Alien Armageddon

I used to think that "Tomorrow When The War Began" was the crappiest film ever. But now there is a new contender. In fact it's no contest.

Who the hell... How the hell... What the hell... made this rubbish?

I'm trying to imagine the pitch to investors in this movie and I can only believe it was by the smoothest, slickest conman ever, to the most naive, gullible idiot ever. A match made in hell ... for the rest of us.

I'm speechless while writing. Think of the advert that annoys you most and then make that advert 90 minutes long. Tadah! Here it is!

Must rest now. My brain has been severely damaged. Must press zero ... on the ... rating button... before I pass... out...

(OK - enough ellipses already!)

This movie gave me the shits, and if you saw it you'd know what I'm talking about. I can't believe they wasted over $800,000 on this. That money could have been better spent helping out the indigent. I got suckered into watching this because of some flashy CGI, but once I got it running on my television, I wasn't 25 minutes into the movie where I shut the TV off and went back to my computer. I figure, if a movie can't hold my interest in the first 15 minutes, then it isn't worth watching the next 60 minutes or whatever. And this is coming from a guy who's watched every Godzilla movie ever made. So if I'm saying this is a bad movie, then you know it's bad.

When I was at home with nothing to do on a Saturday, I decided to give this movie a try. I never watch a movie without watching the trailer, but I guess thats not enough. The creators of this movie did something very smart; They put all the action packed scenes in the trailer with some pumped up music, and made it look like it was "worth the money". So I paid, and within the first 10 minutes of the movie I knew I had made a huge mistake. So the movie has a bunch of actors in it you have probably never heard of, and I was "ok" with that knowing from past experience you cant judge a movie by its actors. So the first thing I noticed about the movie within the first 10 minutes that the actors were not completely bad but it just didn't seem like the actors were putting much effort into the movie and some of the actors just seemed like they didn't know what they were doing. I had a smirk on my face but proceeded to keep watching the movie. After about 20 minutes I noticed something that really got me upset; The special effects were terrible. I kind of laughed at the fact that I could probably make a movie with better effects than this one.

After about 20-30 minutes into the movie I noticed that the lighting was bad, the set was bad, and the actors were just terrible. It reminded me of some of the short films I sometimes make with my friends. I just shut off the television by that point and got on my computer to see some of the IMDb reviews. This is how I discovered IMDb, and from that day k on I checked the IMDb reviews before watching a movie since the reviews on this site are very accurate. As much as I am tempted to rate this movie a 1, im rating it a 2 for the following reasons: The producers were smart enough to trick the people into thinking this movie was worth it with the trailers and plot, and if it weren't for this movie, I wouldn't know what IMDb is. The fact of the matter is, don't waste your money on this movie, you will regret it.

I didn't go into watching this movie with high expectations .. just hope. And sadly .. my hope was dashed to the ground. At least the boot didn't grind the hope into the ground.

The story line is not bad. Nothing new but a new way of combining various facets of the sci-fi universe the movie has made for our entertainment. (Yes .. boys and girls .. every idea in this movie has been used in print or TV or movies at least 50 years ago.) However .. the acting was leaden .. the special effects I could have done better on my desktop computer (ok .. I admit some of it wasn't bad) .. the dialogue ranged from okay to horrible (mainly just bad).

One good thing .. was the soundtrack and foley effects which weren't bad at all. One other good thing .. was the story progression. (Sorry that some people seemed to get confused over a relatively straight forward denouement of "the secret" behind the invasion.) That .. at least .. was the "something" that actually kept my attention enough to rate this turkey a 4.

Boys and girls .. this story was laid out like a detective story. Clues and information sprinkled along the way leading to the penultimate clarity of understanding. (P.S. That's also why the "troops" wore full head covers and botched up speech .. to keep you from figuring out a major part of "the secret" too soon.)

Never have figured out why shoestring budget sci-fi movies make a hand weapon that looks like it should weigh 50 lbs but is no different than an AK-47. (Suddenly remembers the tiny cricket from MIB and laughs to himself.)

The saddest part of all .. is that sci-fi does incorporate every type of story .. with sci-fi twists. But in the movies .. it seems the only sci-fi you get is the "action packed" drama. (Bug hunts) And that makes this movie a bit on the remarkable side. The detective sci-fi storyline is not commonly used in movies. (YOU are the detective.)

If you enjoy a movie that doesn't need to keep you on the edge of your seat or reaching for your weapon of choice to join the fight .. but instead like to be given things that make you scratch your head and wonder "what does that have to do with anything" .. you might enjoy this. Well .. if you can get past all the other bad parts .. then maybe.

Thank God I rented it instead of paying money to the movie theater. There is nothing about this movie that was worth watching. From the Story line to the acting to the special effects it was all cheesy. I love good sci-fi but this was not unfortunately. The box said it was a follow-up to Battlefield LA but they weren't even slightly the same. This movie suffered from budget problems obviously as most of the scenes must have been in an abandoned building of some kind. The acting, for the most part, was not any better than any high school production. The special effects weren't all that special and looked very amateurish.