- Barney Stinson: [Coaching Ted on how to get Punchy to leave his apartment] You are the weakest link, Goodbye. Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn't work for us. Your time's up! I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the château. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped.
- Ted Mosby: Okay, yeah I know...
- Barney Stinson: You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn't measure up. Sashay away. Give me your jacket and leave Hell's Kitchen. I'm sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, you're wearing a flower.
- Barney Stinson: Thank You!
- Marshall Eriksen: I didn't compliment, just observed.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [to Lily] Look, I hate most babies, but your baby; I'm going to love that kid so much. I'm going to pick it up and everything.
- Barney Stinson: SCIENCE! There is an 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. Think about it, proms, weddings, grandmas funerals... Thanks for the redhead Nana. The everyday boutonniere, by Stinson.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Aaaand nope!
- Robin Scherbatsky: [Robin has had enough of Lily's baby talk and lets everything out when Lily utters one word too many] Oh my God, you're not even pregnant yet!
- Lily Aldrin: What is that supposed to mean?
- Robin Scherbatsky: It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to the lining of your uterine wall. You see? I read your Facebook updates. It's like, it's all you ever talk about Lily, and I'm sick of it!
- Lily Aldrin: Well guess what, I got some good news. When that baby comes, you don't have to see it. In fact, you don't have to see me, this whole friendship thing? Done.
- Barney Stinson: [about the show Robin did as her teen pop-star alter-ego Robin Sparkles; "the Space Teens] Space? Teens? Is this a porno?