Coyote Woman

I've watched every Western genre film out there, but this one takes the cake as both the funniest and cringiest movie I've ever seen. I'm not even 20 minutes in, and I already can't believe what I'm watching. Did they just grab the actors off the street? Most of them deliver their lines with as much enthusiasm as a high school play. The script is unintentionally hilarious, and the acting is just as laughable. I actually thought this was a low-budget film from the 1990s, but to my shock, it's from 2024! The poor representation of Native Americans in the plot only adds to the disaster. It's no wonder the ratings are so low.

I read a media review on a horror website that said, "With its gritty aesthetic and powerful performances, Coyote Woman is poised to make a significant impact. Ruf has crafted a film that blends the brutal realism of historical events with the stylized violence of grindhouse cinema."

I couldn't stop laughing through that entire write up. I'm guessing the reviewer didn't actually see this amateurish piece of crap or she was paid to write her article or both.

Stefan "Make every shot a close up!" Ruf couldn't "craft" anything worthwhile if his life depended on it. And the only "significant impact" the film has is angering people for wasting two hours.

The review also said he was heavily influenced by westerns like Soldier Blue, Navajo Joe, Apache Woman, and Scalps. He may have seen those films, but he sure wasn't "influenced" by them based on what we see on the screen.

Right now it has 2.1 rating on IMDb and that still isn't low enough. Even if star Larissa Dali had been running around stark naked most of the movie, it wouldn't have helped this clunker (though it would have been nice).

Don't waste your two hours. Skip this.

I expected nothing, but I was hooked just 2 minutes in after checking my audio twice. You see, it's not a bad dubbing track - this is intentional, and so is every other fever dream choice. It was chaos. I absolutely relished it.

And yo ok I know this is Texas, but no amount of fever dreaming justifies the horrendous lip filler and chunky mascara, unless that was intentional too?

... Because that's even more hilarious.

TLDR - don't take it seriously! It's a script with a good sense of humor, especially if you like awkward shots. It feels like those OG westerns.

Extra stuff for word quota: What a surprise to see references to Blood Meridian here of all places! The acting throughout was great (I choose to believe the actresses acted cornily on purpose (god twice I was like "hold up is this a porn?"), but the men were believable), especially on the part of the Judge. He was an amazing cast for the monster! Actors who can convey that kind of creepy are a treasure.