- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Take three deep breaths. This is the only moment you need to be worried about. There's no yesterday. There's no tomorrow. There's just right now. You're not late for anything, and you're going to miss anything. You're exactly where you're supposed to be... and you're exactly who you're supposed to be. You're absolutely perfect. And whatever happens today is exactly what's supposed to happen... and if you want, I'll spend every moment with you for the rest of your life.
- Annie Bean: Okay. I want.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: You're going to have a wonderful day today. You don't have to be nervous about anything.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Okay. I'm not.
- Annie Bean: You promise?
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Yeah. Thanks buddy.
- Alex Dimitri: Hey, hey, Clint? Why don't you think of this gun as a microphone? When it's not in your hand, you shut the fuck up. Okay?
- Annie Bean: I'm just teasing you.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: I don't think couples can really tease each other. I think everyone pretends they can, but really there's always some kind of truth or judgment in there somewhere.
- Annie Bean: If you spent two years building your dream car, and then you started to notice that it was also the dream car of a certain type of person, like people who are - I don't know, let's just call them rapists out of convenience. If you started to notice that your peers were rapists, what do you think that says about the old you who built this car?
- Annie Bean: Honey, everything I need for L.A. would not fit in the trunk.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Sweetie, this car also came as a hardtop convertible. The whole roof slid into the trunk. The trunk was designed to hold the entire roof. Believe me. Your stuff fit in the trunk.
- Alex Dimitri: Now, I'm going to take your dog. But I'm gonna tell you something. It's not cool to wear those tank tops anymore. Unless you're wearing it ironically or something.
- Dude #1: [Referring to Yul's car] I bet this thing's got nitrous. This got nitrous?
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: No. Nitrous is for fags. It's got cubic inches.
- Debbie Kreeger: I went to state school. I went to football games and blacked out and got date raped. I had abortions. I worried too much about what my boyfriends thought. I got what I deserved. But that's not you.
- Annie Bean: I was just taking a couple of deep breaths. Someone recommended I try it when I'm nervous.
- Debbie Kreeger: You know what else works? Xanax. Oh, it's so good!
- Gil Rathbinn: You can't just disappear with that scumbag, all right? It's unacceptable. He's probably going to murder you and role-play with your corpse.
- Annie Bean: [interrupting gearhead talk] And the South will rise again.
- Sanders: God! you own that too?
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: You know what? It's a rental, actually.
- Sanders: Aren't they all?
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: I don't have a job. I don't have any friends. You don't love me anymore. So my word is really all I have going for me.
- Annie Bean: I don't not love you. I'm just terrified that I don't know you.
- [first lines]
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: You're not concentrating. I can tell. You're thinking about emails or text messages or handbags. Taylor Lautner.
- Annie Bean: You don't know that. You don't know what I'm thinking about.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: [in a whisper] Lautner.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Okay, I don't know the specifics, but I know it's some kind of useless racket that's keeping you from concentrating.
- Annie Bean: You don't know squat. I could be thinking about the cure for cancer. In fact, I may have just cracked it, and now you're trying to get me to erase it from my hard drive.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: You couldn't cure a UTI if you owned a cranberry farm.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Why are you upset?
- Annie Bean: You just look so stupid sitting there. So impossibly cute. And I don't even know why you like me so much.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: Oh, mama, I think you're stupid.
- Annie Bean: [about his car] It sounds like it's gonna break.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: No, it does not sound like it's gonna break. It sounds like is has 700 horsepower. All right? You're being a girl. Believe me, all dudes love how this car sounds.
- Annie Bean: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I'm in a 700 horsepower dude lure?
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: That's right.
- Annie Bean: Apologies. I had no idea.
- Annie Bean: Pull the car over. I think I'm going to throw up.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: I can't pull over right now or Alex is gonna shoot both of us.
- Annie Bean: Then fucking lose them, Charlie, so you can let me out!
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: I'm pissed that the one thing that makes me happy, the one thing that make this shit-hole town bearable, is leaving.
- Yul Perrkins a.k.a. Charles Bronson: We don't have time to bring in a mediator.
- Annie Bean: Charlie, I am not going to live with a man says "fag" and beats up guys on the side of the road. I'm not going to teach non-violence at a university, and then marry "Dog the bounty hunter!"
- [last lines]
- Sandy Osterman: I like you. I think you should work here.
- Annie Bean: [squeals] Ah! I would love to! Yes! I mean, definitely.
- Annie Bean: [Yul is speculating what race the rapist was] What does it matter what ethnicity the guy who raped him was?