User reviews

A British guy trying to make a connection with the conservative Chinese mother of his deceased partner; the theme and the gloomy cinematography make you sad even before the story begins to unfold. Communication is the main problem over here. They somehow manage with the help of a translator, and I like how they sometimes say things and then tell the translator not to translate it (because they realise how it would sound). This leads to few funny moments occasionally.

The movie has a really good start, but after halfway through, the Director/Writer loses his way; it seemed as if he's not sure as to where to take the story. By the time it ended, I felt dissatisfied; the story should have been longer or the characters should have been explored and developed a little more.

The two leads, Ben Whishaw and Pei-pei Cheng, give quite strong and incredible performances; they have a few immensely moving scenes. And it doesn't hurt that Andrew Leung, the actor playing the deceased partner, is quite handsome; he and Ben looked quite good together, which makes his death even more painful.

The conversations the two lead characters share are quite moving and thought-provoking, and the monologue Junn has towards the end on the essence of grief and crying is really beautiful. Let me quote the most effective lines from it: "These memories are all I have; I need to keep them vivid, or they'll fade like the face of my husband. I want to dwell on these memories and cry over them because they comfort me. Through plenty of crying, I've learnt to be content that I won't always be happy, secure in my loneliness, hopeful that I'll be able to cope."

The movie is depressing, yet uplifting, but somehow I feel, it failed to reach its true potential.

Junn (Cheng Pei Pei) is a widowed Cambodian-Chinese woman who lives in an old peoples home in London, placed there by her only son Kai (Andrew Leung). With no other family, and having left Cambodia over 50 years ago, Junn is alone and unwilling to adapt to her surroundings or the people she's placed with.

She relies on Kai's attentions and affections, but her isolation becomes utterly complete with his unfortunate death. Junn knew that Kai lived in a house with Richard (Ben Wishaw), but Kai hadn't told her they were together as a couple. Grief-stricken himself, Richard feels duty-bound to help Junn, but they don't even share a common language let alone know much about each other.

Alan (Peter Bowles) resides at the home too and starts an unusual relationship with Junn where they talk to each other in their own languages, not really knowing what on earth the other is thinking or talking about apart from physical gestures. Richard tries to help this sweet pairing by hiring a translator in Vann (Naomi Christie), so that they can communicate with each other. Its a way in for Richard to get closer to Junn, who has her own reasons for disliking him.

'Lilting' is the debut from writer-director Hong Khaou, who shines a light on contrasting cultures in the capital. Grief is foremost in the minds of all concerned, Wishaw is wonderful as the achingly suppressed Richard, who gradually releases his grief the more he gets to know Junn, showing her just how much he loved Kai. Pei Pei plays the stoic mother perfectly, you can see the isolation, love and grief in her eyes.

In light of the subject matter, the overall mood of 'Lilting' is quite forgiving. Junn and Alan provide the most endearing moments as well as some awkwardly comical scenes especially when they confess their bad habits to each other. Dealing with such weighty issues as love, memory, language and mourning, Khaou has directed an assured and thoughtful film full of subtle releases and deeply felt emotions.

This is the debut feature film for Hong Khaou, and being of Cambodian descent, I imagine this movie may be semi-autobiographical, though that is obviously pure speculation. This interesting little film (running on an insanely low budget of 12,000 pounds if I am not mistaken) is about a Chinese-Cambodian elderly woman, Junn (veteran actress Pei-Pei Chang), who has just lost her son Kai, not long after he put her into a home. He was gay, but could never bring himself to tell his mother. This was the reason she ended up in the home and not living with him and his boyfriend Richard (Ben Whishaw).

When Richard enters the fold initially he seems like a stranger, at least as far as Junn is concerned, and to make it harder, he can't communicate with Junn as she can speak 8 different dialects, but refuses to learn English despite living in the UK. Despite their differences, despite the overwhelming obstacles to hurdle, Richard is not intending on giving up trying to talk to his partner's mother. They share the same pain, but Junn has no idea of this. Since Junn doesn't know about the same-sex relationship her son was having, Richard's job becomes at least twice as tough, as he has to act as Kai's 'best friend', trying to connect with Junn that they both are sharing the same misery, the same loneliness and sense of loss after losing a loved one.

