Everly

Greetings again from the darkness. If only drive-in theaters were still the weekend hang-out of choice for teenage boys, this latest from director Joe Lynch would be the perfect second feature after some horror or slasher designed to generate oohs and ahhs through gross-outs (elevators and grenades are not a good mix).

After beginning with its most unsettling scene – gang abuse of a female (fortunately via black screen and sound effects) - the rest of the film plays just like an ultra-violent, hyper-speed video game. The two main distinctions here are that all of the action takes place inside a loft apartment, and the lead character is played by Salma Hayek. Having appeared in Desperado and From Dusk Til Dawn, Ms. Hayek is no stranger to wild action sequences, but here she carries every carnage-filled scene … all while slinking around in a silk slip or her favorite yoga pants.

Gun, knives, swords, grenades, chemicals and various other implements of destruction are brandished by Hayek, masked killers, greedy hookers, a SWAT team, and Hayek's ex-pimp/kidnapper. We even get a character called "The Sadist" (Togo Igawa) in one of the most straight-forward character names in movie history. There is even an attack dog named Bonzai that is well-trained in everything except the difference between a ball and a grenade. And therein lies the saving grace here … the movie has some absurd humor that prevents the ultimate tone of dread by such films as Saw. The humor isn't so much clever as it is outrageous … and it helps offset the gruesome and blood-filled body count (at least 20 in the first 20 minutes!).

Director Joe Lynch is more comfortable with horror films than action films, but it's clear he has a love with B-movies, and he is fortunate enough to have Salma Hayek front and center. The only way to watch this is with your brain shifted to neutral. The level of ridiculous is off the scale and includes too many "that makes no sense" moments to recap here. On top of all that, the action occurs around Christmas, and use of six traditional Christmas songs adds to the twisted humor that will probably keep you tuned in, despite your knowing better.

This is officially the most sadistic Christmas movie I've ever seen. ...So far. I mean, I haven't seen Black Christmas yet. So maybe that'll change once I see those movies.

My dad likes to ask me sometimes regarding action movies: "Is there a purpose to all this?" There IS no purpose. The whole movie is one big, fat excuse to slam a bunch of crazy action scenes at you. As an exercise in brutal violence, it succeeds. It's got style, and it's even got some genuinely funny moments of black humour to go along with it. The movie's premise is absolutely ridiculous and stupid, and laughably insane, but it plows through it with an almost completely straight face. In that respect, the movie is a deadpan masterpiece.

Anyway. Salma Hayek's acting, along with Joe Lynch's neat direction, are both too good for this type of movie. This is a modern-day exploitation film at its most blatant. This is Die Hard with Salma Hayek and the Yakuza. It's limited to one floor of an apartment building as a setting, and it's set during Christmas, and the main character is trapped in one room. Only unlike Die Hard, this movie has some truly cruel material to make you squirm in it. I mean wow.

Despite its flaws (and it has a lot of them) it was an entertaining movie. It's shallow, it's not all too smart, and for people with weak stomachs, it's pretty much unwatchable. Its low-budgetness isn't all that obvious unless you REALLY look for it, and most of its effects are refreshingly practical. It's nice to see blood squibs in action movies this day and age, instead of the regular old CGI clouds we're stuck with eighty (or ninety?) percent of the time. Salma Hayek hasn't been this good since Desperado, and that was freaking 1995.

I recommend any action fans to seek it out--unless, of course, you like some brains to go with your bullets, and/or you're not too keen on seeing the effects of swallowing battery acid. The rest of you should have a good time. Good times all around.

As if I needed to convince you to see something that the legendary Salma Hayek is in. This woman is so hot, it's fire on the big screen.

The sexy MILF plays a whore who double crossed her pimp who's a Yakuza and sends everything he has after her in order to prevent her from seeing her daughter one last time and making sure she's safe.If you're a fan of Salma Hayek , you'll check it out.

For the two of you who do not like Salma Hayek (can't be more than that) The movie is satire on b-movie camp. It's very action packed and humorous, just filled with total amusement. A lot is happening in such a small space and the pace of the thrills continues throughout the whole movie.

I have to say, my only issue is, the type of genre this movie falls under forces me to think of such directors as Robert Rodriguez and his best mate Quentin Tarantino who's style would have brought something far better to the film. Sorry Joe Lynch, your directing style was OK, but I feel Salma should have made that call to her Desperado director buddy. It's the type of thing they do and your doing it on lesser terms.

Overall, the movie is a surprising action packed thrill ride that's fun to watched increased by the fabulous eye candy of Salma Hayek. worth wild movie going experience.

This is extremely gory and mindless. Not nearly as glorious as Kill Bill (of which one can't help but think).

This is just an excuse for lots of blood and shooting and cuts etc.

Can't figure out why the heroin doesn't just kill them all straight out (as she seems so good at it) instead of just waiting for the next team of useless violent jerks to turn up. Scenario-wise this is really poor. Do not expect any real twist, any intelligent decision, any verisimilitude.

For those of you who like stylised violence for the sake of it, you might spend the time, others just go straight to Kill Bill and don't waste any time on this unless you are really a Salma Hayek fan of course...

I've read all the reviews and I am not surprised by all the negativity. No frontal nudity, no talent blah blah blah. I watched this film because I wanted to look at Salma Hayek for 90 minutes. I wasn't expecting anything. Yes it was poorly written and some of the acting was cringe worthy but most of that came out funny, not unentertaining. I truly laughed out loud but not in a bad way. If not for the subject matter they could've called this a comedy and I would've been satisfied. The story line was one we could all be sympathetic to. If your a person who just wants to relax and see a movie then see this. I'll continue to be a Salma Hayek fan and I look forward to the time she is offered more meaningful roles. That time will come.