Tell Them You Love Me

That movie scream racism and control... but a lot of it from personal experience. Both disability and having some interracial relationships in the past.

From the start you could see the family was going to be the issue. Example, mother seriously needs to cut the apron strings, she's just keeping Derrick tied down and isolated because she doesn't want to be alone. Her husband left her due time him. Like they said and she don't want the child she choose over husband to leave. She acts just like my dude mom has acted and has said the same things. She even guilt trips him whenever he tries to stand up to her. Brings up the time he was in the hospital for 5 months in a coma and having seizures, that she was there everyday and no one else.

The brother is super raciest as well. Saying Derrick doesn't like our gospel music, because of Anna. That he never cried like that in front is a white woman. Why does it matter if she's whites. Why not just say, I never cried like that in front of a woman in a professional setting? Everything was about black and white with him.

As far as, Anna I'm conflicted. It's hard to know exactly Derrick's mindset, but I do believe he's a grown man. Even if they act like his mentality is of that of a 12 month old. I do find it odd she knew so much about him and his life for her manipulating his hand and thoughts. Specially after Anna stopped coming around, he was showing signs of distress and self harm.

However, common sense like never bring up your sex life with anyone outside your lover and friend zone... never parents or in-laws. That's why I feel if she really was raping him she wouldn't bring it up.

I agree and believe people with special needs don't have low intelligence and that we can all learn to communicate. My son whose autistic show's me this everyday. He might not be verbal, but we find ways around to communicate. Be it pictures or sign language, that way he's not getting frustrated as easily and so he knows that he's not being isolated and not heard; and so he knows he has a voice.

It's important to remember that as caregivers to a severely disabled person, the government subsidies are maximized. Therefore reallly, there are no incentives for the family to seek out further beneficial aides, educational assistance or anything else that will help D. J. to use or try to various ways to communicate because it will just rock the boat. They've been given all they need in terms of functional assessment, which is D. J.'s life sentence of severe disability and intelligence of a toddler, so they feel no guilt in not trying to help him.

The other thing, it's pretty clear that Anna was in a position of power and trust and made a bad choice, a series of bad choices. And deserved to be held to account. However, I don't doubt her feelings and that D. J. shared them, and that their intimacy was consensual.

Further, it's a very difficult film but it's important. It sparks thoughtful consideration of many aspects at the intersection of race, disability and sexual consent. I do hope we all open our hearts and minds to the hidden lessons and wish all parties involved many blessings.

I do think that what Ana did with Derek is disgusting, I can't even imagine the scene in her office with him.

However, I am very angry at Derek's family too, including mother and brother.

Derek was masturbating, so what if he was? Doesn't he have the right to do so?

I know that being sexually abused can cause people to masturbate excessively and that's a different thing, but just because he is masturbating when he is 40 in an adult body and you still think he is 2 years old and can't forget going with him to hospitals doesn't mean he is not a human being with instincts and needs.

The brother was also often irrational being on mother's side and focused on defeating Ana at any cost. I felt very angry that they did not talk about how Derek was affected by all of this, the trial, and separation from Ana , because even he didn't love her the way Ana says, there was a bond and attachment created between them that I am sure caused him much distress and pain after separation.

And the fact that the jury or other people can't even imagine a severely disabled person being loved by someone who is not disabled or loving someone himself is very undermining of the worth of people with disability and their capacities.

As much as everyone wants Derrick to be a vegetable who doesn't mind being a virgin living with his mom until he dies, he isn't. Telepathy tapes justifies the professor and it's just sad the jealous brother got in the way of the love of his life. The brother got his way tho, he stopped the perpetrator and now he's brother can live by himself with his mom decade after decade not getting any of his sexual needs met and then age and die slowly always remembering Anna as this bright spot in his youth that could've blossomed him into the sun but now he gets to act like a vegetable to please his brother.

Stop attributing nonsensical gibberish to your clear malice which you clearly meant to inflict, AND STILL seem intent on believing. What Anne did to this man with the comprehension of a child is absolutely disgusting and beyond my ability to comprehend. What she did was clear and intentional manipulation by way of Florence Nightengale Syndrome- falling in love with someone you care for, but went into territory of illegality and manipulation.

I'll admit to having a pang of knowledge the minute it was cast on the screen that there was no admission of FC in the trial- while it's largely viewed as junk science by many of the prominent academics in society, it was still a crux of this case and should have been allowed to be heard and shown in order to shine a spotlight on her fraud. Rather than allowing her to manipulate his supposed conversation and intelligence, it should have been performed with Derrick by an outside source, accompanied by a double blind example as shown to see if he was capable or was obviously being manipulated to convey what she wanted. That her case was overturned and she took the option to plead to a lesser charge shows she knew what would be the outcome. Of course her mother and her friend took her side in all of this- but where were the people who were in Derricks corner, besides his mom and brother?

It's absolutely appalling that she still sees absolutely nothing wrong with what she did and what her behavior has left him with. It's quite clear merely by witnessing his mother discuss the need for medication due to his excessive masturbatory practices after Anne's disgusting behavior- how? Because his brain hasn't experienced any sort of pubescent behavior. Thereby introducing her deviancy into his subconscious, he began experiencing something unfamiliar, but pleasing. So as a result, he began behaving in ways that simulated the pleasure in other ways.

It's beyond insulting how these so-called 'white knights' think they're so necessary in saving black culture- and I've no doubt Anne pictured herself on the whitest horse, cloaked in goodness and godliness to somehow save Derrick- yet in her blatant disregard for facts and evidence, saw only her needs and her elevation as the most important factor. She was willing to completely disregard her own family-(husband, children) career and status to be seen as the heroine in her own story.

The most confounding part of all of this though- does anyone realize that Anne fell in love with herself? It's classic psychotic narcissist syndrome- she loves her own image so much that she projected it onto Derrick. That's beyond sick.