Along the way Junn meets a gentleman who is also a resident at the home. Playing an amusingly dry old codger, Peter Bowles as Alan is smitten by Junn, yet they have no way of truly communicating. Richard rectifies this by hiring a translator, which helps both Alan and Richard as it opens up a dialog between the different parties, for better or worse. Richard continues to go to endless lengths to try and communicate and help Junn overcome her son's death, as unwilling as she seems, as well as trying to help negotiate the problems Junn and Alan are having; it seems the possibility of a relationship with Alan may be slim. And so the story goes, moving from this premise into emotional territory where each character's decision is not easy, and someone as stubborn as Junn makes life difficult for Richard and the translator he has to help smooth the process… Which doesn't go as smoothly as planned.

This film is extremely depressing at points and heartwarming at others. It is nice to see a film with a real heart without dipping into overly sentimental trite. The true unforgettable message that this film gave me was how it illustrated how culture can truly alienate us; from loved ones, from people who want to help. But at the same time, it highlights elements of the human condition that transcend culture, such as family, or music. I didn't think I'd enjoy this as much as I did, it isn't my type of film really. But I really liked it. Probably also because I have seen how truly heart-breaking it is to make that decision to put a parent/grandparent in a home really is. It ain't pretty.

8/10 - If you aren't looking for action, and are interested in watching a more thought-provoking movie that really will pull at your emotions, check this one out. The absurdly low budget is not noticeable at all, especially given the quality of the production, from the perfect sequence of scenes, to the subtle but interesting photography work and the minimal but effective soundtrack.

This isn't a film that I will revisit immediately, unlike many others than have been released this year. But I know that a time will come where I suddenly will have to put this on. It is a powerful, emotional film that subtly comments on the differences of cultures and/or language, the stigma that is still attached to same-sex couples, especially among older, more 'traditional' people, but most importantly, a few key scenes show us that differences in culture, in language, in beliefs, can be transcended, and no matter what the barriers between communication may be, humanity can prevail.

It is not impossible to share true, meaningful moments with someone who cannot speak a word of your language. This film excels at showing this, linking us all as human, no matter our colour, our culture or our beliefs.

more than a film, a gem. touching, seductive, poetic, delicate, a kind of spring morning. a film about fundamental small things. but not only the script is special but the rare and impressive art to use the right measure. because it is a gentle job, splendid for music and for the nuances of acting, for image and for the translation of clash between worlds, the form of memories, the silk touch, the great job of Pei+Pei Cheng.a film who has an unique delicacy , maybe not great but useful for each scene. a kind of dance with a spectacular choreography. it is difficult to define more than a happy discover. so, see it. it could be one from expected films.

Echoes of Wong Kar Wai resonate beautifully throughout this very moving and understated, and yet very funny film. It can be viewed as a study in grief and cross-cultural misunderstanding or even prejudice. Two people try to comes to terms with the death of the person they each love the most. They are on conflicting sides of desperate love triangle. Each seeks recognition, and each needs to place their love in, an unexpected, context. Each needs to be understood.

In many Wong Kar Wai films the actors speak to each other in different languages with seeming full understanding. It suggests a disjuncture between time, place and culture, where language, usually the unifying factor within the narrative, becomes the source of each character's isolation. Lilting is self-conscious in its language play and it works powerfully to both comic and emotional effect. This has the magic effect of bending time. Locations are practically sparse, but the film gives the feeling of having moved us quite literally around the world.

The film demonstrates that with translation, there is always something essential that is lost. This might be cultural sensitivity, the feeling that we understand when, actually, we do not. Thus, it questions the assumptions we all make. It might also be the feeling that we know something or someone when actually we do not.

This may sound a heady, difficult mix. Far from it.

