Review by beautox

You know how the studios tailor the preview of other movies to fit the demographic and likes of the people in the audience? Well at the showing of Noah (it might have well been called Bill or George) we attended, there were trailers for Spiderman, Transformers, and some other been-there-done-that CGI opus. So right there, I knew this movie would have little to do with the Biblical character of Noah, and instead be another cookie cutter superhero movie designed to spend a zillion dollars and show the world how cleaver the film makers are. And then the film started, and my soothsayer abilities were confirmed. Nothing is more irritating than for a film maker to take a classic tale or movie, and then egotistically thinking they can improve it with gimmicks, a currently camp message, and of course the afore mentioned special effects. And that is exactly what Aronofsky does and fails miserably. Think A Star Trek kumbaya message coupled with loud booms and you've got this movie's modus operandi. So if you think you're going to get a retelling of the Bible story, even a telling with dramatic license, you'll be disappointed; if you just want mindless special effects, you will be happy; and if you want those special effects coupled to a trite and silly narrative, you'll be in heaven!