Tornades de pierres

Right from the very beginning you know what you are getting yourself into here and knowing what you are going to get. I mean, with a title like "Stonados", isn't it rather obvious? And only on the SyFy Channel would something like this see the light of day.

"Stonados" is most definitely not amongst the top notch of disaster movies. Far from it, actually. Why? Well, the storyline itself was just rubbish, there was no motivation, no properly coherent red thread throughout the movie. It all just seemed like a bunch of randomness put together and it turned out as this movie.

The dialogue in the movie was just plain bad. The actors and actresses didn't really have much to work with here. The storyline was against them, the dialogue was against them, and of course, the CGI effects were against them.

The actors and actresses themselves were actually doing good enough jobs with their limited material they had to work with. So thumbs up for that at least.

The entire movie just seems pointless and not very entertaining. If you enjoy disaster movies, then there are far better ones available, and amongst those even some also aired from the SyFy Channel.

Stonados (2013)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Silly but entertaining film from SyFy has Massacusettes coming under attack from tornadoes but these aren't your typical ones. No, these tornadoes have sucked up Plymouth Rock and now they are shooting large stones all over the state but even worse is that these stones blow up after a few seconds causing more damage. STONADOS is being called a rip-off of SHARKNADO but it should be noted that this film was made first and was set to air in April but due to the Boston Marathon bombing the station held its release. With that said, the film for the most part is pretty fun as director Jason Bourque manages to do a nice job at keeping the viewer entertained. I think it's always important not to let the action stop in a picture like this and the director doesn't let that happen and in fact it goes by pretty fast. The entire film has a very good pacing, which is a major plus and it also doesn't hurt that the entire thing isn't taken overly serious. The film offers up some better-than-you'd-expect performances from Paul Johansson, Thea Gill, Sebastian Spence, Jessica McLoud and William B. Davis. Another plus is that the special effects are slightly better-than-average but please don't go in expecting Oscar-winning work. The effects are all obviously fake but they're certainly much better than you normally see on SyFy. The one strange thing is that the gore level is at zero and I really don't recall there being a single drop of blood. I'm not saying this here is a bad thing but it's quite rare for one of these movies. Fans of the disaster genre should find enough here to keep them entertained just as long as they don't take it too serious or expect too much.

Realistic and cool movie. Good actors and great screening.

After the surprise success of Asylum's SHARKNADO, the current trend for these B-movie disaster/monster combos seems to be tornadoes mixed with something else. STONADOS has to be one of the silliest of these ideas, as it's a film where tornadoes are mixed with stones due to some ancient prophecy or some such. It's all nonsense anyway, because tons of people are killed when tornadoes lift debris off the ground and chuck it at them, so why bother with this whole stone angle?

Needless to say that this SyFy Channel production is pretty much devoid of any kind of originality or sense. It stars B-movie stalwart Sebastian Spence (CRASH SITE: A FAMILY IN DANGER) as a journalist who makes it his job to chase storms; inevitably he teams up with the usual group of officials/scientists/investigators to try to track down the menace before too many people are killed. William B. Davis (BEHEMOTH) also shows up as an old timer with a budgie in one of the film's many random sub-plots.

STONADOS is a mish-mash of disaster staples, all of them played out enthusiastically, if without much in the way of skill or discernible talent on the part of those involved. The CGI effects aren't quite bottom of the barrel stuff here, but they're still a far cry from those in THE AVENGERS, for instance. STONADOS is very much par for the course for this sub-genre.

You know what you gonna get when you start to watch these D-Movies (even worst than a C-Movie, which is already worst than a B-Movie...) :

Bad acting; Bad screenplay; Bad dialogues; Bad visual effects; Bad story lines; Bad editing; and stupid children;

To summarize : Bad...Everything!

Well folks, this thing has it all AND WORST ! In fact, the only good thing about this dud is it's length : 88 minutes. Short enough you'll think but you'll find yourself wondering what else you could've achieve in 88 minutes...

Stonados is so bad that I would prefer to get a colonoscopy instead of having to watch it again...

Yup! That bad...

Dice997