Ardennes Fury

I normally watch and shrug off bad movies but this was so bad I have to ask why was it made in the first place? The acting was wooden; the dialog stilted as if written by a foreigner with limited American. Every cliché was there - heroic suicides; the trusty black sergeant; the foot on the mine; the evil Nazi. At every turn the plot was more and more incredible. The heroic mother whose children run off not once but twice. There was the ticking clock which ticked way beyond the deadline. There was the baddie surviving a direct hit from a bomb. The regulation fight to the death with knives.

I am 72 with too few hours left on this earth to waste on trash like this.

I mean, how can you do anything worse than this? A bunch of G.I. running around with rifles not knowing what to do, matched by a equally idiotic bunch of German with an idiot as a major who wanted to get important information from an ordinary private. Plus a good looking nun who got panicky at every turn of events, an old nun who had to step on a mine and two kids who ran around in a battlefield like they were in an amusement park! And the tanks! Oh God, you would think they could only shoot at point blank, and miss! I just cannot understand who would invest money into making such kind of crap.

And what is more, the whole time the weather was just perfect and there was not a single American plane in sight. Guess that is why the German can afford to take it easy and hang their clothes out to dry.

Anyway, if you want a love, watch this movie.

I'm not usually one to pick on small details or historical inaccuracy, but this was too much. Having wasted 90 minutes of my life, the least I could do now is help spare someone else from the same fate.

A point form summary of why/how this film is awful, in the order I noticed them when I was watching it.

• the fireballs from when tanks fire at each other are glaringly obviously CGI animations and look completely unrealistic

• the soldiers shoot at each other while standing in front of their respective tanks, while those tanks fire at each other

• the Germans are unbelievably dumb and also can't shoot for their life (literally). They're also apparently using Soviet T-34 tanks.

• the Germans also speak English. To each other. They may throw in occasional German words, like "Ja, officer" or "Granate". You know, German phrases easily understood by a typical American audience. It's ridiculous. And it occurs repeatedly, constantly reminding you of how absurd this film is.

• when three German soldiers (one an officer with an STG assault rifle) see two Americans carrying small tanks of fuel, they prefer to run after the Americans while firing single shots (and missing all of them) instead of just stopping to get a clear shot at the enemy. Oh, did I mention the two groups were running about 5 meters apart?

• when kids head loud sounds, they may or may not randomly run away from the protection of their parents and friendly soldiers, out into the woods, getting themselves killed/captured

• if a sniper shoots directly at an American in an open field, the bullet somehow manages to ricochet off his helmet.

• killing several German fire teams is no sweat, but when you meet another in your way, the Americans decide that the 4 guys standing out in an open road is suddenly too much for them to take.

• sneaking around four guys on a road by going around through the forest apparently takes an extra 20 minutes, making that a non-option

Here's the last and arguably most laughable part. I'd almost suggest you get the movie simply for this part simply because of it near- comedic aspect.

• hitting someone's head with a small MP40 submachine gun will cause their head to become a pile of gory god knows what. I couldn't even see a face. It looked like the guy's head disappeared and there was some scattered mass blood, brains, and whatever else what where his head used to be. That's the result of an injured man hitting another man with a small metal object 3 times.

That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but there's undoubtedly so much more.

Worst WWII movie I have seen, unwatchable. I had to stop after just six minutes because of the historical inaccuracies.

* Germans fighting in what were obviously Soviet T-34 tanks * The "German" T-34s even had the invasion stripes on the turrets even though the fight was out in a field near some forest. The stripes were only used during the invasion of Berlin. * Three Tiger tanks were lined up abreast with maybe a meter between them. In fact two looked like their treads were touching they were so close together. * The editing made it look like one Sherman Easy Eight took out a Tiger with a frontal shot * The Sherman and the tiger were both in the open and maybe 50 meters apart at best.

I agree with all the other posts but I also would like to say the German uniforms were mismatched bad. The officer wore a 3rd Ss isignia but the arm band didn't say totenkomp is appeared to be Adolf Hitler! What the hell was the fake truck that couldn't out run a tank that had what looked like the front of a dodge weapons carrier w a fake axle and a humvie bed! And firing an unloaded German m-g 42 out the bank! And the airplanes come on! Or the officer shoots the lady in the back from 5 feet but then it shows them 300 feet apart!! Should I go one.... Plz quit making films u suck! How old is the private getting tortured 35? Why are they they so unable to take a direct order rather than debate it? Why do they all clump up in a mob rather than spread out so they don't all die at once? Why do they burry the kid way out in the open fearing being shot? The Ss were the most furocious fighting force way better than ours just not enough of them and you make them look like the draft is idiots! You suck