- Oren Little: I slept with Leah.
- Claire: Whoa. You did mess up.
- Oren Little: Well, the sex was actually pretty good, but...
- Claire: ...but you left immediately after. Right?
- Oren Little: How'd you know that?
- Claire: You think you invented men being assholes?
- Oren Little: Wanna watch some TV?
- Sarah: Sure.
- Oren Little: I don't watch animation, MTV, BRAVO, Oprah, reruns or sitcoms. What do you wanna watch?
- Sarah: Can we watch "Duck Dynasty"?
- Oren Little: What station is it on?
- Sarah: A&E.
- Oren Little: Sure.
- Oren Little: So, where are you all from?
- Selena: Texas.
- Oren Little: I have a list of 40 states I try to avoid. Texas is number 7.
- Oren Little: [Oren leaving Claire] "You know, I once heard someone say that every hello is just a goodbye waiting to happen."
- Oren Little: [picks up a picture frame] This looks like a Eugene.
- Leah: And what does a Eugene look like?
- Oren Little: Like someone who loved you.
- Leah: On a personal level, I consider you a disgusting pig.
- Oren Little: Guess that's a step up from being an asshole.
- Oren Little: I might have found somebody else who likes me, so you can die now.
- Claire: Who in God's name would be that stupid?
- Oren Little: My granddaughter.
- Leah: I'm a wanna-be lounge singer...
- Oren Little: ...with a shark for an agent.
- Leah: No, it's ridiculous. I'm 65, ugh!
- Oren Little: I've sold houses older than you, alright, and in a lot worse condition.
- Leah: That makes me feel good.
- Oren Little: What are you doing here?
- Luke Little: I don't know, I thought I should check in every death or ten years, whichever comes first.
- Oren Little: Would you like to do this
- [sandwich]
- Oren Little: yourself?
- Sarah: Only if you do it wrong.
- Oren Little: Don't give the dog human food. It teaches them how to beg.
- Sarah: You gave him mayonnaise bread.
- Oren Little: No, I didn't.
- Sarah: I saw you.
- Oren Little: You're gonna make someone a great wife someday.
- [first lines]
- Oren Little: [hikes up the hill in the cemetery talking to himself] You should get a discount if you die visiting your beloved. I don't know why you picked the hilltop. Not exactly like you can take in the view.
- Oren Little: Anyway... Happy Birthday Sarah.
- [places flowers]
- Claire: What's the matter?
- Oren Little: I messed up. I need a woman's perspective -and you're the closest thing too it.
- Claire: You always could charm me.