Godzillas" and even "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" was directed better than this work. When I re rolled the credits, I saw that it was directed by Mary Lambert I......whose surgery on Pet Cemetery in my opinion totally destroyed and butchered Stephen King's book. This film was ...where shall I begin? was, Disjointed. Poorly Acted, ...Gabriel Byrne did not have a clue about the spanish accent in English, (and what did one of my favorites Martin Sheen think his was doing with that character?)...not to mention photography that was 3rd rate....a plot that was so disjointed that only the recent recipient of a tab of LSD could have followed it....or cared about it. What Can one say but...."Siesta?" ?... A siesta of talent put to work well, good screen writing, cinematography, continuity, good acting, interesting and compelling dialog...they were all on siesta. Only, this siesta wasn't the normal two hours between 2 and 4 pm it was a grueling 93 minutes of this un likeable piece of cinematic junk. A little night music please! Oh yes, the only saving grace in the filme was the dab of some rather nice Flamenco Music....Unfortunatly....just thrown in.....just like the bullfights.....Where is Ernest Hemmingway when you really need him...Fin