- Randy Rosen: [arguing about the demon] This isn't... Casper the fucking friendly ghost you're chasing man!
- Dennis: [static crackling, the timeline is September 1988 in Santa Rosa, California] All right and there she is. The mother of the birthday girl, my girlfriend...
- Julie: [shot of Katie's birthday cake] Chocolate, chocolate, rainbow stuff.
- Dennis: That is a good-looking cake.
- Julie: Which is exactly what she wanted.
- Dennis: Beautiful. Just beautiful. And you're beautiful. I don't know how you do it.
- Dennis: [talking to Kristi in the bedroom] I watched some of the tapes on the camera and I saw you talking to somebody late last night.
- Kristi: If you saw me talking to somebody, it would be Toby.
- Dennis: [chuckling] Toby's your friend?
- Kristi: Yes. He's my friend.
- Dennis: Yeah, what do you guys talk about?
- Kristi: Mmm, secrets.
- Dennis: He's big?
- Kristi: Mmm-hmm.
- Dennis: So, is he old, like Grandma, or is he young, like you?
- Kristi: He's old, like Grandma.
- Dennis: And what does he look like? Is he tall? Is he fat?
- Kristi: He's tall. He's tall. Don't call him fat.
- Dennis: Kristi, when you say that if you tell one of your secrets that you'll be in trouble with Toby, what does that mean?
- Kristi: Well, I won't be safe. He's gonna...
- Dennis: Did he say he's gonna hurt you?
- Kristi: No. But I won't be safe. That means, I will be, like... Be in very, very big trouble. Big trouble.
- [first lines]
- Daniel: [documenting behind the camera] You'll be spending a lot of time in here. This is gonna be your room. There's some kind of animal being de-liced or something. Compression chamber, that's your crib. It's hermetically sealed. And this is your paint color. What color is that, hon?
- Adult Kristi: Jamaica bay blue.
- Dennis: [talking about what the title to Back to the Future should've been called] It should either be called Back to the Past...
- Randy Rosen: No, no.
- Dennis: End of story.
- Randy Rosen: That doesn't make any sense. It makes total sense.
- Dennis: Let's Get Back to the Present, maybe. But, Back to the Past...
- Randy Rosen: Back to the Present.
- Dennis: [from trailer] There's something in the house... Kristi's like connected; it's a real life poltergeist. Kristi's like Carol-Anne!
- Dennis: I just gotta film this stuff, I could set my cameras around the house right? I could maybe capture something...
- Randy Rosen: Yeah?
- Dennis: [Julie and Dennis are about to make a sex tape of themselves; Julie is smoking marijuana] Julie, do the voice.
- [in a funny voice]
- Dennis: Dennis.
- Julie: [takes another puff of her joint, then does her funny accented voice] What voice?
- Dennis: [Dennis starts laughing]
- Julie: This voice? Dennis, I can't believe you're filming me smoke mari-juana.
- Dennis: [about to shoot a sex tape with Julie] All right. It's time.
- Julie: Don't film this.
- Dennis: Why not?
- Julie: It's illegal.
- Dennis: [Dennis starts laughing]
- Julie: Don't laugh.
- Dennis: We haven't even started smoking it, and you're already paranoid.
- Julie: It's illegal. What if my kids find me? I'm a mother.
- Dennis: Now relax.
- Julie: [simultaneously] Seriously, Dennis.
- Dennis: [starts mocking] Seriously, Julie. Let's get really serious. Seriously.
- Julie: Shut up.
- Dennis: Let's be serious.
- Julie: Alright.
- Randy Rosen: [Randy goes to investigate what had happened outside the bathroom; once he's outside, the table nearby is violently trashed right in front of Randy, frightening him] Holy fuck!
- Randy Rosen: [Randy closes the door, exclaiming frightfully] Okay...
- [turns the camera onto a horrified Katie]
- Randy Rosen: Nothing happened.
- Katie: You okay?
- Randy Rosen: Nothing. You're fine.
- Katie: [upset] I wanna get out of here!
- Randy Rosen: It's okay, all right? We're gonna get out of here.
- [to himself]
- Randy Rosen: Come on, Randy!
- Katie: [playing the Bloody Mary game, Katie first explains it] So, you say Bloody Mary three times.
- Randy Rosen: Mmm-hmm.
- Katie: And then you wait a little bit and then you turn the lights back on; and then you're supposed to see her body in the mirror and she's gonna try to kill you.
- Randy Rosen: Try and kill you. Good game.
- [chuckles]
- Katie: Yep.
- Randy Rosen: I don't know why you wanna play this- One of us is gonna be dead by the end of it. I guess it's a one-time game. Okay, let's do it.
- Katie, Randy Rosen: Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
- Katie: [Randy turns on the light as nothing happens] Randy!
- Randy Rosen: Nothing happened.
- [chuckles]
- Katie: You turned the light on too soon!
- Randy Rosen: Oh, come on, Katie. This is stupid.
- [as he walks to the door]
- Katie: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You can't leave!
- [blocking the door]
- Randy Rosen: Let's just go play doll house or something.
- Katie: No, you didn't do it right.
- Randy Rosen: What did I not do right?
- Katie: You need to keep the light off longer.
- Randy Rosen: Okay. Okay. All right. You wanna play Bloody Mary? Let's play Bloody Mary.
- Katie: Okay, ready?
- Randy Rosen: You're not gonna see anybody play Bloody Mary like I'm about to play Bloody Mary.
- Julie: [re-watching the sex tape over a mysterious presence from the video] Dennis. Oh, my God, I look so fat.
- Dennis: You don't look fat.
- Julie: Look at the size of me on top of you.
- Dennis: You look beautiful. You look like you can't breathe 'cause I'm sitting on top of you. I want another shot at doing one of these.
- Randy Rosen: [the guys are looking over the footage from last night] How many hours of footage do you have?
- Dennis: This is the job, man. I got two cameras, six hours each. Twelve hours.
- Randy Rosen: Twelve hours of footage?
- Dennis: Yeah. Got to do it, man. I'm seriously gonna review it...
- Randy Rosen: ...of footage every day?
- Dennis: Yes. Now, please, I'm trying to concentrate.
- Randy Rosen: That's so stupid. There's only 24 hours in a day, Dennis.
- Randy Rosen: [Julie watches the boys] Hey, Julie.
- Julie: ...going?
- Dennis: Um... Good. You want to step into my office and do some work with me or...
- Julie: No. You find anything?
- Randy Rosen: Yes, actually. We did find something. We found that your family sleeps all night. Oh!
- Julie: Very funny, Randy.