JonathanDP81

The ridiculous fun of the series comes to a crescendo in this superhero romp. The game makes good use of the map from the previous game, with enough changes to keep it from seeming stale. Adding super powers speeds up the game-play and helps avoid the dull commutes that mar many sandbox titles. Again the story and characters are funny, which is rare in most games. I would recommend playing Saints Row 3 before you tackle this one as they're deeply linked but be sure to add this one to your wish-list.

** of ***** Below Average

Pros: Some interesting footage of vintage cars and early NASCAR. Cons: Most everything else.

Viewed: 3 February 2006 Format: DVR recording from Showtime Extreme

It's interesting that my first Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello movie isn't one of their famous beach films but a racing flick, the other big teenage film fad of the early '60's. Since most of these films were mostly background for necking at drive-ins, plus the fact it produced by American International, I wasn't surprised to find this a lightweight piece of filmmaking.

"Fireball 500" starts and ending with an interesting (but very, very short) piece of claymation made by Chokey Films ("Gumby") before we meet our hero, Dave Owens, winning the eponymous race of the film. He's driving Richard Petty's car, Number 43, which strikes a weird note, but I'm guessing Petty wasn't yet nationally known, so the director used it to match with the stock footage.

About the stock footage: There's a LOT. And since the races in the film consist mostly of that and rear-projection shots, they really lack any tension at all. However, in the final race, there's footage of a multi-car pileup that must be seen to be believed.

After winning and during the opening credits, Dave heads south (for no apparent reason) while singing the first of several banal songs and driving a far-out custom car that I doubt any real racer would be seen dead in. Once below the Mason-Dixon line, he starts dirt racing on the local track. Why, I don't know. He's going to Dayton soon, and I would figure the prize money from the race at the start of the film would tide him over until then, so maybe it's just for kicks.

In short order he half-heartily romances Funicello (who appears so little in this film it's practically a walk-on), annoys the local racing big shot by beating him and is tricked to unknowingly moving a load of moonshine at night. Yes, really.

Most of the plot involves a rather silly and threadbare mystery that I won't spoil. Of course, in the end, there's the Big Race!

Frankie Avalon was really not suited for the role of tough racing driver here. The lines really don't sound natural coming from him, and the fact that he seems a good half-foot shorter than any other male in the film doesn't help either. This makes the fight scenes look even faker than they probably would have.

The Bottom Line: Skip unless you're into these kinds of films.

Recommend to a friend?: No.

Speaking as someone who really enjoyed the first two Spy Kids films, I'm afraid I must say that Roger Ebert's right, "3-D sucks, always has, maybe always will" and watching the 3-D part is like seeing it "through a dirty window". The fact that it's really hard to get the 3-D effect to work when you wear glasses like I do doesn't help either. The eye strain's bad as well with mine practically burning by the end. I'd be waiting for the DVD where I could hopefully watch it normally, but there other problems that keep me being too excited.

For a movie has which has a theme of counting on your family, there certainly isn't much family to be seen. It feels like the title should have been "Spy Kid: Juni's Big Adventure" since he's the only one of the Cortezes to be seen for what seems to be about 80% of the runtime. Grampa Montalban wanders in and out of proceedings seemly at random and doesn't do much to further the plot. Carmen only enters the film near the end and seems to gotten a whole lot grumpier since we last saw her. The rest of the family's parts are miniscule, basically glorified cameos.

It seems like a lot of necessary footage was left on the cutting room floor and a lot of unnecessary stuff left in. The reasons for Juni's situation at the beginning and what the Toymaker did in the past are barely even hinted at. Along with the whole "trapped in cyberspace for 30 years" thing which doesn't make a whole of sense, an ending which makes no sense whatsoever, and endless action sequences with little point to them, it makes for a confusing and frustrating film which feels like it takes forever to end.

I did enjoy Stallone in his first good part in ages and the reunion at the end was nice to see, but in the end I have to give this one a thumbs down. Wait for the rental.