Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

But I can't.

I gave 2 stars though purely for the fact that it had me laughing at how bad it is. Also because I now feel a lot calmer, having rid myself of any hatred in me, by focusing it on this trash.

Previously, "Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus" (2010) ended with the prehistoric creatures fighting their way into a murky abyss. They were both declared dead. How we get a third "Mega Shark" movie begins in Alexandria, Egypt. There, an iceberg cracks and releases "another" of the prehistoric shark creatures. As you might imagine, this one is also very destructive. It begins by decapitating the Sphinx of Giza. This is great loss for civilization – and an incredible feat for a water-based shark. Fortunately, the Americans have built a shark-looking submarine to fight off prehistoric sharks. This "Mecha Shark" is a mechanical version of the destructive monster. Helmed by navigating co-stars Christopher Judge (as Jack Turner) and Elisabeth Rohm (as Rosie Gray), "Mecha Shark" sets out to do battle with the new "Mega Shark"...

Compared to the first two "Mega Shark" movies, this is "Citizen Kane"...

Most obviously, the direction and performances are improved. This time, director Emile Edwin Smith and his "Asylum" crew make the most of their limited resources. The special effects are far from state of the art – but, there is a sense of place. The best "effect" is the mechanical shark's unseen computer voice, NERO, who helps navigate the submarine. NERO recalls HAL from "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968) – but without the smarmy, underlying sinister tone. The co-starring couple, Mr. Judge and Ms. Rohm, strike the right acting chords and have some chemistry. We hope Rohm and NERO will keep Judge from smoking. From the first film, we see Deborah "Debbie" Gibson in a superfluous cameo. Cheers to Paul Anderson as NERO's voice. Jeers to the series' relentless degrading of the science-fiction/horror film genre.

**** Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (1/24/14) Emile Edwin Smith ~ Christopher Judge, Elisabeth Rohm, Matt Lagan, Paul Anderson

Some of the stars from other shows must have hit the skids and been hard up for money to do this.

A new mega shark threatens to destroy humanity. The government creates an exact robotic copy of the shark, either equal to or greater than the original. Now they must fight to the death while people and whole cities get in the way.

The best part of this film was a brief scene that was an homage to the first film's best scene. This is, of course, a showdown between an airplane and a shark... a complete load of nonsense, but highly entertaining.

Beyond that, nothing too exciting. I feel like there was more than the average effort put into the special effects, but most of this is nothing new and even by Asylum's cheap standards it is not as much fun as it could be. I get the impression Debbie Gibson shot all her scenes in one day, because she rarely interacts with anyone and is always standing in the same spot... this is even less than "phoning it in".

The ONLY reason this movie was tolerable was for Christopher Judge, that one scene where the sharks fly up and the airplane dude just says "rerouting", and the the dramatic drowning scenes.

Good luck if you choose to continue.