Love is Strange

LOVE IS STRANGE, a film, unaffectedly directed by Ira Sachs, is so natural and unassuming in its portrayal of relationships that the divide between audience and the characters on the screen disappears; we are directly slipping into their lives with the ease of familiarity. There is a formal beauty to the movie, thanks to the cinematography of Christos Voudouris - the way he captures each space - delineated not only through décor, but through the light which mutates with the atmosphere, very much like a Chardin still-life painting, classic in its grandeur and silence.

The plot revolves around two gay men who have lived together for 39 years and finally get married, a decision that will alter their lives in ways that are unexpected and transforming. We first meet Ben, a seventy-one year old artist, (John Lithgow in a breathtaking performance) and his partner George (Alfred Molina in an equally fine portrayal,) a music teacher in a Catholic school - both excitedly, and nervously preparing for the ceremony and the post- wedding party. From the moment we first view Lithgow and Molina singing a duet together - their voices and theatrics in synch and at odds - tender intimacy is apparent. Ira Sachs and co-writer Mauricio Zacharias have created two remarkably gentle and loving individuals, their intimacy and enduring connection, is both understated and powerfully passionate.

The consequences of ultimately legitimizing their union bear witness to the harsh realities that accompany that choice. Soon after the nuptials, George gets fired from his job, and the economic demands of existing in NYC, forced to sell the apartment in order to find more affordable housing, interrupts their former cadence of living. Having no alternative, George and Ben, temporarily separate to move in with friends and relatives till they can find a home of their own. Molina and Lithgow stunningly convey the anguish of living apart and the intense longing of being united again. It is as if one person is sliced in half – going through the motions, but not fully functioning without the other.

LOVE IS STRANGE also references the mysterious corridor of generational diversity - both fractious and enriching. The anxious, rebellious teenager slowly embracing life's uncertainties embodied by Joey, Ben's great-nephew in an excellent performance by Charlie Tahan who is likable, secretive and obnoxious – an eternal artifact of an adolescent's growing awareness of life's promises and aching discomforts. And approaching mid-life, are his parents - Kate (Marisa Tomei - a natural wonder) - a writer trying to meet the demands of motherhood and still do her own work and Elliot (Darren E. Burrows) a father too wrapped up in doing business (supporting the family?) to notice the splintering family dynamic. Tomei's facial expressions convey a woman's inner tug-of-war between being a caregiver and accomplishing her own ambitions, shifting from haggardly frustrated to a luminous empathy, particularly for the growing pains of her son on the cusp of adulthood.

Director Ira Sachs has given us a tone poem to the beauty, delight and fragility of living in a city - New York - dynamic, diverse and constantly changing, echoing the vicissitudes of life as we stumble through our own personal unfolding. A love story that has depth and endurance - delicate and supple, both romantic and mundane, LOVE IS STRANGE is wrenchingly lovely and generous, but also a reminder that nothing is permanent.

LOVE IS STRANGE is an interesting film, and one that will probably turn off a lot of viewers once they know what the concept is, but I thought it was a sweet portrayal of an aging couple who just happen to be gay. Alfred Molina and John Lithgow play Ben and George, a recently married couple who have been partners for 39 years. However, once Ben's employer finds out about his marriage (he is the music teacher at a Catholic school), he loses his job and the couple are forced to sell their apartment because they can't afford it anymore. In the meantime while they look for a new apartment, they have to live separately with family and friends. And therein lies the trouble: they haven't been apart in all those years of living together, and the film explores how it affects them emotionally as well as the people they stay with.

While watching this I tried to keep the title at the front of my mind at all times, but I still don't know quite how it might strictly apply. The closest thing I can come up with is George's nephew's family, who George ends up staying with. On the one hand, you have this aging couple who haven't been apart a day in their lives together who are now forced to be apart through circumstance; but then you have George's nephew and his wife who live in the same house with their son, and yet each of them feels separated from the other by the way they live their lives. George's nephew is a film producer who has long days away from home, while his wife (played by Marisa Tomei) is a writer who spends most of her time at home trying to write. And on top of that, their son keeps to himself a lot and spends most of his time with Vlad, his only friend at school. The general sense, or message, I got from the film is that it takes losing something to appreciate its true value.

Still, whatever it was all supposed to add up to I thought that the performances were excellent. I haven't seen John Lithgow and Alfred Molina this good in years, and they were very believable as a couple who had been together for so long. Marisa Tomei also did great work as George's nephew's wife. I should also mention the soundtrack composed mostly of Chopin, which I really loved. My favorite piece was the "Raindrop" prelude which plays a few times during the film, and my favorite use of it was during a private piano lesson that Ben gives to one of his students. I also appreciated the nods to Ben's religious faith, which never came into conflict with his personal life. Last, but not least, the cinematography and cityscape shots were extremely beautiful.

Still, there is one thing which lessens the film's impact in my opinion, and it has to do with the film's ending (of which I won't spoil the details). All I will say is that it feels more like an epilogue in the sense that there is a time jump (and something else) which came completely out of nowhere. It almost felt like they weren't quite sure how to wrap up the film, so they jumped ahead in an effort to give the story some closure. I didn't hate the ending, but I felt that maybe a different ending would have been just as good, possibly better. Still, I liked the film overall. It was a sweet indie drama that felt like a slice of life. On a side note, it kind of makes me never want to live in New York.

