Everly

I've read all the reviews and I am not surprised by all the negativity. No frontal nudity, no talent blah blah blah. I watched this film because I wanted to look at Salma Hayek for 90 minutes. I wasn't expecting anything. Yes it was poorly written and some of the acting was cringe worthy but most of that came out funny, not unentertaining. I truly laughed out loud but not in a bad way. If not for the subject matter they could've called this a comedy and I would've been satisfied. The story line was one we could all be sympathetic to. If your a person who just wants to relax and see a movie then see this. I'll continue to be a Salma Hayek fan and I look forward to the time she is offered more meaningful roles. That time will come.

Since the start of the century or so, there seemingly exists an additional new sub-genre within the world of action/thriller cinema, which is best described as "Shoot 'em Up" films. "Shoot 'em Up", starring Clive Owen, itself is obviously a good example, but there's also "Crank", "Hardcore Henry", "Free Fire", "Taken" and this "Everly". You guessed it; - these are films with very thin plots and without any proper character development, but they primarily focus on non-stop violent action, excessively over-the-top gunfire action and a practically immeasurable body count. They are entertaining if you're in a completely undemanding mood, I reckon, but they are quite unmemorable as well. Moreover, despite all the action and bloodshed, these films are actually sort of boring, because they constantly repeat the same old "bang-bang-you-are-dead" routine.

The sole difference between "Everly" and the aforementioned titles is that the indestructible killing machine here is a woman; - and one of the sexiest specimens on the planet, I may add. In fact, one might even shallowly state that any film starring Salma Hayek in a tight and bloodied tank top is worth checking out, regardless of the quality. Hayek, pushing 50 but still looking as fit as a 28-year-old, depicts the private luxury prostitute of an Asian crime lord, locked up in a fancy apartment. One day, however, Everly decides she doesn't want to be Taiko's prisoner anymore. The film opens with a heavily injured Everly and a room full of dead Asian gangsters already. I feared the script would be another structural mess with flashbacks but, to my surprise, the plot simply continues from there onwards and Everly only takes on new and other opponents. She tries to reach her mother and estranged 4-year-old daughter, and she receives help from a slowly dying but remorseful Asian she refers to as "Dead Man". Apart from a few notable highlights, including the battle of the prostitutes and the sickening games of the aptly named The Sadist, "Everly" is mundane and passable. The violence is really graphic, but never shocking or even remotely upsetting because writer/director Joe Lynch ("Wrong Turn 2") couldn't decide if he wanted a serious or a light-headed film.

This is officially the most sadistic Christmas movie I've ever seen. ...So far. I mean, I haven't seen Black Christmas yet. So maybe that'll change once I see those movies.

My dad likes to ask me sometimes regarding action movies: "Is there a purpose to all this?" There IS no purpose. The whole movie is one big, fat excuse to slam a bunch of crazy action scenes at you. As an exercise in brutal violence, it succeeds. It's got style, and it's even got some genuinely funny moments of black humour to go along with it. The movie's premise is absolutely ridiculous and stupid, and laughably insane, but it plows through it with an almost completely straight face. In that respect, the movie is a deadpan masterpiece.

Anyway. Salma Hayek's acting, along with Joe Lynch's neat direction, are both too good for this type of movie. This is a modern-day exploitation film at its most blatant. This is Die Hard with Salma Hayek and the Yakuza. It's limited to one floor of an apartment building as a setting, and it's set during Christmas, and the main character is trapped in one room. Only unlike Die Hard, this movie has some truly cruel material to make you squirm in it. I mean wow.

Despite its flaws (and it has a lot of them) it was an entertaining movie. It's shallow, it's not all too smart, and for people with weak stomachs, it's pretty much unwatchable. Its low-budgetness isn't all that obvious unless you REALLY look for it, and most of its effects are refreshingly practical. It's nice to see blood squibs in action movies this day and age, instead of the regular old CGI clouds we're stuck with eighty (or ninety?) percent of the time. Salma Hayek hasn't been this good since Desperado, and that was freaking 1995.

I recommend any action fans to seek it out--unless, of course, you like some brains to go with your bullets, and/or you're not too keen on seeing the effects of swallowing battery acid. The rest of you should have a good time. Good times all around.

I'd put this movie on the same list as things like, Smoking Aces or Shoot em Up. The effects really aren't too bad, some pretty decent gore effects and more than copious amounts of blood, but all the gun play was surprisingly well done. Throw in a few unexpectedly touching moments, some rather clever lines, and you have a rather enjoyable movie. As long as you don't expect any kind of real plot at least. The most impressive thing about the movie is that 95% of it is all done in the same room, and not many movies can pull that off without having it get boring, but this one did.

As I said in the summary, it's a brainless bloodbath with a strong, sexy female lead. If you don't mind the gore and you just want something to watch, this one isn't a total waste of time.

Greetings again from the darkness. If only drive-in theaters were still the weekend hang-out of choice for teenage boys, this latest from director Joe Lynch would be the perfect second feature after some horror or slasher designed to generate oohs and ahhs through gross-outs (elevators and grenades are not a good mix).

After beginning with its most unsettling scene – gang abuse of a female (fortunately via black screen and sound effects) - the rest of the film plays just like an ultra-violent, hyper-speed video game. The two main distinctions here are that all of the action takes place inside a loft apartment, and the lead character is played by Salma Hayek. Having appeared in Desperado and From Dusk Til Dawn, Ms. Hayek is no stranger to wild action sequences, but here she carries every carnage-filled scene … all while slinking around in a silk slip or her favorite yoga pants.

Gun, knives, swords, grenades, chemicals and various other implements of destruction are brandished by Hayek, masked killers, greedy hookers, a SWAT team, and Hayek's ex-pimp/kidnapper. We even get a character called "The Sadist" (Togo Igawa) in one of the most straight-forward character names in movie history. There is even an attack dog named Bonzai that is well-trained in everything except the difference between a ball and a grenade. And therein lies the saving grace here … the movie has some absurd humor that prevents the ultimate tone of dread by such films as Saw. The humor isn't so much clever as it is outrageous … and it helps offset the gruesome and blood-filled body count (at least 20 in the first 20 minutes!).

Director Joe Lynch is more comfortable with horror films than action films, but it's clear he has a love with B-movies, and he is fortunate enough to have Salma Hayek front and center. The only way to watch this is with your brain shifted to neutral. The level of ridiculous is off the scale and includes too many "that makes no sense" moments to recap here. On top of all that, the action occurs around Christmas, and use of six traditional Christmas songs adds to the twisted humor that will probably keep you tuned in, despite your knowing better.