The film is beautifully shot, and again we experience something of the camera work of Christopher Doyle (Wong Kar Wai's leading cinematographer) in the delicate and soft palate of colours, and subtlety of framing which are as evocative as the language play in evoking mood and location. Nothing is wasted in this film. Even landmark pieces of music (another Wong motif) sit perfectly within the cross cultural narrative.

This is a film I will watch again and not simply for the references to Wong Kar Wai, It's a seamless depiction of loss in a world of seeming falling borders.

I hope you enjoy the film as much as I have.

This is a gem. I wouldn't have watched it unless I had been taken. (Thank you, Beryle.) If it had been on TV, I might have watched some of it, but that is the joy of cinema. You have no distractions. I thought it might be depressing; it wasn't. I thought it wasn't my sort of film; it was. Thought-provoking.

It was easy to forget that you were watching actors. The performances were that good and very moving. It was very much like a French film.

It was interesting how much back-story was left out and yet it still worked. I asked myself a few questions because I wanted to know more. (Perhaps I felt I could help.) Where were we? (North-east London/Essex?) How long had she lived in England by depending on her husband and son for all communication with the outside world? What did people do for a living? Where did the translator come from and was she being paid? Without her son would she at last break out into the world? However I realised the back-story didn't matter. It told you all you needed to know. The nub was all that mattered: an insight into communication, memory and grief. Some things have to be said and some things are perhaps best left unsaid. The characters kept asking the translator not to translate after they had said something because they had time to see the effect it would have, (something that does not happen with a common language) but even the translator could not help but get involved.

You could speculate on a happier outcome but the final scene where she drifted back to the last meeting with her son perhaps indicated it would be a while yet before she could move on.

Very, very good.

Hong Khaou's debut film Lilting offers a very interesting 'lost in translation' dynamic. What do you get when you put a homophobic elderly Chinese woman in the same room as her deceased son's boyfriend who feels a responsibility to her? Ben Whisaw and Pei-pei Cheng are terrific as the pair. Unfortunately the film is littered with flaws in its lack of restraint despite the limitation. It's very stilted in delivery, it makes an unwise decision to try to include the translator character into the drama without fully committing to her and it's tonally awkward with the comedic relief of the elderly woman's new boyfriend. Ghost characters reek of student film. Nevertheless the aesthetics are lovely with beautiful saturated wide angle cinematography and although it's slight in its runtime it's powerful in its tragedies, frustrations and ultimately the bonds forged. I'm sure Hong Khaou will continue to deliver poignant work and hopefully shred the inconsistencies.

7/10

Whishaw excels as the boyfriend of a deceased Chinese man, whose mother lives in an house for the elderly. Cheng Pei-pei (the mother) is at least equally brilliant. The story is about the two of them slowly coming closer and manage (or perhaps learn) to accept each other's existence in the deceased life.

Although the plot is a bit thin leaving several question marks as to why for instance thinks came to the present state (especially for the mother), the main actors' performance makes up for it. There are some repeating scenes (rather annoying in my opinion, since they do not offer any additional resolution), and there is a slice of overdramatization, but the film manages to not cross the line over to being kitsch. The cinematography is a mixture of western and asian styles, for the westerners with a tendency to sentimental exaggeration, for asians with a portion of bluntness. What I also missed was at least some reference to how they both dealt with the death. The film is namely all about the interaction between the two of them.

In any case, I found the film worth watching, but be warned, you might wanna have a handkerchief nearby.

I was a big fan of writer-director Hong Khaou before I saw this wonderfully touching movie. I had loved his award-winning short films SUMMER & SPRING. They were both original and funny and moving. Neither of those works, however, prepared me for the depth and beauty of LILTING. This movie is heartbreaking but it is also truly life affirming. The writing and directing by Hong are stellar. The editing and music are spot on. And the acting is glorious. Ben Whishaw continues to astonish. Legendary actress Pei-pei Cheng gives the performance of her career. She is glorious.

I highly recommend this lovely gem of a film. Bravo to all involved.

