Stockholm Bloodbath

Were they joking about this historical moment? Queen Kristina taking a girls SPA , while danish king attacks Stockholm? Native american as kings knight? Jokes like some of this did REALLY happened, yes we know. Comic book presentation of characters. Just did not feel serious, Come on, could be so much better with just the real story and native language swedish and danish and no stupid jokes and sarcasm. Walked out of the cinema at the end. How did the movie end? All the bad guys on the list dead? Girls with archers saved Sweden ? The Pope punished king Kristian? Danish army went home and never came back?

Had been looking forward to watching this but was sadly disappointed. I reckon this movie should be referred to as being "inspired" by historic events as following the actual historical story is very very thin. It could have been good and certainly with the list of known actors, what could possibly go wrong - well something apparently could. And whats with the modern music and dance in the middle of the movie ?? All in all I would say that the movie is not to be watched for historic accuracy but if you wish to see a rather weird and not very well put together movie to have something to do for a few hours then go ahead.

This could actually have been great if the aim was a coherent story about one of the most interesting and dramatic events in Nordic history,

Clearly made for a global Generation Z Netflix generation it aims big. It's loud, there's alot of swearing and frequent use of the F-word and the costumes, scale and the vibe is pretty much spot on.

But at the same time it doesn't trust its audience, meaning that danish and swedish actors all speak english, most with an accent. But why? To maximize the potential for it to be a hit when it hits streaming? This is a weird choice for a period piece, Actually it's as cringe as if Hitler spoke english in the epic germanmade movie called 'Der Untergang' ('The Downfall').

But I could forgive all that if I was engaged in the plot. But I wasn't. Imagine that... there's so much they could have done with this. So many directions and opportunites. They just had to stick to one clear narrative. Because one moment it's trying to be Game of Thrones, the next a Shakespearean drama and the next something entirely else.

It was like being served a main course with a steak, a cake and a piece of pineapple on the plate. Each indiviually great tasting it itself, but mixed together....

This movie was bad. It was very slow and tedious, except for the battle scene whitch lasted about 5 minutes and was the only good thing about the picture.

The 2 hours and 20 minutes that was left was watching a boring, slow movie who tried to be funny, horrific and dramatic all at once, but failed at all.

When you find yourself hoping it to end soon, about half way in, is a bad sign.

But it just keept on going on forever without anything exciting happening.

I don't recommend this to anyone, not even to Danes who might enjoy watching Swedish innocent farmers getting cut in half.

2 hours and 25 minutes later, and my life is a little worse after the experience.

Three stars awarded for the two leads who at least put up a decent performance, but that's about it.

It tries to be a bit Kill Bill, a bit A Knights Tale and epically failing at both. The script is either bad or non-existent. I get the feeling that the director just put up a series of half assed improv-sketches in costumes and cut them together to resemble a movie. I am struggling to see a red thread or at least a plan at all behind it all.

Some yelling, some swashbuckling, some more yelling and everything wierdly cut together to a porridge of gore. Thank God Alba August and Sophie Cookson do a good job of killing Danes and being bad ass. With a narrative more focused on them and less on the group of yelling men trying to resemble Danes, this might have been at least watchable.