- Timothy McGee: Last I heard, you were teaching computational evolutionary biology.
- Stewart Dorfman: Was. Burned out, man, but I found my calling: trash! Crazy, huh? Hey, you know you can learn more about mankind by what it throws away than you can in any classroom? What are you doing, Timmy?
- Timothy McGee: I'm a federal agent, NCIS.
- Stewart Dorfman: Shut up, no way!
- [McGee shows his badge]
- Stewart Dorfman: Whoa, you're packing a gun!
- [to DiNozzo]
- Stewart Dorfman: This was one crazy dude in college, really knew how to have a good time.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Shut up, no way!
- Stewart Dorfman: Did he tell you he was the school mascot?
- Anthony DiNozzo: No, what was the MIT mascot?
- Timothy McGee: It really doesn't matter.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Oh yes it does. Stewy?
- Stewart Dorfman: A beaver. He was Tim the Beaver our senior year.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Please tell us you dressed up like a beaver.
- Stewart Dorfman: Of course he did.
- Timothy McGee: Listen, Stewart, we're trying to track down a batch of shredded currency that came from the Bureau of Engraving and Printing on May 2, 2011.
- Stewart Dorfman: May 2, 2-0-1-1? That'd be in... G sector.
- [points]
- Stewart Dorfman: And by now about 30 feet under. We had a break-in that night. Police came to investigate, shared a laugh... what would anyone steal from a dump?
- Timothy McGee: [trades a look with Tony] I think we may have the answer.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. I know you're a smart guy, Stewie, but how do you remember the exact date of the break-in?
- Stewart Dorfman: [surprised] Everybody remembers where they were that day. Don't you? It was the night the Navy SEAL team took out bin Laden.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Check out his credit score.
- [347]
- Anthony DiNozzo: It's lower than McGee's self-esteem in high school.
- Timothy McGee: Where's your dad going?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Going? Oh I wish. He's coming... here. He says he wants to spend Christmas with me.
- Donald Mallard: [stalling for time] You must understand how difficult it is to lift a fingerprint from a body that has been exposed to the elements for so long a time. First, you must carefully remove the dermis.
- [demonstrates by cutting a fingertip off a latex glove]
- Donald Mallard: Then, using your own gloved hands, you spread the dermis over a corresponding finger.
- [demonstrates with the latex tip]
- Donald Mallard: Roll it in the ink and then on paper.
- [demonstrates]
- Secret Service Special Agent Ashley Winter: And have you been able to ...
- Donald Mallard: -- I first used the process when I was in India. Yes, in the city of Allahabad.
- Secret Service Special Agent Ashley Winter: Dr. Mallard, cut the crap.
- Jimmy Palmer: Don't take this the wrong way. Dr Mallard. I love my job, I really do, but I will never get used to the smell of a decomposed body.
- Donald Mallard: Ah, yes.The pungent bouquet of hydrogen sulfide and methane,
- [sniffs the air]
- Donald Mallard: with a faint hint of corpus mercurium captans.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Look what I found under the tree.
- Timothy McGee: Oh, the family ring.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Mm-hmm.
- Ziva David: It's beautiful.
- Anthony DiNozzo: That's why he was here. He wanted to make amends, and I blew it.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [buzzer to MTAC] That's Abby.
- Donald Mallard: May I see it?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. It's got a diamond.
- Donald Mallard: You know, the origin of signet rings dates back to ancient Mesopotamia. Royalty used them to authenticate and seal documents.