- Captain Charles P. Davenport: Listen to me, you twisted cheese-eating gnome. While you've been sitting on your arse down here waiting for the sun to shine, we've been struggling to survive, in a remote cabin, with some Germans - and we did survive, most of us. And now, I have my lighter back, and that is the end of the matter.
- Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: [the first time he speaks in English] Nice shooting.
- Gunner Robert Smith: Did you just... speak?
- Gunner Robert Smith: Hey Skunky! How come you're not cold? Maybe you're too fucking stupid to feel cold.
- Gunner Robert Smith: I'm a man of principles. Wanna hear one?
- Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: No.
- Gunner Robert Smith: Do whatever makes you happy.
- Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: What about responsibility?
- Gunner Robert Smith: And what about the responsibility of being happy?
- Gunner Robert Smith: Put the gun down.
- Leutnant Horst Schopis: You put the gun down.
- Gunner Robert Smith: How did you get it?
- Captain Charles P. Davenport: It's a little complicated.
- Leutnant Horst Schopis: I'm willing to low my gun. If you do the same.
- Gunner Robert Smith: And end up in a German prison camp? No fuckin' thank you!
- Unteroffizier Josef Schwartz: Are we going home now?
- Leutnant Horst Schopis: Yes, we're going home now.
- Gunner Robert Smith: [after using a page of Mein Kampf as toilet paper] Hey Josef! I have to say, chapter two was a little rough on my ass.
- Unteroffizier Josef Schwartz: I'm gonna kill you!
- Gunner Robert Smith: What's your name, again? Me, Smith. You?
- [Strunk doesn't answer]
- Gunner Robert Smith: [shouting] What's your name?
- Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: Strunk!
- Gunner Robert Smith: [jokingly on how he impressed his girl] Right, I showed her my cock and she fainted.