Absolutely loved this movie. As a Australian Chinese with a family who speak a language other than English, this movie made me appreciate my relationship with my partner and his relationship with my parents even more. The music combined with the cinematography evoked profound emotions in the viewers. Ben Whishaw and Cheng Pei Pei gave stellar performances. The story is well told without too many dialogues, the acting says it all. Somethings are better left unsaid. Love it a lot!!! Watched it twice already and still want to watch it again!! It is quite a hidden gem. Glad I found it. Reminds me of another Asian gay themed movie called "Saving face" but a lot more sombre.

Though being generally positive about this film, I must admit upfront that I had problems with its use of flashbacks featuring the deceased Kai. I only understood afterwards on the way home what I missed, while apparently easily picked up by others whose reviews I saw. The first example is the scene with Kai and Junn, shown twice, the first time ending when someone entered the room to replace a light bulb but does not see Kai, making clear for most viewers (apparently, but not for me) that Kai existed only in Junn's mind. The second appearance of this scene ended before the bulb-change person entered, so I had no chance to reconsider. Kai died some time ago, and I only knew that from reading the synopsis beforehand, and a virtual visit like this one was Junn's own way to keep the reminiscences of her son alive. A second example where I missed the obvious were the scenes with Kai and Richard at home, apparently (again, in hindsight) happening in the past, where they talk about living together with or without Junn, in either case how and when to reveal the true nature of their gay relationship. Rationally speaking (again, while looking back), it is abundantly clear that these flashbacks were inevitable to clarify the respective relationships. Yet I think there could have been thought of other ways to accomplish that, without hampering our chronological narrative way of thinking that usually works best. The way it is done now feels a bit artificial, and it hampered my viewing experience. I am prepared to admit that the latter can be my fault altogether.

Perfectly clear throughout the whole running time is that Junn and Richard belong to two different worlds. There is much more than merely a language barrier that withholds them from really communicating. The interpreter he hired, Vann, dismisses Junn's lack of knowledge of the English language, calling her a "lazy bitch" which was obviously a common phenomenon under female immigrants. On one hand they could depend on their spouse or children to interface with the outer world, and on the other hand it demonstrates Junn's bland refusal to adapt to the world where she lived in for many years. That also explains how the English way to take care of the elderly, being very different from her own traditions, stood between Junn and Kai for a long time, in spite of Kai repeatedly saying that the home for the elderly she was put in, was just a "temporary" measure. Anyway, Kai did not have to cope with a language barrier, and still failed to drive the message home, particularly as he kept postponing a decision to explain the real relationship between himself and Richard, fearing she would not understand and working disruptively on the relationship between mother and son.

A nice find is the introduction of Alan as Junn's would-be lover. They "dated" several times before, both without understanding a word what the other was saying. This courting formed an excuse for Richard to hire Vann as an interpreter, fitting nicely his own hidden agenda to come closer to Junn. The relationship between Alan and Junn changes as soon as their communication improved. It brings several differences to light, some not so important but others seemingly insurmountable. Junn is not the modest passive woman we assumed at first sight; she can make her position very clear when felt necessary.

The final scene demonstrates hope for their future. Junn and Richard seem to be able to communicate without interpreter Vann translating each sentence (this is rather implicit, but even I understood by virtue of their body language). We see a mutual trust and understanding growing between the two when exchanging sentences, in spite of not really knowing what the other was saying. I must admit being a bit lost during this final scene. It took some time on the way home to grasp all the things that were shown implicitly. The preceding scenes were abundantly clear in comparison, but this one needed some afterthought. We can imagine for ourselves how their relationship is about to continue, this being left as an exercise for the viewer.

Superficially speaking, the subject of LILTING resembles that of LOST IN TRANSLATION (2003), as Junn, a Cambodian Chinese mother (Pei-pei Cheng) living in London mourns the loss of her son Kai (Andrew Leung), while trying and failing to communicate with those around her. Kai's boyfriend Richard (Ben Whishaw), wants to help her, and engages the service of Vann, a translator (Naomi Christie) so that communication between himself and Junn might be improved. Meanwhile Alan (Peter Bowles), an elderly man, embarks on his own pursuit of Junn's hand.

