Lake Noir

I've seen a ton of indy horror flicks and this one ranks pretty low. You don't expect much out of most low budget films, but there is just no tension in this movie. There is seriously nothing happening for the first hour and ten minutes of this hour and a half film. No one dies, the "creature" (for lack of a better word) doesn't show up, nothing. Just a bunch of people talking about... well, nothing. It's as if you spied on a group of campers and listened in on their conversation for an hour or so. It goes nowhere. Just a bunch of talk about sex, food and booze. I can't imagine that there was an actual script because the dialog sounded made up and didn't even push the story along or help you understand anything beyond the surface of the cliched characters. There are so many plot holes and questions that make you wonder why the filmmakers never even tried to address any them. For example, why does a virgin girl clearly in her thirties need her mother's permission to go to the lake with her forty year old boyfriend? Why is this "creature" just killing random people, what's his motive? Why is everybody so cryptic and avoid just coming out and telling people why they shouldn't go to the lake, even when they're asked a direct question? And lastly, why are there multiple close up shots of the generic beers they're drinking? This was a film that might have been good if it was cut down to a 10-15 minute short. There's just not enough story or character development for a feature. A few boob shots and ten minutes of killing at the end isn't worth the hour and a half running time.

This film looked rather promising with the few 10/10 reviews left for it. After the group of kids met the locals, set up camp and learned of the Lakes dark past, I first believed that the film was inspired for a Deliverance meets Friday the 13th feel, trying to dig it.. my anticipation soon, so to speak, burnt down to ashes..

.. unfortunately, Lake Noir fails to both intrigue and entertain the campy blood thirst within you. Aside from its many kinky soft-pornesque scenes (the reason behind its lonely 2 star rating), cast and/or production made little effort as to create an interesting story and the suggested disturbia within it.

Boring plot, flat acting.. BAD!

What can I say about this film? It has 5 hot chicks 3 of which show their nice milkers, the monster looks really good, Its shot in a good scary location and the hillbillies look authentic. Other than that, Its a Super low budget film that runs a little slow, no real character development and pretty simple plot but if you are watching a low budget horror film for anything more than that then you my friend haven't been watching low budget horror films. For what this film is I give it a 10 it met my expectations and it was fun to watch while I was drinking beers with my friends, but mostly the part I like best about this film is that I'm in it and I want people to buy as many copies as possible and rent it as many times so I can go out and buy stuff and for that added reason I will tell everyone I meet its a good film.

This horror story plods throughout with the most unidentifiable characters one can find.

It's very sad really. I really think the actors and actresses tried hard, and acted well, considering they had the worst script one could come up with.

It's a lake, it's horror, a monster, human monsters, humans who speak lines that are awkward and poorly written, and like I said, totally alien to anything you ever heard. It's a classic "nobody speaks like that" script.

I can promise you that you won't be able to stay awake through one sitting, so it's bits and spurts you will see. The girls are very good looking, and that's supposed to be the selling point. Well, that's what posters and photos are for. Movies and TV are for entertainment to most people.

It's too dull to be depressing, though, so it does get two stars out of ten, instead of just one. The one star rating is for the usual formula of Hollywood hatefulness and depressing young men. Not that it wouldn't be depressing if you could stay awake through it, but you won't be able to stay awake through it.

I like indie flicks.

This is, without a doubt, the most awful movie I have ever experienced.

HOLY HELL. I am compelled to mail the actors, writers, and production crew and plead for the hour back of my life.

WOW.

The girls are pretty,and show boobs....mostly sub par boobs....but boobs nonetheless.

The acting was atrocious. Calling it acting is an insult to actors. YES i know it is low budget.

NO, that does not excuse it.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. Public advisory.