My partner and I were really looking forward to this movie - a story about a loving mature gay couple dealing with some harsh realities, played by some wonderful actors. While I found the acting to be generally good, the writing and direction were uneven and confusing. First the good: the two leads are wonderful and understated playing the gay couple who've been together for 39 years, now facing the realities of being temporarily homeless, and separated from each other. Now the bad: the whole premise of the movie, that this couple found it necessary to each find separate temporary living arrangements while trying to find a new apartment, stretched all credibility. I found this unbelievable, especially when they had the option to live together with a relative outside the city. For some reason, they felt it imperative to live separately in the city even though neither was now employed. The whole movie seems so contrived that it seems the writers chose almost any situation to advance the film so that it got to the ending that they had written, whether it made sense or not. The idea of two late 60s/early 70s men with no apparent savings/pension/income to be able to maintain their condo for at least a little while also stretched credibility - instead they selfishly share their predicament with relatives and friends and crash separately with them. The writers/director have created a story with so many holes and illogical story paths that I found myself annoyed and angry with the characters. John Lithgow's character seems oblivious to the fact that he is becoming an imposition to his nephew's family, especially to his nephew's young 15 year old son with whom he is sharing bunk beds. While I hardly expect everything in a movie to be sewn up neatly by the end, the writers introduced characters and story lines that the viewer was lead to believe mattered- but were dropped and never resolved. Who was the young boy's friend Vlad? What was behind the tension between the nephew and his wife? Why did Vlad and the young boy steal French lit books? What's up with the disco/party cops? Why the extended sob scene of the boy in the stairwell at the end? Has the movie become about him? A considerable time is spent on each of these items in the movie and yet there are no answers, and they don't seem relevant to what the story should have been about. A different director, one who was not also the writer, might have helped make this a better movie. I also couldn't help but think that this was a 2 hour movie that was cut to 90 minutes and the answers were left on the floor somewhere.

My wife and I were both moved and touched by this sweet sad drama of romance near the end of life's long and winding road. When a couple really complete each other's life it is a joy even when things turn rougher because that very important someone is there, next to you to divide the sorrows and multiply the joys.

But when circumstances beyond their control force them to separate briefly friends and families who offered to help become tested, tried and like most of us will fail at some point.

We are big fans of John Lithgow (we grew up near his home town and he's a local legend) and the great Alfred Molina and Marisa Tomei. The script, direction and performances were all like the music and art used in the film – wonderfully filling in all the colors of life.

As for it being a remake, the great comedy director Leo McCarey (Laurel & Hardy films, the Cary Grant screwball comedy The Awful Truth, An Affair To Remember, etc.) wanted to make a film about the problems of old age. Here is the plot description of Make Way For Tomorrow (1937), "At a family reunion, the Cooper clan find that their parents' home is being foreclosed. "Temporarily," Ma moves in with son George's family, Pa with daughter Cora. But the parents are like sand in the gears of their middle-aged children's well regulated households. As the days become weeks and then months, everyone gets stretched until they must except being separated permanently and go out for one last fling before saying goodbye forever."

Both films are wonderful dramas that ask us to treat each other with more compassion and civility – and to be prepared for the end.

Leo McCarey was nominated for an Oscar eight times and when he won Best Director in 1937 for The Awful Truth in his acceptance speech he said thank you but it was for the wrong film (meaning he thought he should have won for the more important feature Make Way For Tomorrow.)

I recommend seeing them both and then go and hug everyone you know and cherish while you can.

This Ira Sachs' follow-up of his strained relationship chronicle KEEP THE LIGHTS ON (2012) revolves around a senior gay couple in Manhattan, New York, Ben (Lithgow), an obscure painter and George (Molina), a music teacher in a Catholic school, after gay-marriage has been legalised, they finally tie the knot after 39 years together, their love has been blessed by friends and family, but the segueing repercussions cost George his post due to the obvious prejudice among those religious conservatives, and the unforeseen financial plight forces them to sell the apartment and live with their relatives and friends, yet as none of them have extra rooms for both, so they have to spend the transitional time separately.

The story unwinds with both encounter difficulties in their provisional homes, Ben is living with his nephew Elliot (Burrows), a photographer, his writer wife Kate (Tomei) and their teenage son Joey (Tahan), his inconvenient intrusion already ruffles Joey's feathers as they have to share a same room with a double bunk, moreover, the co-existence slowly but surely also tests the limitation of Kate's patience. In another side, George becomes a couch-surfer in their friends Ted (Jackson) and Roberto (Perez)'s apartment, however, the unashamed cliché is they are frequent home-party throwers, even when they have a friend sleeping on their couch.

Their situations are not too rosy, but admirably Sachs doesn't plunge the usual melodrama between them, after being each other's soul-mate and life-partners for such a long time, they reach the mutual coordination of understanding, respect and support, the story itself transcends the gay setting and sublimates into a hymn to universal love which only those very few can actually acquire in reality. Thanks to Lithgow and Molina's unforced but extremely moving performances, which potently fuels the final revelation with utter poignancy, and pretty unusually, in an extraordinary way. Rather than a tearjerker, the film more inclines to be a worshipper of love and respect even when in the time of loss, through a subplot of Joey's own wayward pubertal rebellion, we have the chance to glance at the real problem inside straight people's gay-friendly facade, the fight for equality and against discrimination is a protracted battle and there is no time for slackening.

I should also name-check Tomei for her brilliant turn as Kate, gallantly runs the full gamut from the one who gifts them an affecting ode about how Ben and George are exemplars of love for her and Elliot, to her final scene of a hysterical flare-up to vent her frustration and dissatisfaction, she is truly amazing.

Under the pervasion of classical music pieces, LOVE IS STRANGE is alternately heart- warming, heart-touching and heart-rending, Ira Sachs perfects his narrative strategy with more self-control and less on-the-nose intensity, and it turns out to be an unheralded gem not just from the viewpoint of LGBT genre, but a brutally honest take on senility and appeals for an authentic mutual esteem among each and every soul on the earth.