However Hong Khaou's film looks at the difficulties of communication at a much deeper level than the purely linguistic. He invites us to reflect on the wisdom of Kai's decision to put his mother in sheltered accommodation, whose dingy décor is designed to make elderly people 'feel better.' Despite Richard's basic kindness and his protestations of endless love for Kai, we wonder whether he actually understand what either Kai or Junn actually think. Maybe it's not really necessary to hire a translator: communication between individuals can take place at a subliminal level. Vann does her best to act as an intermediary between Junn and Richard, or Junn and Alan, but it's clear that her role is a peripheral one in the drama of familial relationships across cultures.

Shot in deliberately dark colors, LILTING depicts a world whose protagonists live in perpetual isolation, both literal as well as psychological. Junn's sheltered accommodation is both dark and prison-like; her fellow-residents seldom communicate except in clichés (Alan included). Richard's apartment is full of long, brick-lined passages; his kitchen is full of dirty cutlery, suggesting a fundamental inability to cope with life.

Our relationship with the two central protagonists is a complex one. Whishaw tries his best to render Richard a sympathetic character, but the more effort he makes to try and bridge the cultural differences separating himself from Junn, the more frustrated he becomes. His final outburst, where he accuses Junn of failing to "assimilate" to contemporary British cultures, is a classic colonialist statement, leaving us to reflect on why he himself did not do more to adapt himself to her mores. By contrast Junn remains both silent and serene; her final soliloquy reveals her determination to continue her existence, despite the prospect of future loneliness. She does not need to "assimilate"; she has found her own way to negotiate the culture she inhabits.

Modestly budgeted yet memorably staged by a director with an obvious affinity for the material, LILTING is an absorbing cinematic experience.

Richard and Kai had been in love and living together for four years. Kai's widowed mother, Juun, although resident in England for many years, had neither assimilated in anyway nor had she acquired any ability to communicate in the English language. At one point, when relating her personal history, she explains somewhat sarcastically that five years after her husband and she had emigrated from Cambodia, "we were English."

While she is very much dependent on her son, she is supposedly unaware that he is gay and living with Richard in a relationship that is much more than a Platonic friendship. Kai places his mother in a senior home where she feels very much abandoned, betrayed and isolated. This arrangement is stressful to them all, especially because both his gay relationship and his apparent dumping of his mother in order to stay alone with Richard are at even greater odds in terms of Asian cultural expectations with regards to family. After much hesitation and worry, Kai invites his mother to come to his home to meet Richard and he plans to use this visit to "come out" to her. When he sets off to collect her from the seniors' facility and to bring her back to his home, he is killed in an accident.

Richard feels compelled to meet her and to help her find a way to get on with her life without her son to support her. He also feels that she needs to understand that Kai's death meant more to him than just the loss of a friend. Communication between Richard and Juun and between Juun and other residents of the home is virtually impossible, accentuating her isolation and further complicating Richard's desire to help her cope without Kai, as well as his wish that she understand what Kai's loss means to him.

A young woman becomes involved as a Cantonese/English translator to facilitate communication both between Richard & Juun and between Juun & Alan,a male resident of the seniors' home who wishes to develop a romantic long-term relationship with her. Obviously the translator's presence is meant to further emphasize the divide that exists between Richard and Juun as well as between Juun and everyone else.

While I understand that the difficulties of different cultures and languages between Alan and Juun were meant to even further underscore her isolation while an ever-present translator stands between them and the constantly hovering Richard floats about, it seemed that adding that complication to the mix was a somewhat heavy-handed, distracting and unnecessarily time-consuming addition to the story development.

It also seemed that Richard's character was inconsistently hesitant & often irritatingly inept most of the time, but occasionally overly angry and petulant, especially when it appeared the relationship between Juun and Alan was off. I understand that he was, in part, trying to be surrogate son in his effort to settle Juun into a life independent of her now absent son, but there might have been better ways to demonstrate Richard's frustration and despair.

It was a moving, calculated attempt to take on the complications of a man trying to juggle both a "modern" gay relationship while maintaining a traditional family relationship made all the more difficult by language & conflicting cultures, but I think it might have been better achieved with more time spent allowing us to see Richard and Kai during their relationship while they tried to come to terms with Juun as a factor in their lives. Alan could easily have been eliminated from the plot by assuming the viewer was capable of understanding Juun's isolation and dependence without having it beaten to death and dragged out to the extent that it was.

I have watched this movie several times and every time I tremendously enjoyed it: its theme, its ambiance, its atmosphere, its actors, its camera, its music, its dialogues, its editing, and most of all its directing…

For me, this is really a marvelous piece of art, so gentle, emotional, responsive, so well-balanced and, hence, so… beautiful!

This movie is the best example that a gay relationship and all contradictions with respect to it can be represented in a discrete, dignified and distinct way.

This is what makes this movie so different from all the others with a similar theme. Simply excellent: 10!

This film tells the story of a white male meeting his late boyfriend's mother for the first time. This is complicated by the fact that the boyfriend's mother is Cambodian Chinese, and does not speak any English. With the help of a translator, they get through the language barrier - but not the cultural barrier.

"Lilting" is an ambitious attempt to portray the cultural differences at play in a modern relationship. The story places a lot of emphasis on the filial duties of a Chinese child, and the anger of the mother whose son does not fulfill the supposed filial duties. This is surely mystifying to Western viewers, and the film does not really explain it that clearly. As I do understand this cultural context, I empathise with the story.

Two things that bug me though, is that Kai looks so Caucasian. I have huge trouble in believing that he is only a quarter English. The second thing is that the mother says he feels lonely during Christmas, which is clearly a line aimed at Western viewers because she would the most likely not be celebrating Christmas. She would be way more likely to feel lonely during Chinese New Year.

Overall, "Lilting" is not for everyone. The pacing is slow, but if you understand the cultural subtext then you will empathise with the story a lot.

Directed by Hong Khaou, this is a quiet, reflective film about the shared grief between a mother who has lost her son, and the son's lover. Set in London, Cheng Pei-pei plays a Cambodian/Chinese immigrant, who, despite several decades of residence in London, has never really assimilated. Her son, played by Andrew Leong, is killed in an automobile accident. His lover Richard (Ben Whishaw) tries to help and console the mother as he deals with his own grief. But the mother, who lives in an assisted living facility, resists him. She's never learned English and only finds out after her son's death that Richard was more than just her son's friend. Lilting is a beautiful, sensitively shot film about how the inability to communicate exacerbates grief.

Hydrangeas has two meanings in the language of flower. The flower was seen three times: twice mentioned its name by Kai, once shown at the end in which the mother was narrating.

One is the coldness/heartlessness and this represents the mother's hatred toward Richard or dissatisfaction caused by Kai at the beginning of and the middle of the movie.

Another meaning, is the giver's appreciation for the receiver's understanding: "Thank you for understanding." At the end of the movie where the mother and the flower were shown together, the flower tells the change of the mother's feeling and now the mother accepts what she faces. Thus, you might sense Kai's appreciation.

This sounds sort of distorted but I like to stick to this idea because it is simply beautiful.

Hope this surprises you.

it is the basic ingredient. for looks, for gestures, for discover the film more than a gay story or clash between different cultures.because it has the gift to become translation of the history of the viewer. in the case of Lilting, the grace of image defines not only pieces of a puzzle but the rhythm of yourself discover. because it reminds profound relationships, the force of the past, the fears, the forms and nuances of love, the expectations, the role of the other to define things, words, decisions. a film about the transformation of solitude in a subtle friendship. delicate. impressive, touching and delicate. a film about escape from yourself. mark of a real interesting director.